learning112 Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 My ex was Indian, I was American born and raised in California. He kept me hidden our whole relationship, claiming he couldn't tell his family until we were very serious (right before getting engaged). Then he broke up with me saying his parents would never approve & he didn't want to hurt them. However, he became very depressed for months after he left me. Then, right before I moved far away, he asked if we could get back together and try long distance because he found he just couldn't be without me. At this point, he claimed he'd tell his parents if everything went well with our new long-distance relationship. Then, a week later, something horrible happens at his high-pressure job, possibly ruining his chance at career advancement. Long story short, drama with me/distraction just an hour before was honestly one of the contributing factors to him making a mistake. So then he breaks up with me again, saying he needs to focus on career for right now & also, "I just didn't want to make you think things would be easy for us, given my family." Yet at the same time he keeps swearing I'm the love of his life. so now he keeps saying that he "can't" be with me because of his parents... even though his older brother just stood up against their parents & refused an arranged marriage, and my ex never even tried to fight for me 1 time!!! Yet he says he's constantly praying that I'll want to be best friends and "share our lives" someday. HOW can this man not see how incredibly selfish it is to think I'll want to hear about his new wife somedaY? Not to mention the fact that if he truly loved me the way he kept claiming, he'd be with me & make sacrifices for me!! I'm so devastated and exhausted by all this back and forth. Who claims "you're the love of my life"... and then does nothing to prove it? Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 The only way you'll feel better is by cutting him off. He's weak and cruel. Link to comment
learning112 Posted July 12, 2013 Author Share Posted July 12, 2013 Weak and cruel? Why do you say that? I told him that it was horrible to not even try to tell his parents about me once, and instead downgrade me to his little hidden 2nd-best friend who has to watch him marry someone else. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 I say that because I read this. He won't tell his parents about you, so either he's weak to them. Or he's weak to you because he won't tell you that you really don't mean enough to him for him to want to marry you. Cruel because even after doing this, he still pulls you back with talk of being friends and sharing lives... He's not going to be with you, but he wants you on the sides pining for him. Link to comment
Justnotsure Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 So, nothing has changed since your last thread was closed for going nowhere. You're still indignant about information that you've had for months and months. And still failing to see your role. He's "downgrading you and forcing you to watch him marry someone else." Where exactly is that force coming from? It's the same type of "forcing" that you are trying to do in order to make him "stand up to his family." The kind of "forcing" that several members have tried to make you understand that your only option for "happiness" is to move on. You see, nobody forces anyone to do anything - we all make our own decisions. Link to comment
learning112 Posted July 12, 2013 Author Share Posted July 12, 2013 You're both right. I'm just trying to figure out how to feel better. By telling him (as I did) that I refuse to stand around and watch him marry another woman like he wants? then stop talking to him and date somoene else? Maybe that's best... I wish he wuold realize what a big mistake he's making by not following his heart & being with me. Link to comment
learning112 Posted July 16, 2013 Author Share Posted July 16, 2013 I'm worried that I'll never get over this. And that maybe I'm holding out hope that he'll come around. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 So, nothing has changed since your last thread was closed for going nowhere. You're still indignant about information that you've had for months and months. This. You refuse to help yourself. Link to comment
learning112 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Share Posted July 18, 2013 No, I did the right thing by telling him I refuse to be just friends, and if he intends to marry someone else then i dont want to talk to him again. didn't I? Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Yes, you did the right thing there. But you still need to work on getting over him. You need to work on getting your mind to break up with him as well. Link to comment
SilverFactory Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 you are still talking to this guy? wow! Link to comment
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