Doesnt want to make it official

[hopefully]

I mean really! Talk about being shortsighted. Well, at least you're only ruining a third of your life. You're helping to ruin the majority of the rest of her life, and that of her husband.

 

You're a real catch!

 

Im not ruining anyone's anything. She made a conscious decision to be with me. And i could care less about her husband or anyone else.

[metrogirl]

Ok well good luck with that when she decides to ditch you because it's cheaper to keep him.

[Heather Dawn]

I'm surprised people have continued to offer advice to the OP when it's obvious he has no intention of actually following it.

 

OP, you need mental help - you're clearly not coming from a healthy place, whatsoever. And, at this point, when you're knowingly pursuing a situation that is detrimental to everyone involved, there is no sympathy to be had for you. You're being self-destructive, selfish and - to be frank - this is NOT love, it's obsession. And it's sick.

[calichick007]

This woman is sick for what (I suspect) she is doing to her daughter. Sick.

[hopefully]

I'm surprised people have continued to offer advice to the OP when it's obvious he has no intention of actually following it.

 

OP, you need mental help - you're clearly not coming from a healthy place, whatsoever. And, at this point, when you're knowingly pursuing a situation that is detrimental to everyone involved, there is no sympathy to be had for you. You're being self-destructive, selfish and - to be frank - this is NOT love, it's obsession. And it's sick.

 

Im thankful to everyone who offered me advice, and im sure someday i might come running back to them crying. But i made a decision and im happy with it, at least for now.

 

Im not being selfish, and i dont see why i have to care about anyone else. I dont owe anyone anything.

[hopefully]

Ok well good luck with that when she decides to ditch you because it's cheaper to keep him.

 

I know its going to happen sooner or later, but as i long as i get to keep the things she's offered me so far, i dont care.

[hopefully]

I'm surprised people have continued to offer advice to the OP when it's obvious he has no intention of actually following it.

 

OP, you need mental help - you're clearly not coming from a healthy place, whatsoever. And, at this point, when you're knowingly pursuing a situation that is detrimental to everyone involved, there is no sympathy to be had for you. You're being self-destructive, selfish and - to be frank - this is NOT love, it's obsession. And it's sick.

 

Please dont think im a bad person because of my previous comment. I do care about fellow human beings. But if i had to choose between protecting someone's feelings and an expensive car with a hot woman i would choose the latter.

[hopefully]

This isnt even me. what the hell am i doing.

[Heather Dawn]

Please dont think im a bad person because of my previous comment. I do care about fellow human beings. But if i had to choose between protecting someone's feelings and an expensive car with a hot woman i would choose the latter.

 

That is selfish. Period. There's no way to rationalize your way out of it. You're being selfish as hell. And one day, someone is going to do the same to you and no one will want to hear it from you when you whine about it.

 

(And, by the way - the more you post, the more I think this obsession is not even about the woman but about the material things and potential status that she offers you.)

[calichick007]

This isnt even me. what the hell am i doing.

 

Attempting to mask the pain of your breakup. Trying to kill 2 birds with one stone -- staying connected to your ex in a sick way, and fulfilling your need for a maternal connection through the mother. I think that's why you feel so obsessed/panicky... you know if you do the right thing and end it, it will mean finality of your relationship with both of them. You will be left to face the reality of your breakup, which I know is scary. But what you are doing now is really, really, really disgusting. What she is doing is worse.

[calichick007]

Also, I hope you and your ex don't have mutual friends. If she ever found out about this, your reputation and other personal relationships would be done, permanently.

[iamkaylee]

This is the kind of stuff that wrecks people's lives forever.

 

So tell me OP....

 

when you look back in ten years time do you think you'll be proud of what you're doing here? Is this something you'd enjoy telling your future kids about?

 

Or will you be ashamed and revolted by it?