How many men will accept that I'll never do cohabitation?

[Lonewing]

For many people, women included, sex is just sex, taken for personal pleasure. Times achangin'...

[SapphireNoir10]

Me and my boyfriend didn't move in until we were engaged and I was pregnant! We're now very happily married no harm in wanting what you want

 

I attach sex with love. I've never had a one night stand I've always slept with people I was dating or cared about.

 

I don't judge people that don't though

[Fudgie]

For many people, women included, sex is just sex, taken for personal pleasure. Times achangin'...

 

I don't think it's about "times changing"...it's just more people are being more open about what you want.

 

And the girls you are talking about, those are the girls who are out there for ONS and casual sex. We're talking about relationships here.

[_Asti_]

I haven't had much experience with cohabitating but I always felt that I wouldn't live with someone unless it was serious. And my husband knew that from early on.

 

When my husband and I decided to move in together it was because we knew marriage was on the horizon within the next year or so.

 

And since we were at a point where we were getting married we felt confident in each other. Let me tell you, there wasn't much I learned that I didn't already know when it came to living together. There was no shock, no adjustment, no eye openers.

 

And the attitude was different. So many said "yes!! Try before you buy!!" But I said "no no we are buying!!" We took it seriously. If something wasn't going well it wasn't "is this what I want?" It was "okay we need to figure this out so we can move forward"

 

We were engaged within 9 months and married the following year and went on to purchase a home and start a family.

 

But we didn't rush moving in together, it was several years in and did so because we knew we were getting married. We didn't want the added stress of trying to sort out living arrangements while planning a wedding. We wanted that in place so we could enjoy the engagement and planning of our wedding.

[Lonewing]

I don't think it's about "times changing"...it's just more people are being more open about what you want.

 

And the girls you are talking about, those are the girls who are out there for ONS and casual sex. We're talking about relationships here.

 

Just because a girls wants an ONS or casual sex does not mean she's not looking for a relationship, and just because she's looking for a relationship, doesn't mean she'll pass up a good thing when the opportunity comes up.

[happpybear]

*blush* i've probably slept with a guy before i even knew his last name....ok...i guess we really never SLEPT.

 

bwahaha

 

Seriously, though, you don't really know a person until you have lived with them. i am glad i lived with old BF's, because i think if i hadn't the relationships would have lasted much longer than they otherwise would have. It's the same with friendship too, i have had some long-term friendships come to an end after a period of living as roomies...and have had some friendships strengthen immensely after having been roomies. So, I think if the relationship is doomed, then it will come to an end quicker if you live together, and if it is meant to be, i think you will strengthen that bond much more quickly if you love together.

 

Therefore, cohabitation before marriage or engagement is a good thing in my opinion

[Blue Spiral]

Just because a girls wants an ONS or casual sex does not mean she's not looking for a relationship, and just because she's looking for a relationship, doesn't mean she'll pass up a good thing when the opportunity comes up.

 

Indeed. It's rare for people to stay at one end of the spectrum or the other, and never budge from it--most people have casual periods and monogamous periods. Most of my FWBs are monogamy-seeking women who are taking a break from "seeking" for whatever reason.

[Fudgie]

Interesting. I know plenty of people on one extreme or another. I'm on one extreme myself and don't date anyone who isn't on the same extreme. Thankfully, I haven't had a problem, despite being really overweight.

 

I'd just rather not get a STD.

 

I guess it takes all types. I'm glad non-monogamous have other non-monogamous people to date.

[Heartbroken17]

A couple of years ago I would have always said "try before you buy". I lived with my ex (moved into his house) for four years, talked about marriage, but he never proposed. Then he dumped me, whole world turned upside down, I had to move out and sleep on several sofas for a couple of months until I sorted out somewhere to live.

 

I'm in a new relationship now - together about 5 months and I'm not moving in with anyone until I'm engaged. I spend a lot of time with him (we spend every weekend together), and having lived with someone for four years and losing everything, I know I don't want to risk losing what is now my stable life and home by giving it a try.

 

I know everyone's situation is different - but personally, I'm an all or nothing girl now!

[PaintWithLight]

I know many people are nowadays doing this but I'm still old-fashioned. I won't move in with any man unless there is a true purpose and it goes deeper than just a relationship.

 

Actually, I think your opinion is pretty common. I do not see why a guy would object. Sharing space and expenses is a big big deal.

[Lonewing]

Indeed. It's rare for people to stay at one end of the spectrum or the other, and never budge from it--most people have casual periods and monogamous periods. Most of my FWBs are monogamy-seeking women who are taking a break from "seeking" for whatever reason.

 

If anything, having random wild crazy sex [mutual masturbation, really] without commitment is a good way to separate the confusion that is the physical emotional feelings of sex from the emotional physical feelings of love. Hence, better decision making, because there's no longer a "I MUST marry him if I want to have sex with him![when all I want to do is have sex]" issue.