Short Men at a Disadvantage in Romance

[Thorshammer]

I've done that since I started walking.

 

 

 

I'm not big on direct eye contact. It generally makes me start smiling like an idiot.

 

 

 

I slouch.

 

 

 

I always talk low.

 

Well, its only important to change if it matters to you. I want to project myself in a stronger stance (because i believe thats who i am), no different than when you are in a job interview. It starts with positive self-encouragement, and if successful- your body should follow suit.

[Blue Spiral]

I've heard very few women say that height doesn't matter to them. For every one that has said that, I've come accross ten 5'3-or-smaller women who refuse to date guys under six feet. And none of the women that said that have been seriously involved with a guy shorter than them; of the ones that ended up in LTRs, all ended up with men significantly taller than them.

 

On ENA, where we all admit to struggling with things, I'm sure more women would be open to it. But in offline life, I've literally never come accross it with any of the women I was involved with (or wanted to be involved with). I think it's just a nice and socially-conscious thing to say. "Oh, I'd absolutely consider going out with a ______ guy!" Except they never actually do, they're just trying to avoid looking mean and/or avoid shattering someone's hopes.

 

I'm not going to claim that I'm so awesome and my height is my only disadvantage. I have numerous disadvantages, and it's usually impossible to tell which ones are killing my chances with a certain woman. But I know for a fact that many women never give a guy a chance because of his height, without even getting to know him. It used to annoy me...but the truth is, I'm just as superficial. I don't feel as bad when I judge women for certain things, now, since I've been on the receiving end of it myself.

[bulletproof]

From your prior posts, it seems you're unemployed, in debt, living with your parents, have health issues, and suffer from a very negative mindset in general. Do you think maybe any of those things might play a part in your struggles to find a date?

 

My brother is 5'4" and has never had a problem dating and attracting women. He learned early on to compensate- he is very funny, social, and knows how to make people comfortable. I agree with those saying that some women think they need a taller guy, but chances are if those same women had gotten to know those guys, they may well have dated them. That is why posters constantly encourage those who have trouble dating to get engaged in activities that will put them in consistent, direct contact with those they want to date.

[lalalollipops]

Some players are ugly and short. '__'

 

Seriously, girls aren't particularly shallow, it's all about a self assured personality and assertiveness.

 

I've liked a couple of guys my height and even shorter. They had SWAG.

[lalalollipops]

If you got the humour, confidence and light heartedness down pat... You can do alot. Hell I see that around me.

Yeah height might be a disadvantage in the first impression stages (first few seconds-a min) but if you got confidence and a really great personality... Girls WILL be attracted.

[orange1234]

I agree with others. Short height certainly is a disadvantage in that if there were two guys who had the exact same perfect character and one was taller than the other, then the taller would attract more women. But in reality, no one has the exact same character. Height is something that can be compensated with great character.

 

I admit I used to think short men were not worth dating.

 

But that was up until I met this guy I'm currently head over heels! He has shown me how insignificant height is.

[BrianH46]

I have to agree with blue spiral on this one, I would like to believe that all the women I've dated are very mature and intelligent however when I ask them would you have given me a chance had I been shorter then you the answer were all the same: no. I'm short myself 5'6 but the fact that women discriminate and my height being below average never really bothered me, never stopped me from getting the girl that I wanted.

[Generation]

I've heard very few women say that height doesn't matter to them. For every one that has said that, I've come accross ten 5'3-or-smaller women who refuse to date guys under six feet. And none of the women that said that have been seriously involved with a guy shorter than them; of the ones that ended up in LTRs, all ended up with men significantly taller than them.

 

Yeah, those women exist, and in quite large numbers too. They're all the same though to some degree sharing the same qualities. Also some of them will only date you if you're X ethnicity as well because they think their children will be more beautiful with your genes. I see this type often. They're more interested in the idea of creating the perfect little baby and how others will perceive them. It's like a status symbol. Some people are more interested in status and how much better off they are than their friends and everyone else. On the other hand, the men they date probably don't give a damn but if they did, they wouldn't be dating those trashy women, she'd have to be 5'9" for one.

 

Your short friend most likely has great social skils. And probably has good looks.

 

Money and being athletic add to that.

 

The best social skills I've ever seen out of anyone IRL. I guess that comes with years of experience working at nightclubs. I've heard similar things from other friends who've worked at bars and nightclubs, they really get to improve their social skills and have a strong confidence, and are able to get women anywhere, not just at the bars or nightclubs. I'm just starting to work at nightclubs so I'm gonna see what I can learn as well. I'm one of the shortest bouncers I know.

The only reason right now that I can think of to be insecure about my own height is it opens the door to more violence because I'm an easier target, so I would probably have to deal with more violent people than if I were taller and bigger cause then they'd probably back off from the gentle giant. It's easier to pick on someone short.

[Coconut Twin]

Personally I don't mind a short man. One of my ex's was short..well compared to my height, he was around 5ft6-7" and yes he had a lot going for him - worked in film (animatronics), had charisma, ridiulously witty and funny, handsome, fit, broad musical tastes. He had everything. Didn't even notice his height and I was 2 inches taller than him and trust me it was noticeable when I wore heels, but his confidence overall was second to none. You'd think he's 6 ft 3 and above the way he carried himself.

 

Peter Dinklage - hubba hubba - seriously! link removed

[jonny15]

The best social skills I've ever seen out of anyone IRL. I guess that comes with years of experience working at nightclubs. I've heard similar things from other friends who've worked at bars and nightclubs, they really get to improve their social skills and have a strong confidence, and are able to get women anywhere,

 

I'd rather shoot myself in the face than work at a nightclub or bar. Ewwww.

 

I'm just starting to work at nightclubs so I'm gonna see what I can learn as well. I'm one of the shortest bouncers I know.

 

Your a bouncer? You must either be a big guy, or leathal with the kickboxing or somethin.

[Thorshammer]

When i used to work in selling computers, i was pretty suave with the ladies at 5'6'', and some goof was always getting them behind my back.. and he was 5'4'' (he had a twin at the same height, and he never had a girlfriend... figure that out!!!- obviously it takes your persona and a set of skills). The other suave guy was taller around 5'9'' but he looked funny. Then the physically handsome guys were complete babies and was always getting their toes stomped on, they were so delicate that i would fan them and they would fall over. They would date someone in the store, the woman would break up with them, and then they would cling and cry.

 

Its a mad world out there. I always tell my friends who have problems getting dates... "be a wolf".

[drummergirl]

My first boyfriend was shorter than me by an inch or two. I really loved him and he broke my heart. But he had no problems dating after that, he even ended up going out with this really tall hot chick a few years later.

[MarnDark]

My exes were very attractive and were being surrounded by guys after we broke up. I'm 5'4".

 

Don't let that height thing get you down. No one is perfect and everyone has flaws. Met a guy yesterday that was tall and had a very odd personality, probably doesn't get much ladies. The best thing you can do is exude confidence, I think.

[Natasha24]

I agree with pretty much everyone else - it's not a big deal, unless you make it a big deal.

 

The only advice I can give it, don't have a chip on your shoulder about it. I dated a short guy (5'4") and I had no problem with it, but he constantly made semi-serious jokes about how he never got girls because of his height. Don't try to overcompensate either, saying things like "I may be short, but I'm good in bed/I have money/I'm a really funny guy". I found it very annoying, as if he was fishing for me to say "Nah, you're not short" or something. Just be yourself and chances are, she won't care how tall you are.

[epsilon2x]

Everybody has disadvantages. I'm 6'5" with dark features. I also live in the gym. Sometimes girls are mean to me because they think they're putting me in my place or something. I was in a wedding the other day and asked my friend's (the groom) cousin to dance. She gave me a really mean look and said "no". I laughed it off and said 'whoaa, I meant it in a completely platonic way" and her response was "What? Not used to taking rejections?"

 

What I'm saying is, stereotypes are going to be there whether you're short, tall, fat, skinny, muscular, etc. You just have to keep moving forward and not wallow in it.

[iwishiknew]

5'7" is basically average height. I don't think there is any denying that being short is a disadvantage. Most women are reluctant to date someone shorter than them. If you're 5'2", you already are already out of the game with over half the female population. That being said, you can't change your height; your only chance to improve your dating prospects is change the things you can control.

 

Yes, I know being 5'2, I'm already out of the game with half of the female population. Yes, I can change my height! It is called limb lengthing and I might qualify for it because I was born with MHE.

 

 

[Ms Darcy]

From your prior posts, it seems you're unemployed, in debt, living with your parents, have health issues, and suffer from a very negative mindset in general. Do you think maybe any of those things might play a part in your struggles to find a date?

 

My brother is 5'4" and has never had a problem dating and attracting women. He learned early on to compensate- he is very funny, social, and knows how to make people comfortable. I agree with those saying that some women think they need a taller guy, but chances are if those same women had gotten to know those guys, they may well have dated them. That is why posters constantly encourage those who have trouble dating to get engaged in activities that will put them in consistent, direct contact with those they want to date.

 

If you are unemployed, in debt, living with your parents, have health issues, have a negative mindset, and are very short, then YES no woman will want to date you. Fix the other stuff - employment, debt, mindset, living situation - and you will find a woman.

 

You need to clean up your mindset and stop being so negative.

[Lost in Thought]

If you are unemployed, in debt, living with your parents, have health issues, have a negative mindset, and very short, then YES no woman will want to date you. Fix the other stuff - employment, debt, mindset, living situation - and you will find a woman.

 

You need to clean up your mindset and stop being so negative.

 

OP, I agree with her comments. Don't go looking for love. You have the odds stacked against you at the momemnt. Fix your other problems the best you can. You are wasting your time trying now. Try later.

 

Otherwise I suggest you get an escort. I have a few shy virgin friends and I hate to say it, I have had enough with their negative attitudes. I'm seriously going to tell them to forget trying if they won't make the effort and just seek sex workers. I hate lazy guys who won't try to improve themselves.

[Slimpee]

Maybe it's your attitude as much as your height. I mean yeah, you're short for a guy but if you make it the focal point of your self-esteem, it'll show as a lack of confidence. A dude at my school is 5'2"-5'4" and a real piece of work but he has a very cute, very smart gf. He pursued and got her.

 

You can't change your height but you can stop letting it hold you back.

[Blue92]

Perhaps, height is not the issue here. Maybe it is your insecurities about your height and women are picking up on that. Be confident about every aspect of yourself when you go out on a date. Joke around about how tall you are or don't even bring it up at all and I'm sure women will look at you in a new light! If height doesn't get you down, women will respect your confidence and be more attracted to you.

[Heather Dawn]

I'm 5'9" and my boyfriend is 5'11". I've never dated short guys, but that's a personal preference. My mom is 5'5" and her husband is 5'7", so I'd suggest sticking to shorter women who are less likely to see your height as an issue.

[jonny15]

so I'd suggest sticking to shorter women who are less likely to see your height as an issue.

 

That isn't exactly easy when women that height seem to want guys that are several inches taller than them to make up for their own lack of height.

[Blue Spiral]

That isn't exactly easy when women that height seem to want guys that are several inches taller than them to make up for their own lack of height.

 

You'd be amazed at how many profiles I've seen where 5'3-or-less women act insulted that a man under six feet would even think of speaking to them.

[Heather Dawn]

You'd be amazed at how many profiles I've seen where 5'3-or-less women act insulted that a man under six feet would even think of speaking to them.

 

Weird.

[kate150]

I'm 5'2" and the guy I am dating is about the same height, maybe a bit less. Its hard for me to tell. But I don't care. I actually think its cool to be able to look him in the eye without straining my neck!