julian19 Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Please help.... Im tired of her playing games with my head!! Shes making me jealous all the time and she response late to my text!! As if shes playing with me!! Im tired of it!! Im starting to dislike her now because i can clearly see that this is not the same person that i dated before!! I hide my phone because i am so pissed off right now and i dont wanna end up harrasing her again and wasting 3 months of nc!! Shes just doing too much!!! I cant take it anymore!!! Shes always playing games with me!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please calm me down... Im so tired... Im so tired of her!!!! Why do i still love her after all??? Link to comment
julian19 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Share Posted June 2, 2012 im tired! im tired of being an option........ im tired,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, pls help.............. Link to comment
Kplum92 Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Julian.... She is not worth it. You need to keep strong through this. If she respected you enough to leave you alone and let you heal and not mess with your head especially after 3 months, then there may be a chance later on to reconcile...? I am no expert at all and am probably not in a position to give the best advice. But the way I see it, there are 2 things that you could do here... 1. Confront her. Tell her how you feel. Tell her she is being unfair and not respecting you by playing these games. 2. Ignore it. Don't let it get to you. Hiding your phone is a good idea... Could you block her number maybe? Don't give her the satisfaction of getting wound up by her actions. Your feelings are not going to change in an instant. Especially if you are getting wound up. Again, don't give her that satisfaction. I hope everything works out for you in the end. You are having a rough time right now. Go out and do something, get your mind off it. Link to comment
Kplum92 Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Try and calm down a bit. Take a few deep breaths. Get a cup of tea. Put the telly on. Stressing out is not going to help you. I don't want you to break down right now. Please keep strong and try and chill out a bit. I understand that emotion just suddenly hits you in the face sometimes, but we have to try and control it. I feel your anger and frustration right now. I hope you are okay. Don't do anything rash. She is testing you, and you don't need that BS during this emotional roller-coaster..... Link to comment
julian19 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Share Posted June 2, 2012 PLS HELP ME... she texted me saying she'll text me later because shes having a phone conversation with someone.. i know that someone was the guy that she like that she keeps rubbing on my face............... HELP... I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE S SO GOOD IN PLAYING GAMES>>> EVEN BEFORE>>> SHE HASNT CHANGE!!!!! Link to comment
julian19 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Share Posted June 2, 2012 do you know the feeling of being an option.................... it hurts............ because shes my priority,,, and now,.. shes treating me an option that she is giving more time to somebody else than me........ I DONT WANT HER ANYMORE!!! IM TIRED OF HER!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
jimmyh Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 PLS HELP ME... she texted me saying she'll text me later because shes having a phone conversation with someone.. i know that someone was the guy that she like that she keeps rubbing on my face............... HELP... I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE S SO GOOD IN PLAYING GAMES>>> EVEN BEFORE>>> SHE HASNT CHANGE!!!!! You know what to do? Give her a better game. Like 6 more months of NC. Take that, lady! Turn off your phone, block her ID, email, everything. Game is on! It's the silent game! Aren't you just as curious if she comes to you in 6 months begging for forgiveness? And if she does, will you really take someone like that? No self respect at all? Chasing a guy who's honestly trying to let go for 3 months? Can she go six more? Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 OK, simple principle... don't go to the source of your pain expecting relief! She is causing you a lot of pain via this breakup and not treating you well, so why do you keep interacting with her and expecting her to make you feel better? She won't! If you want the pain to stop, you are going to have to leave her alone and stop interacting with her. It will be tough at first, but it is better than constantly being rejected and toyed with. It is foolish to make her a priority when she's not making you one. If she changes her mind she has your number. But meanwhile, stop texting and calling her and pull away and start thinking about yourself and healing and getting over this rather than letting her torture you forever. Get yourself out of harm's way, and you'll feel better. You can't heal if you're allowing yourself to get sucked into the torture of her everyday. Link to comment
julian19 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Share Posted June 2, 2012 I already went nc for 3 months.. She initiated contact with me last week and we got along pretty well.. But here shes making me hurt again.. Playing games with my head and making me jealous by telling me shes talking to someone!!! And the worst is... At this moment whil eim typing this... Shes there talking with that guy and trying to rub it on my face!!!!!!!!! Im so hurt................................. I want to die * * * * !!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
jimmyh Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 I Playing games with my head That is you, not her. You let her do it to you and you respond and she's doing it more, and more until you can't stand the pressure and call. Then she gets her relief and you get more pressure. And NC again and o and on. At some point you break and do something stupid. Like crawling on your knees begging her. Seriously, talk to your friends and family. You need your pride back. How is this NC if she can talk to you? How come you can't avoid her like black plague? Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 She may not be trying to rub it in your face... she may after 3 months just be trying to be friends... you're obviously still seeing her as a romance when she is probably at this point just seeing you as a friend. She may also be telling you she is talking to someone so that you won't get the wrong idea and start thinking a romance will start up again if you talk to her... Just don't stay in contact with her. Lots of exes would be happy to be friends and keep checking back every few months to see if you're 'ready' yet to be just friends. What you need to do is till her you don't want to hear from her unless she is thinking about getting back together with you... that you don't want to be 'just friends'. Link to comment
italiannmf24 Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 You still "love" her because she's being a challenge to you - something you need to work for but still have yet to acquire. When you react to her mind games and allow her to see that you're affected by her mysterious influence, you're devaluing yourself while unintentionally handing her all the power. She sees that you're struggling, you know that much, but to what extent are you willing to let her walk all over you? Even after the months have passed, you've progressed a little more, and have gotten ahold of yourself, you'll see how ridiculous your actions were. You're pushing her away by doing the very thing that you feel will get her back - pursuing. Simply remove yourself from the situation, understand how to maintain self-control, and believe that you can get through this. I implore you to, instead of trying to "win" her back by expressing how much you care for her, stop trying to gain her attention and focus your energy on yourself. When you walk away from a problem (your ex), things tend figure themselves out over time. Why actively pursue someone that's not interested in your time anyway? I don't see the logic in that. Link to comment
jimmyc Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Just went through the same thing brother.. I made the realisation that she is not worth it... as much as you don't want to hear it there's a much better person out there that suits you alot more and wouldn't leave you then start playing mind games, just call one of your closest friends or family and tell them everything on your mind you'll feel alot better if not write it all down.. telling her how you feel gives her the ultimate power Link to comment
ken0001 Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Sometimes, the best answer is just easy to do. We're just the ones who are complicating things. I know for a fact that you still love this girl. But, if you let her play you from time to time, you'd always be at the losing end. Which reminds me of this quote that my mom gave me... "If you're the source of my demise or sin, I'd strike you down, right here, right now." SHE is the source of your downfall. So what you should do is totally ignore EVERY SINGLE THING THAT SHE SAYS AND DOES AND WILL SAY AND WILL DO. Hang in there bro. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 I feel your pain, bro. Get mean with her. Get mad. GET REALLY FREAKING MAD. Tell her to leave you alone. Look at what she's doing to you. You deserve better than this. Respond with something like this: You're really annoying me. Leave me alone. I will let you know when I'm ready for contact again. Link to comment
julian19 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Share Posted June 2, 2012 im so hurt,,,,,,,,, oh my god.. Link to comment
Furbys Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 This is not going to get any better. You have done 3 months NC im sure you can do NC again. If you continue to have contact then you will carry on feeling like this. Do yourself a favour and stop all contact, she doesnt want to be more than friends with you. Link to comment
aeubanks72 Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 I completely understand what you are talking about,it is cruel and mean for your ex to play these types of games.Ive been broke up since Jan.and he made it clear never to contact him.Which I didnt.Then in April after 3months NC HE broke contact over a post I posted on facebook, and he's played mind games ever since.Ive even come right out and told him that if he didnt want to talk to me,then that would be fine.I'd get over it.Because even though he was contacting me it was cold and distant.and I felt that he was only talking to me to either keep me on a string so he thinks that if Im talking to him then Im not doing anything else,I dunno.I knew that he never used to be like that.Answer emails with one words,and it was cold to me.As much as I love him and want him back,I felt that it wasnt fair of him or right to keep me around just to play with my feelings.So yesterday I wrote him telling him that I dont know what kind of game he's playing but Im not playing this crap.I said I feel like Im not worth your time because of the distance in your words,so I will no longer be in contact,because it is hurting me more this way,and I want to be able to move past this and I cant because of the type of communication.Ive tried bieng nice and kind but its getting ridiculous.If you feel in the future that you can speak to me like an adult and as a person then feel free,you know how to reach me.Till then please dont contact me anymore.Thank you. That is what you should do,you can only take so much,all it does it hurt you over and over and its not worth it.If they really cared,no matter what they wouldnt treat us that way.I can see ex's bieng angry at first maybe first couple months,but c'mon 3months and over they wanna act like children?? You deserve way better then that,we all do.It doesnt matter what the dumpee has done,we are still human biengs and should be treated with the same amount of respect as they expect given to them.Im not sure what made ya'll break up,with me I became too needy and clingy and from past abusive relationships i looked in his phone and read a txt.I dont deserve to be treated like that.and I let him know.That is exactly what you need to do.Stand your ground,It hurt like heck when I did it,but I love myself more and I value myself more.IF she does care then she will come to realize that.But she has to know YOU mean business. Link to comment
Bunney Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 She is a selfish, immature brat who gets a kick out of letting you (and probably everyone else) know how much she is wanted/admired by all kinds of different guys. Keep in mind that may only be an image she wants to portray though- she may have been making things up, just like you did. Either way, totally immature and not even worth a minute of your time. You should respect yourself enough to put an end to this non-sense and cut all ties. And no, I dont think you're even an 'option' to her - all you are to her is an ego boost.. Link to comment
jimmyh Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Julian, if you don't want to take advise, which is quite useful, if you ask me, why don't you focus on that? Why don't you want to take advise? Are you afraid other people might be right? Would you like to think about it at least? Or post it at your convenience? Maybe the ex is not the main problem. Maybe she picks up on your stubbornness and uses it against you. What do you think? Link to comment
italiannmf24 Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 im so hurt,,,,,,,,, oh my god.. Stop lying in self-pity. It's a waste of energy AND makes you look pathetic. Control yourself. Link to comment
julian19 Posted June 3, 2012 Author Share Posted June 3, 2012 OUR FINAL CONVERSATION So we talked last night. after she finished talking to that guy, she replied me and said, "what are you talking about, it was just my friend" then i relied her, "i dont want to disturb, sorry" then she texted "alright" and so i exploded in anger and confronted her what is her problem?? why is she playing games with me? did she contact me again after 3 months to hurt me again? and then.. she told me that shes not playing games with me. its just because i told her that i went on a date with someone before and hold hands and hug with some other girls while we didnt have contact.. i asked her if she's JEALOUS and if thats the reason why shes playing games with my head and she said NO. She called me and when she heard my voice crying, she felt bad and couldnt take it anymore.. she apologized and calmed me down.. i asked her what am I in her life? am i still important to her? or if she still loves me? and in our conversation, i finally heard everything that i want hear from her before. the closure. So she said that she still loves me,, but not the same way as before anymore.. she said she still thinks about me and cares about me.. but the long distance relationship is impossible. she said if we live in the same city, she would choose me.. i asked her if shes gonna find someone else.. she said no, because im on her mind all the time.. and that im still her first and greatest love ever.. she said sorry for all the bad things she did to me before. she told me that she never want to hurt me again.. and now that shes hurting me again, she really hate herself now. because she made a promise to herself during 3 months NC that, if ever she meet or talk to me again, she will never hurt me again.. BUT HERE.. she just did.. and shes denying that she playing games with me.. its pretty obvious because she mentioned about me telling her that i had casual dates with someone else.. and it sounds like shes revenging., i know her.. she always do that mind games even before.. she told me that i should not love her anymore because she hurt me... and that i am so stupid for loving her still.. IT hurts to hear it from her... so i said ok, lets cut all contact. i want dignity left to be preserved.. she said no.. she said she cant separate,, she doesnt want me to leave her like this,, she dont know why.. i said its for the best.. but she keeps on stoping me from doing it.. until finally,, she agreed,, "if ur really hurt,, ok.. i am sorry.." then i cut all contact.. block her on facebook and on my phone.... did i make the right decision..? or should i just stayed in her life... i miss her.,. and i love her dearly... Link to comment
julian19 Posted June 3, 2012 Author Share Posted June 3, 2012 Julian, if you don't want to take advise, which is quite useful, if you ask me, why don't you focus on that? Why don't you want to take advise? Are you afraid other people might be right? Would you like to think about it at least? Or post it at your convenience? Maybe the ex is not the main problem. Maybe she picks up on your stubbornness and uses it against you. What do you think? I took your advice guys... i cut all ties... i dont know,, i felt relief inside and a mixed hesitation with my decision. BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH... Link to comment
Heidern Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 Made the same mistakes you made, here's my advice to you: stay away from her. Disappear. Don't give her any reasons either. Link to comment
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