Oh my God, I married a slob

[Silverbirch]

Thanks for the suggestions. It is not matter of expectations. She simply is not doing a thing. If we did not have the contract of marriage and the baby, I would have left her long ago.

We tried counseling. Terrible idea. She of course knows she is at fouls therefore she lies to anyone. She rejects me blatantly a million times in a given month. Then once she wakes up and claims that we touched my feet and that I took it away, therefore she tried to be affectionate but I rejected her. She would formally underline the invented episode ... It is crazy making. Same spins and manipulations are about her son. He can kill someone and have bloody hands but if font have a video of him doing that she would say he didn't do anything...

 

OP if:

 

counselling and talking aren't going to work - partly because she lies;

there is no love and affection;

there is no compatibility;

you are rapidly losing attraction;

no fairness;

no happiness;

you have wanted to leave but have only stayed because of "the contract of marriage and a baby" -

 

It might be better for you to seek counselling for yourself so that you can decide whether you want to stay with her or not, and then come to some planning and decisions to end the marriage.

[Joe02468]

News from sloblandia:

I make a haunted house with my boys (2 and step son), took her son tric or treat in my neigborood waiting for my boys to join from their mom. She is on couch , of course. Then my boys arrive and some nice parents of my boys classmates come around. It is 7:30pm on Halloween night. I invite the folks in for a glass of wine while the kids are showing the hounted house to other kids. My wife rudely greet my guests not leaving the couch and just ask them to be quite ... She then leaves the couch and go upstairs. I greet all good night, put all kids to bed. She has been taking a bath since 7:45 and will go to bed . Just another day in sloblandia

[Fudgie]

Your wife is not just a slob. She is rude and disrespectful.

[iamkaylee]

Dude, seriously get a divorce. She doesn't respect you and you don't have any for her either. Life is too short for this. Cut your losses and just go. It will be cheaper in the long run.

[Miss Firecracker]

News from sloblandia:

I make a haunted house with my boys (2 and step son), took her son tric or treat in my neigborood waiting for my boys to join from their mom. She is on couch , of course. Then my boys arrive and some nice parents of my boys classmates come around. It is 7:30pm on Halloween night. I invite the folks in for a glass of wine while the kids are showing the hounted house to other kids. My wife rudely greet my guests not leaving the couch and just ask them to be quite ... She then leaves the couch and go upstairs. I greet all good night, put all kids to bed. She has been taking a bath since 7:45 and will go to bed . Just another day in sloblandia

 

She should have her child taken from her. She isn't capable of raising him. You know this.

[agent1607307371]

I agree with Fudgie. I also think she is depressed, but that is not an excuse to behave badly.

[Huntress0527]

It sounds you both are very resentful towards one another. Therapy is definitely in order and while I'm no therapist this marriage sounds like it's beyond repair.

 

I hope everything works out for you, OP.

[rocio]

What drew you to her in the first place? Is there anything you like about her?

[Ayanokōji]

Yes, we had several discussions and the fact that she would come to m house, unleash her son to me and my boys to crash on couch was making me crazy already before the marriage.

Now she has the baby girl as a solid excuse to do nothing !

 

Although there is no use crying over spilt milk, she did not hide anything before the marriage but you still chose to marry her even upon seeing such behavior...

Anyways back in the day, when my mother and father split I lived with my mother and her new husband would not volunteeringly do anything for me unless my mother told him to. He would complain for weeks at a time if I did not chip in with the chores and when I after I graduated from Uni and couldn't find a job for 4 months he was mad every single day.

 

Point being, I don't think your wife is the only one who only looks after her son and neglects yours as logically she has no ties with your children so to speak, at least that was how I understood my relationship with my step father, it was a tough lesson to learn but that is the reality. We were pretty much strangers around the house, never spoke to each other and only spoke to each other through my mother and lived like that for a good 10 years (12 till 22).

 

I always thought my mother could of done better but she did not want to go through another divorce as she owns quite a bit of property and spiting it 50% would be devastating so she pretty much just "settled" with it :S If you want to start over I'm all for it but again reality and what we want is always miles apart.