I'm terrified of never finding love

[stayClimbing]

I've posted very little here. I'm a 22 year old male living at home. I think I'm finally over whatever happened before. As it turns out, I was recently diagnosed with a tumor in my eye. I'm absolutely horrified about this. The doctor was supposed to operate on it today - he injected me with an anesthetic but then turned around and couldn't find his tools. Now I might have to wait another week or two before I can get this removed and even then, if it's malignant, I will have to undergo chemo or even lose my eye (I have no idea). I'm terrified, I haven't told my parents and only a few of my friends know. I'm 22. With that said, I haven't been in a relationship in a long time. 2 years. I had a fling, it's over now. It reminded me of what it's like being in a relationship and I miss that feeling.

 

I met a couple girls this past weekend. Problem being none of them got back to me about the plans we made when we met. It just reminds me of all of my past failures (with girls) and it depresses me. The fact that I might possibly have cancer now is also terrifying me and I am just really scared and don't know what to do.

[annie24]

hey - i am really sorry to hear about the cancer. i think since you are so young, your prognosis is very good. tell your parents, and start treatments soon. be positive - i think that you have a great chance at beating this. and i think you'd look pretty badass with an eyepatch! don't worry about the dating right now. just try to get through this. hang in there!!!

[Raiden]

I agree with annie24.

 

By all means, distract yourself from the abject terror you're feeling with something positive and motivational. But you've got more fundamental problems going on at the moment than some (perceived) dating failures. Address one problem at a time.

 

I sincerely wish you the best of luck with your surgery, and I hope the tumor is benign.

[SapphireNoir10]

Hello. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis but like Annie said at your age your prognosis is going to be excellent I'm sure. I think you should speak to your parents and allow them to support you.

 

I think you should concentrate on getting better, and then worry about dating. My dad didn't get married until he was 37! You have plenty of time for all of that. You will meet someone but at the moment just focus on your health.

[stayClimbing]

I have a weird relationship with my parents. They want me out, but the market is so tough I can't get a job anywhere. I feel like I wasted my entire college career studying Biochemistry. I feel like a failure. And on top of this, they always blame me for everything. When I got back and told my mom that the guy couldn't find his tools, she still managed to subvert it and talk about how I'm going nowhere with my life and this is an extension of that. I don't know what to do.

[annie24]

a lot of my friends are in your same position (studied biochem as well!!) the job market is really rough right now. did you look into some temp agencies? i don't think you should feel like a failure because it is really rough out there right now. i know very qualified people (with PhDs) even who have sent out 200 applications and gotten nothing back, maybe an interview or two. you just have to stick with it.

 

how are the cancer treatments going? can you hold off on the job search until you are healthier? if employers ask about your employment gap, you can just tell them it was health related.

[Jayauntae F.]

i'm sorry to hear about your cancer and i pray everything goes well

 

2nd off, things happen......would i personally like to find love? you bet'cha!!!!!! but the things is i'm not to good at talking to women so when i'm on a date i usually just blurt out random stuff even peter griffin would find stupid, and then laugh until i droll down to my thigh, and i have no remorse about it as i would do the same thing on the next date.

 

take it easy, relax i think everything for you is going fine, it's just going to take some time and patience

[stayClimbing]

The tumor was excised last Thursday. I've been taking medication to heal the spot where the surgery happened. I find out next Thursday whether it was malignant or benign and I'm really hoping it is benign. I haven't been able to sleep well all week, very interrupted sleep. I just saw the movie Blue Valentine starring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams and that movie scared me even more. I just don't know what to think and how to act around people anymore. I feel like nobody truly understands me and I'm so scared all the time

[todayisrough]

I hope you will find out it was benign! I understand your feelings about it! I had cancer when I was 23 and it was horrendous !It was caught early enough, so no chemo for me Thank God! I think your panic stems from the threat of cancer at the moment. I totally understand, I went haywire after it was cut out, looking for anyone and everyone to love me! I got into a couple of bad relationships, just incompatibility issues, but they still bruised my ego and confidence big time! Try and concentrate on one thing at a time! Don't try and think of the bigger picture! My extended family wasn't very supportive either, they told me if you don't need Chemo it was never Cancer! I sat there at the Doc and asked her again if it was cancer, she said: Yes it was cancer! as in why are you asking!? I felt silly for doubting myself and my doctor then! LOL So don't give two pennys on what everyone else says! Try and keep busy until you get your results! Then when it comes back benign and I hope it will, concentrate on finding any kind of Job.. Anything that will give you enough money to get out of your parents house and on your own two feet! Then when you're happy Love will find you! Trust me it will! Just another thing I want to tell you! You are allowed to be scared! You are allowed to cry and feel emotion! Heck this is such a tough situation! Who wouldn't feel overwhelmed I understand you! If you need someone to talk to I am sure we are all here for encouragement! x