deedee77 Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 I came out a four year relationship at the end of last year with an emotionally abusive man. He was 34 and me 23. When we eventually split up after a very up and down, push and pull relationship it was like he could just completely drop me with no feelings at all. He met someone else instantly and the more i spoke to him the more horrible he was to me. I know the fact he was abusive means he cant have loved me anyways but some of the things he said were horrific. How can he be so happy in new relationship already? What I want to know however is do abusers know they are being abusive? Or is it just what they deem to be the normal way to treat people? This guy would put me down, disclude me from anything he went to where his friends and family would be i.e weddings etc. not listen to my opinion, tell me everything i did was wrong even if it wasnt, get angry easily, hid my house keys so i didnt manage to leave house in time to get on same train as him and his friends, would lie to me, belittle me and left me miserable. When I first started going out with him he told me his ex was a nut who went to counseling and then now iv split up with him hes calling me the same. I am angry at myself because when I first got with him a few months in he said 'your nothing without me' and 'are you obsessed with me yet?' I questioned him at time but he brushed it off as a joke and i presumed he was joking considering it was so crazy. Once when I was on his laptop doing uni work i started typing into google and 'how to manipulate and control someone' came up in his searched for items. Again I did question him but he said he had never looked it up and it was soon forgotten. This guy has quite alot of friends although he is not very sociable and quite quiet. Noone else would be able to see him like this which annoys me further as everyone including his new gf must think hes fine. Why do people abuse others? I know he had alot of problems as a child but seriously why do these people do what they are doing, play these ridiculous games? Do they really get something out of completely draining a persons identity? Link to comment
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