metrogirl Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 You make her feel good. You likely rock her world in the sack and that is what she wants. Don't confuse that with anything else, you will be sorely disappointed. You have low esteem huh? Link to comment
abitbroken Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 She did not introduce you to her hubby and say "here is who i am bonking" but you met them under other circumstances - so it doesn't count as her bringing you home to hubby and intro ing you as her approved fling. She wants you just for sex. If she does leave her husband, you won't last long. She will go through a big process with the kids, etc. and you will fall by the wayside so she doesn't have to let people know about you. Also, if you are a friend to the family, it will be scandalous. Also, if she has a high level job and you are low on the totem poll, she will not want to be with you permanently because in social situations it may not look good to her. Also, there are children who are going to suffer here. There are a lot of matches where the guy makes way less but they met for other reasons - intellectual interests, etc, and bonded that way and have assets and skills that compliment eachother. Anyway - no, she won't make you official. too much gossip and she is MARRIED. Have some self respect and walk away. If she divorces for real - not just file, but its final, and sufficient time has passed and you run into her again and decide to have a non secret go at it, then fine, but not now. Find a single lady. Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 You make her feel good. You likely rock her world in the sack and that is what she wants. Don't confuse that with anything else, you will be sorely disappointed. You have low esteem huh? This is exactly it. At her age, you're making her feel sexy..attractive...wanted. Her and her husband's sex life might be lacking and you're giving her what he isn't. You're her play thing. I'm not trying to be mean or harsh at all, hopefully. She's taking advantage of your feelings. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 Well she's highly successful in her life and extremely intelligent not immature, To be honest i did feel insulted, but before she said all that she said that it was really cute that i was feeling and acting this way. Like during last week she went shopping and MMSed me the clothes that she was going to buy and asked me if i think she will look beautiful in them. So, she's condescending, and besides sex, she wants you to tell her how beautiful she is. That is a humdinger of a relationship. Link to comment
iamkaylee Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 And she still chose to be with me and i think i should respect her for that. She chose you because you're HALF her age and it feeds her supersized ego to be boinking someone that's young enough to be her kid. You told her about this and she LAUGHED at you? She wants you to be patient for 3 months? Have a little self respect here. Tell her she's got three months to sort herself out, file for a divorce and move out. Then she can come chasing after your studmuffin. She's using you to make herself feel better. That's all she's doing. As soon as she's bored with you, you start making waves or anyone starts suspecting something, she'll toss you off like yesterday's trash. If you REALLY want to know the truth here all you need to do is one thing. Call her up and tell her you're not totally comfortable with the situation the way it is. Tell her you're on the way to her house to see her husband and have a man-to-man talk with him about getting his permission to have sex with his wife. Fasten your seatbelt, hang on and watch how fast the sparks fly when she throws you under the bus. Link to comment
hopefully Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 So, she's condescending, and besides sex, she wants you to tell her how beautiful she is. That is a humdinger of a relationship. I used to tell her she was beautiful even when we were just friends, because she really is. She doesnt look her age at all. And its not just her appearance, her social status is a huge attraction for me but at the same time it scares me. Link to comment
hopefully Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 I was introduced to her extended family too. So i do understand the gravity of what im doing. And i dont want to make anyone suffer. I think i'll speak to her. Link to comment
hopefully Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 Thanks. I will speak to her. Link to comment
hopefully Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 Hi, she sent me a good morning a text and we exchanged a couple of texts afterwards. Instead of accusing her i told her i felt like she was using me for sex. Her response was that she felt like i was attacking her and its not like whatever happened was forced out of me, because she felt like thats what i was trying to imply. And told me that may be it wouldnt have happened if i didnt give her a peck on the cheek. Which i really did because she used to hug me whenever we said bye. I just gave her a peck on the cheek during the hug and she grabbed me and kissed me and thats how it happened. And asked me who i've been talking to about our relationship because she knows these aren't my words. I still didnt reply to her last message because i feel like im making this worse. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Do you know how many people I peck on the cheek? She is insane to say that, THAT is what caused this. She continues to be rude, selfish, insulting, and mean. IF you respect yourself, if you have any self esteem send her one final message saying, "(Name), I have to end thing. I no longer feel comfortable being a dirty secret. If a time comes when we and I are both single then maybe we can try again. Right now though I just can't be what you want me to be." Then do not respond to anything she sends you. Link to comment
hopefully Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 Do you know how many people I peck on the cheek? She is insane to say that, THAT is what caused this. She continues to be rude, selfish, insulting, and mean. IF you respect yourself, if you have any self esteem send her one final message saying, "(Name), I have to end thing. I no longer feel comfortable being a dirty secret. If a time comes when we and I are both single then maybe we can try again. Right now though I just can't be what you want me to be." Then do not respond to anything she sends you. I still didnt talk to her. I've been feeling sick the whole day and i feel guilty after talking to her. May be she's right, she probably thought that i asked for it when i kissed her on the cheeks because i had never done that to her before. Someone warned me about meeting her like this but i didnt listen to them at all. I need to think this through because telling her off could cost me my job which i enjoy very much. I dont think she's a bad person because she's very charming. But i am going to make a decision now because im not happy about the current state of our relationship at all. Link to comment
hodgeheg Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Instead of accusing her i told her i felt like she was using me for sex. Her response was that she felt like i was attacking her and its not like whatever happened was forced out of me, because she felt like thats what i was trying to imply. And told me that may be it wouldnt have happened if i didnt give her a peck on the cheek. So you basically asked her if she was just using you for sex and instead of denying it she turned it into an attack on you? Yeah, she's using you for sex and attention. End this. Link to comment
hopefully Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 So you basically asked her if she was just using you for sex and instead of denying it she turned it into an attack on you? Yeah, she's using you for sex and attention. End this. Thanks. I thought it was her defending herself. Link to comment
hopefully Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 Going to call her and end this. I hate feeling like this. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Going to call her and end this. I hate feeling like this. Its the right thing to do. Remember, she is going to try and manipulate you into doing what she wants not what is best and healthiest for you. Just be firm and gentle. Make it about you not her, "I don't feel comfortable anymore." "I need time to figure things out for me." etc Link to comment
hopefully Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 Okay the phone conversation didnt go as i expected. Just when she picked up the phone she asked me if im back to normal now and its good and that i should get my drivers license because she's going to give me her car when she gets a new one which is in a couple months. She knows that i like her car. And i felt bad of course and totally lost what i was going to say. I just continued a friendly conversation and she was very excited and happy to hear from me. Im going to text her and tell her i should stop this. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 So --- it looks like she has resorted to bribing you. That's nice. And strangely enough --- it won't be for a few months....so you got that going for you. You don't have a license, she makes 10x more than you and you think you could get fired if you break up with her. My advice -- if that happens, file a complaint w/ HR for sexual harassment. She is using you, plain and simple. Link to comment
hopefully Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 So --- it looks like she has resorted to bribing you. That's nice. And strangely enough --- it won't be for a few months....so you got that going for you. You don't have a license, she makes 10x more than you and you think you could get fired if you break up with her. My advice -- if that happens, file a complaint w/ HR for sexual harassment. She is using you, plain and simple. There is no point in filing a complaint to HR because i dont work for her or the same company. She holds a first level position of a huge corporation and the job that i have i got it because of her personal recommendation, at a much smaller company that does business with their corporation and depends on them very much. Simply put she got me the job using her power and this happened when we were friends. Besides im not willing to take it that far and cause her harm to her life because despite all this she has helped me a lot. If she asked them to fire me i would just accept it and leave. I feel bad and sick. Thanks. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 So she blackmails (your afraid for your job), brides (gives you expensive gifts), manipulates, and insults you. What do you find charming about this women? She sounds like a monster, TBH. If this is the relationship you want accept that you are a both a kept man and a dirty little secret. If you are OK with that then go right on head. If not then pick up the phone again and break things off. Link to comment
hopefully Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 So she blackmails (your afraid for your job), brides (gives you expensive gifts), manipulates, and insults you. What do you find charming about this women? She sounds like a monster, TBH. If this is the relationship you want accept that you are a both a kept man and a dirty little secret. If you are OK with that then go right on head. If not then pick up the phone again and break things off. No she didnt blackmail me or say anything like that to be honest. Im just afraid. Well she's always been a very generous and she said that she was going to give it to me even before i opened my mouth to say that i was going to end it. Yeah im not okay with that at all. I'll take your advice and end it. I did it thinking i could be okay with something like that but after we were done i think i fell in love with her. I just like her alot. There is something about her. This is really hard for me because i went through a break up recently. Have to wait till she wakes up. Link to comment
hopefully Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 Is it normal to feel literally sick? I've experienced this before. Right after my break up. But this time its different. I feel like i ate something gross and i feel filthy. I literally feel like i want to throw up. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Is it normal to feel literally sick? I've experienced this before. Right after my break up. But this time its different. I feel like i ate something gross and i feel filthy. I literally feel like i want to throw up. Its very normal to feel this way when breaking away from a manipulator. Detox from her and in a few months you will be able to look back and see everything that everyone on here sees. When you are right in the thick of things with someone like this it can be very painful to leave. Link to comment
hopefully Posted July 27, 2013 Author Share Posted July 27, 2013 We exchanged a lot of texts during the whole day and i made it clear that i have to stop this. Then she calls me crying and she dropped it to one month. Not three anymore. I said i needed time to figure it out and let her know if one month is okay with me. I wouldnt lie, it feels good to have so much control over the emotions of someone like her, i know it makes me a horrible person. I dont know if i should accept it now that its been dropped to one month. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 Don't worry...it will be extended. For as long as she feels like it. Sorry dude...you've got no power. The woman is a master manipulator. She has used power, money, sex and now tears to get you to agree to anything she wants. Link to comment
hopefully Posted July 27, 2013 Author Share Posted July 27, 2013 Don't worry...it will be extended. For as long as she feels like it. Sorry dude...you've got no power. The woman is a master manipulator. She has used power, money, sex and now tears to get you to agree to anything she wants. So i shouldnt give her one month either? But it didnt sound like she was faking it. Link to comment
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