Tipu Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 Hi all, 4 years of ralationship. Broke up 9 months ago. Maintaing NC for 8 months. She got married 4 months after she broke up. I have access to my ex's email account. Personally, I do not want to check her email but it appears she did not change her email password. I wish I could tell her to change her email pass. I am maintaining NC for more than 8 months but still I am not over her. I know she got married four months after we broke up (she broke up because her parents could not accept my family). Sometimes I miss her so much that I check her email to see what she is up to. You know what, checking her email and talking to her over the phone is almost the same thing. It harts so much and this is one reason I do not check her email. I know our path will never cross again. But I simply can not get over her. I wonder how much long I have to live like this??? Link to comment
Altoidbox Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 Of course it is wrong to be checking her e-mail. Would you want her to be checking your mail without your knowledge? Besides, if she ever does find out that you have been checking her e-mail, it may dampen your hopes of ever getting her back. Link to comment
chanceit Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 it would be wrong - its an invasion of privacy for a start.... Link to comment
dizzymeg Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 I don't think you should check her email. Thats pretty wrong. I think you've got to get over her. She's married now. Let her be. Checking her email is kindof cutting corners on NC. It won't help you get over her, it will just make it worse for you. Get on with your life, she has! Link to comment
Meow18 Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 Checking her email is invading her privacy. You wouldn't appreciate it if you found out someone was looking at your emails. Its her privacy. If emails were meant for everyone to look at, then there wouldn't be a need for passwords. Its also doing you no good. You will not get over her if you are looking at her emails. You will find out things that you won't want to know, and that will just make things harder for you. How are you supposed to try to stop thinking about her if you are still looking at her emails? She is not your girlfriend anymore. She obviously has moved on. You need to also. If you just put effort into it, you will be able to. Next time you are tempted to check her email, then stop yourself by doing something else. As long as you try to get over her, you eventually will. Its hard, I know it is, but its possible. Stop checking her email, its not respectful of her privacy & its doing you no good. Link to comment
era Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 Oh, thank goodness I don't know my ex's password - I'd be in there constantly checking his email. Link to comment
JenniferAZ19 Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 I once had an ex's e-mail still and I ended up checking his mail after we broke up, because I suspected the reason we broke up was for another girl, actually one he worked with... sure enough I checked it and he ended up telling this girl he loved her a week after we went out. So, sometimes it's alright... but yeah It's still an invasin of privacy. I think once the right girl comes around, she will be a very distant memory, simply because once you meet the "one" you think of no one else but them and other relationships turn into learning experiences. I for one don't feel bad about checking my ex's e-mail. I felt bad for the troll he went out with though. Link to comment
Amethyst Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 Definitely wrong! But, you already know that, don't you? (Otherwise, you wouldn't feel the need to ask the question.) Link to comment
spiderman_56 Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 what the ^&*^&^ ?!?! .. are you that screwed up ...? man get urself a hooker , get another girl ... i mean ..do smth instead of whinning about that girl .. she got maried after 4 months ?!? .. what the hell ..the girl never really LOVED u , i mean real love .. do urself a favor and enjoy meeting girls and all the xtra that comes with it .. Link to comment
JenniferAZ19 Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 Spidey, I believe he cared for this girl, and that's why it's hard for him to stop thinking about her. You do know what careing means, right? I mean, if there were no feelings involved then he wouldn't be on here asking this question. I do agree with you about the whole getting married 4 months after breakup thing. That's just wrong of her. How could you marry so quick? I think that you (Tipu) should go out and mingle. You could meet the girl of your dreams! I would hope though, that you don't go "doing the deed" with just anyone though... diseases...eiw. Link to comment
altoids144 Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 After I read this post... i tried to check my ex's e-mail since I know she uses this one password for everything. It worked.. and i feel really bad now. It's totally wrong but it's so tempting. I just wanted to see if it worked... but then i ended up looking at who she's been sending e-mails to. Not good.... Link to comment
lonelynshy Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 I think each time you feel the urge to check her email, count to 10 and force yourself to do something else. It will gradually fade over time. Link to comment
janaka Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 I think you don't need to feel guilty for having checked your ex's emails. I discovered the infidelity of my ex gf by this way. Otherwise, I would've never known it. She had been cheating on me with her co-worker for seven months. Link to comment
Amethyst Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 Janaka, two wrongs don't make a right. Link to comment
lonelynshy Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 Amethyst, it's not about revenge. It's just about discovering that his partner was cheating on him. I don't think this would apply in the case of the original poster, since she's already his ex. And I think it's not a good idea to do it once you know the truth. If I had a girlfriend and I was cheating on her and she snooped through my email, sure I would be angry but actually I should be the one feeling guilty, not her. Link to comment
Amethyst Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 Amethyst, it's not about revenge. It's just about discovering that his partner was cheating on him. I know, but janaka said there was no need to feel guilty for doing it. I disagree. Even if you *were* to find out something like that, invading someone else's privacy is *still* wrong. Janaka's girlfriend's unfaithfulness is no excuse for his invading her privacy. One does not negate the other, so two wrongs do not make a right. *That* is what I meant. Link to comment
chai714 Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 If you REALLY want to stop checking her email, send out a mass email to everyone on your mailing list (including hers) encouraging them to change their passwords. You can even tell them that certain users @link removed (the email she uses) have recently been hacked, and that changing their password can act as an easy safeguard against hackers. One quick note . . why would you bother checking her email if she's married? How are you benefiting from this? Just ask yourself that question, in a mirror .. . you'll find that THERE IS NO BENEFIT. Link to comment
xbox_modding_freak Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 # STOP IT NOW! I have knowledge of hacking but one thing i wil not sink low as is email hacking Otherwise i will personally nuke your PC myself....phpBB boards are quite easily comprimised -XmF Link to comment
EclipseXkim621 Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 Temptation...sucks doesnt it but...its not the ''right'' thing to do..thats for sure..my ex did that when wewere dating and it was the ending relationship for it...Email these days...is like...different. Theres a lot of privacy involved..so more so-invasion or it-. Link to comment
Foz Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 well ive done it and i found out things that were not nice but it made me look at my ex in a different way and i certainly dont have him on the pedestal he was on. But what i found out was really hurtful.. Link to comment
danimal77 Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 Whatever you do, DO NOT CHECK HER MAIL. It is the worst thing you can do my friend. Trust me. It will make you crazy (I know). I did it for almost a full year!!!!!!! Let things happen naturally. You do not need to know what you are not meant to know. It's her privacy. Keep it that way. You will become obessed over it and will never be able to be natural around her, ever again. Take it from me. When I used to read her emails and correspondences to other guys, when we were broken up, I couldn't sleep that night and I couldn't function the next day. Leave it alone. Be strong enough NOT to check. Don't even tell her. I am going cold turkey now. We are broken up again and I could gain access if I wanted to and could delete emails and spy and do all sorts of manipulative stuff, to make her come back to me, but it's not me she'll come back to. It's just a game. Leave it alone and just stay away from her email, but not necessarily her. Peace, Dan Link to comment
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