How Do You Feel Today?

[C_Unknown2005]

I drank way too much coffee.....

 

Can't really sleep so I just talk about my life. It's boring right now. I get up in the mornings to workout then I go to work then bed and next thing you know a week has just flew by. Staying off facebook is actually hard, I had to put blockers up because it became and impulse when I would wake up in the morning. Trying to take control of my life and it's going to take some time to adjust. I haven't been thinking much about my ex lately. I'm starting to allow my work life consume me and keep me busy that at the end of the day I am emotionally fried. I feel like I am in a rut...

 

That's all that I have, my emotions for my ex are getting close to indifferent since I haven't see her in 4 month it crazy how time flys.

 

 

C

[klin]

I feel optimistic. And whole. My heart is healing.

[rattenkrieg]

Last week was better. Weekend was fine, went out, never lingered in bed as I tended to in most weekends. But this evening it's difficult, I'm in bed way before my sleep time, reading the forum. I just wanna talk to someone who understands right now, which makes me wonder if the subject of a chat room for this forum was ever brought up. Loveshack had a nice little tinychat thingy going around where people would just small talk and comfort each other. Not that the forum is not enough, it has its magic, but then again so does a chat room where you get instant replies unless everyone's idling. Also could be a good way to get your mind off things.

[jwhite]

It's hard for me to remember how I felt yesterday or the day before. There are periods during the day which I feel good, even though I still think about her, but there are periods where I am bad and I am still thinking about her. I had a few beers last night and I feel like crap, I wont be doing that for a while. I am depressed for sure and very weak. I dont know if I am feeling worse or better than a couple of weeks ago. Very shaky and weak on the inside and thinking of her all the time. I hate thinking about her with someone else!

[coco28]

Today is not a good day, I feel consumed by all these thoughts. I wonder when I'll be me again, enjoy my days truly.

[TRM38]

Everyday I have my "moments" I call them but at the same time, I'm better than yesterday and alot better than a month ago .. When people tell u time heals all and u think they r crazy because u can't c a way out of where ur at... Baby steps forward because they r right

[JohnGalt]

I am feeling fine. Today after private chatting with some members of the board, I am going to leave it alone and go on with my life. I think I pretty much came to the realization that what I'm doing is sport for me. I don't like failing in anything I do - whether it be professional or personal - that I haven't really thought about if my ex was good for me or not. I do not think that we had a toxic relationship, but I do not think that it was sustainable for the long term. I think we both knew this months into the relationship, but we both gave it our all because we wanted it to work desperately.

 

My ex had the strength and the courage to walk away. I think I understand what she is saying about the future now. I think I also believe there will be a time for us in the future, but we are too ambitious and selfish to be in something that is sustainable right now. We need to grow separately and meet up at some point in the future - left undefined - but if that moment ever comes, we will know it is right.

 

In the meantime, I have to open myself up to meeting the right woman for me - someone with loyalty, brains, and beauty. Someone who cherishes family and is goal oriented. Someone who is organized and likes to cook. Someone who is easy going and likes to spend a lot of time with their partner. Someone who is athletic and likes to shoot hoops. Someone who would be proud and supportive of my career.

 

I have a lot to give the right woman and maybe my ex is the ultimate right woman. But she isn't the right woman right now. And perhaps there is no right woman right now. If not, I will focus on me and my career and family and goals.

 

I have a lot to be excited about and I'm ready for the challenge.

[Anna3]

I'm glad I found this forum. It's been 5 months since my ex said we should not speak for two weeks, then we went out for a beer and he said it's over.

 

I'm frustrated that I can't seem to move on. I've been running, working, reading, contacting friends. I seem to be tough most of the time, but the beauty and spark to life has seemed to disappear. We were together for nearly 4 years, and I knew we had different ways of communicating, but overall, I loved being with him. He was kind and I thought we were best friends. I had a lot of stressors in my life at the time, and that's when he said he didn't want to have to deal with my problems. (mainly looking for a job and finding a creative outlet).

 

I feel like I've been just waiting for a perfect love to come along, but the truth is, I still miss him. He's totally dating a new girl and while I felt young, pretty, and secure with him, now I feel the opposite. I'm not sure how he can be so happy and all I think about is our sweet times together.

 

I have been soooo frustrated that I can't become happier sooner. I am convinced that until I meet a gem of a man again, I'll be slightly underwhelmed with life. I don't want to be that way, I want to be happy first, but it seems pretty hard to do that now.

[bw92116]

I feel hopeless. I tried calling him last night and he did not answer. I sent him a text to wish him a happy birthday today and he did not reply. So I feel like the communication has ended, and there is no hope.

[C_Unknown2005]

Tired & stressed

[The Bozz]

I'm starting to get bored of thinking about my ex. It seems that I'm beginning to get over it. I feel kinda disappointed, but also good at the same time.

[OuchMyBrain]

Melancholy. Just being honest...it's way difficult to deal with the holidays.

[LikeWater]

I feel pretty good actually, been doing a lot better the last couple of weeks. I've just been absolutely forcing myself to get out of the house and do something every single day, with friends if possible. Don't feel like I'm on top of the world but I do feel as if I've started climbing.

[The Bozz]

Aaand there goes my mood again. And I'm back to obsessing about the way she treated me again. Ugh. I must be tired.

[Limiya]

Been sleeping a LOT!!

Last night i went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 9am this morning. I really must have needed it. And i ate a full meal in what felt like weeks, even though it was only several days.

I'm obviously feeling very low and depressed, because i've stopped cleaning the apartment and eating properly. I need to address this issue.

I went through a crying phaze recently, and i seem to have dried up a bit now. So i hope this phase is ending and i can start moving out of it.

 

I have had no contact from him in over 2 months. He is still with his girlfriend i presume so i am sure he doesn't think of me at all. So i need to try and pull myself out of this rut i'm in.

 

Argh.

Limiya

[JohnGalt]

I feel good again. My mindset is changing. I'm beginning to get her off the pedestal and I'm beginning to heal or if not heal, at least move into the next stage of grief: Anger and/or acceptance. I realized last night that I was also falling out of love with my ex and her sudden changes in behavior when she went to law school. I realize that the reasons she gave me for wanting out are bogus - it is that she became a different person and her priorities changed. I was unhappy with the relationship.

[The Bozz]

I feel good again. My mindset is changing. I'm beginning to get her off the pedestal and I'm beginning to heal or if not heal, at least move into the next stage of grief: Anger and/or acceptance. I realized last night that I was also falling out of love with my ex and her sudden changes in behavior when she went to law school. I realize that the reasons she gave me for wanting out are bogus - it is that she became a different person and her priorities changed. I was unhappy with the relationship.

 

I can totally relate, that sounds just like me. Even law school was a factor in our breakup.

[bw92116]

My heart is filled with sorrow, but otherwise I'm feeling great!

[sb8005]

My heart is filled with sorrow, but otherwise I'm feeling great!

 

I feel tormented and tired and a little dizzy from some anxiety and obsessive thinking, but otherwise I'm feeling splendid!

 

hahahaha love it, thanks for the laugh bw

[MasterPo]

Been sleeping a LOT!!

Last night i went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 9am this morning. I really must have needed it. And i ate a full meal in what felt like weeks, even though it was only several days.

I'm obviously feeling very low and depressed, because i've stopped cleaning the apartment and eating properly. I need to address this issue.

I went through a crying phaze recently, and i seem to have dried up a bit now. So i hope this phase is ending and i can start moving out of it.

 

I have had no contact from him in over 2 months. He is still with his girlfriend i presume so i am sure he doesn't think of me at all. So i need to try and pull myself out of this rut i'm in.

 

Argh.

Limiya

 

This is a good sign. Sleep and slob phase. It will pass but a good sign. This is where you throw a little more effort into PT and "the plan"., otherwise it can be a very hard place to get out of. Depression versus endorphins. Good luck!

[Anna3]

I do feel a bit better today. I still wake up thinking about him, but I'm then annoyed with myself. I guess this is better than waking up thinking of him and then just being sad.

 

I'm fighting myself between being impatient to just find someone new and work on myself. I would think if someone came along right now, I'd be such a wreck it wouldn't work out anyway. I think one of the reasons my ex liked me so much was because he thought I had a cool job. Now that I've found more fulfilling work from home and concentrate on other things as well, I don't fit in to his picture of happiness.

 

It's true, there was a lot we were not on the same page about, but my mind has always found the positive.

 

I also am a bit worried- when I meet people- usually when I'm out with friends, I'm having such a good time, full of energy and probably really charming, but then when they get to know me and see that I'm a normal person, with normal worries and normal issues, they think i'm really boring.

A part of me thinks I will then be a disappointment to anyone. It's almost like they get really excited about me, and then I end up being such a let down, because I can't be cool, fun and cute 24 hours a day. I have a weird family, I let the house get messy sometimes, I'm not a great cook.

 

Do I warn someone that i'm not that great? Or just let it all unfold again, and hope that someone can accept me for my weaknesses? These are the things i think about sometimes.

 

Also, my ex sometimes texts me and wants to get a beer. Of course I jump at the chance, but then have to hear how great he is doing, how awesome he is getting at guitar and how he is having fun dating his new girlfriend. I put up a happy front, but then go home and have either weird nightmares or end up getting all depressed. I guess i should cut the cord at some point. It's hard since I mostly hung out with him for 4 years. I also plummet into slow spiral of low self esteem again.

 

If I had something I was more excited about then him, I'd be ok. But all my interests seem boring right now, so that's why I get fixated on him, or finding someone new right now.

 

I guess the only answer is to be patient.

[Anna3]

Holidays are going to be SO hard!

[Limiya]

This is a good sign. Sleep and slob phase. It will pass but a good sign. This is where you throw a little more effort into PT and "the plan"., otherwise it can be a very hard place to get out of. Depression versus endorphins. Good luck!

 

Thanks MasterPo.

What is PT??

Yeah i need to start the endorphins up again. Had a friend come over tonight and watched a film. That was nice.

I also had a great chat with my older brother. I told him one or two things i never told him about my relationship with my ex and he freaked out so much. He was so horrified he was angry with ME!

I totally agreed with him and he is totally right that i need to work on my self esteem and look at the relationship for what it was. It wasn't real. He said in real relationships, you do NOT disrespect your partner in the way he did with me throughout. It should not be so one sided. He was really quite angry. It helped shake me up a bit, and look at things from an OUTSIDE perspective.

Talking in more logical sense with someone about things does help.

 

I'm off to bed now, but i wanted to reply to your post as i appreciate your kindness.

 

Limiya

[bw92116]

I was sad and cried a little earlier today, but now I just feel bitter.

[MasterPo]

What is PT??

I'm off to bed now, but i wanted to reply to your post as i appreciate your kindness.

 

Limiya

 

PT, US military slang for "physical training", sorry I get to responding and forget not everybody knows. lol

 

You are welcome, sometimes you need peeps in your corner and even a cyber presence means everything when you deal with the broken heart. I was greeted warmly and ***** slapped (in a nice way) back to my senses when I came aboard and I feel that I need to give back until I feel its paid in full. Alpha male thing!

 

'night..