Signs she's losing interest?

[ThomasP]

I'm not a player by any means, so when it comes to reading girls...well let's just say I'm the last person anyone should go to. I've only been in 3 relationships my entire life, and 2 ended well; one girl moved away so it was mutual, and the other was having family issues which I helped her through, but we both agreed a relationship at the time would not be good for her. The last is the one I am currently in.

I'm really into this girl, but sometimes I wonder if she feels the same way.

Short background: We were friends for 1.5 years prior to dating. There was some tension because she shot me down due to personal issues with her and her sister (don't ask, just trust me when I say that it was a legitimate reason). I changed a lot and she started liking me again. I also liked her but did not tell her since I felt the ball was still in her court. 2 months back we talked, and started dated. We declared ourselves "exclusive" right away since we already knew how we felt about each other. She seemed really into the relationship; she would always call/text, sometime's we would go out, and I have met many members of her family.

We started classes 2 weeks ago, and since then we've been spending a bit more time together since our breaks tend to be around the same time (different majors, but our schedules worked out well).

She ran into an old friend of hers (male) who she didn't see at all for the last 2 quarters. He seemed a bit flirty with her, and she seemed friendly with him. I'm not really sure if she was flirty or not, but it didn't bother me too much. We hung out with him for an hour or so, and he asked her when her breaks were so they could hang out; she said she'd call him later. As far as I know, they haven't hung out together since I've been around her during most of her breaks.

For the past few days she's done a few things differently:

1. She didn't text me goodnight for the past 2 nights (I texted her goodnight, but got no reply. I don't call since she's always studying and replying to a text is quick and easy).

2. I texted her 2 mornings ago, but got no reply.

3. She also doesn't call/text as often as before. I assume that's because she's busy with school now.

 

She does still call me after her class to see if I want to meet up so we can study. 4 nights ago she made a joke about how her friends would "not allow us to break up." It was random, so I just laughed and we both said we had not intended on doing so anyways.

I used to drive her sister to school in the mornings, but currently I do not have time for that. I don't think that really has anything to do with this, but I thought I'd throw it in there anyways.

She has also said that I'm very protective of her (I don't let her walk to her car alone at night, I walk her to her door, etc.). But she did throw out the word controlling 3 times now. Twice it sounded like she was joking, but I'm not sure about the third.

 

I did also throw out that I may be studying abroad for a month this summer. She sounded extremely excited for me and asked me tons of questions. I don't think being away for a month is scaring her off though

 

I normally would assume that everything I said in this post is due to her being busy with school, but for some reason I feel she's losing interest already. A lot of things are stressing me out right now, so a little clarity would be nice.

[Capricorn3]

she did throw out the word controlling 3 times now.

For some reasons the above statement seems the most relevant one to me. After only dating for 2 months and already saying you are controlling three times in such a short time, sends warning signs and big red flags (imo). Even if it was "possible joking", I think there is always something behind it (from her perspective).

 

So yes, as to your topic title, I do think it is possible that she could be losing interest, but it's probably best you have a talk with her, as only you know her, and we don't.

[junebug123]

You sound like a clinger. That's is probably why she is losing interest in my opinion, sometimes you got to let people breathe and give them space to miss you.

[ThomasP]

You sound like a clinger. That's is probably why she is losing interest in my opinion, sometimes you got to let people breathe and give them space to miss you.

 

We used to see each other once a week for a few hours, whereas my friends would see their SO's 3-5 times for the entire day. Trust me, she has all the space that a boyfriend could reasonably give. I don't meet up with her when it's inconvenient to either one of us and I always ask her whether or not I should set up plans due to her busy schedule. If she says no, I laugh it off and wish her good luck with whatever she's doing.

I won't lie though, I text her throughout the day to see how things are going. Not every few hours, once a day and that is all.

 

For some reasons the above statement seems the most relevant one to me. After only dating for 2 months and already saying you are controlling three times in such a short time, sends warning signs and big red flags (imo). Even if it was "possible joking", I think there is always something behind it (from her perspective).

 

So yes, as to your topic title, I do think it is possible that she could be losing interest, but it's probably best you have a talk with her, as only you know her, and we don't.

 

Thanks. I know for a fact the first two times were a joke because of the context. A month ago I had my eyes dilated so she had to maneuver me around. I jokingly said, "Stop being so controlling!" and made sure she knew it was a joke. She used the same line against me twice, as a joke. Sorry, I don't know why I left that part out.

The third time I asked her brother to keep an eye out for her, walk her to her night class, and walk her to her car. She called me controlling for that...

[Capricorn3]

After reading your previous thread about this girl, I would say that it looks like she has never really been very into this relationship at all - definitely not to the extent that you have (far from it, imo). At that point, of only dating 1.5 months, even then she didn't seem very interested. That is a very short time and usually people are all over each other so early into a new relationship. She seemed the complete opposite (imo). To me it seems more like you are just a friend and not a serious boyfriend. I agree with all the other posters who have said it would be a good idea to end it.

[ThomasP]

After reading your previous thread about this girl, I would say that it looks like she has never really been very into this relationship at all - definitely not to the extent that you have (far from it, imo). At that point, of only dating 1.5 months, even then she didn't seem very interested. That is a very short time and usually people are all over each other so early into a new relationship. She seemed the complete opposite (imo). To me it seems more like you are just a friend and not a serious boyfriend. I agree with all the other posters who have said it would be a good idea to end it.

 

Thank you Capricorn. That is honestly what it seems like. I'm going to let it hit the 2 month mark, which will be on the 16th. If things don't change, I suppose I would be doing us both a favor by ending it. I don't know why I keep thinking this, but it seems like her old friend is a bit more than that now.

[Braveheart1]

I agree with the others and have a similar story to yours. I could see her losing interest because i think she wanted more excitement. I treated her very good though. In your case as others have said, she doesnt seem like she was into it. And that's fine. I sometimes wish people would just discuss this. I was with this gal for 2.5 months. My story is a bit different, he family treated me bad and she did the same without taking my side.

 

I would say talk to her about it. Feelings are involved, anyone hates to be in the gray area. Tell her how you feel and see what she says.

[ThomasP]

I agree with the others and have a similar story to yours. I could see her losing interest because i think she wanted more excitement. I treated her very good though. In your case as others have said, she doesnt seem like she was into it. And that's fine. I sometimes wish people would just discuss this. I was with this gal for 2.5 months. My story is a bit different, he family treated me bad and she did the same without taking my side.

 

I would say talk to her about it. Feelings are involved, anyone hates to be in the gray area. Tell her how you feel and see what she says.

 

I will tomorrow. It's almost like she's trying to get me to break up with her anyways.