Are there good girls that are freaks in bed out there...?

[Jake]

I can't speak from experience but from what I've observed from excessive reading on relationships? Making her comfortable with her body is key.

 

Complimenting her, encouraging her and affirming her qualities as fact will bring her walls down - but don't say anything you don't mean (obviously).

 

I say this because a lot of women know their man finds them attractive but she needs to believe it herself (have it really sink in). Once she believes it and is comfortable with a man in bed..... Watch out.

 

As for what "good girls" are freaks in the bed? My guess is the assertive and feisty ones. But I am biased because my personality is naturally drawn to those kind of women anyway lol!

[greywolf]

What sex issues do I need resolved? "Bad" is just a term chosen by me and a majority of the people understood what I meant.

 

Ahk. I guess I just got confused because you said you wanted her to be "bad" and yet weren't looking for someone kinky, which means she's "bad" just for enjoying sex. Yes, there are a lot of people that call it "bad" but talking about it that way only hurts your chances for finding a girl that is sexually open, because all girls are taught to not be bad.

 

In my experience, guys that were attracted to me because they thought I was a "good girl" have been later intimidated or disgusted by my sexual side, and guys that see how sexual I am from the start, think I'm a skank.

[Jake]

In my experience, guys that were attracted to me because they thought I was a "good girl" have been later intimidated or disgusted by my sexual side, and guys that see how sexual I am from the start, think I'm a skank.

 

Question, why did you date such guys if you were aware they were attracted to you for your good girl behavior without first making sure they'd be okay with your sexual preferences before becoming an official couple?

 

I thought that's what people go on "dates" for (to figure out if they're compatible or not)...... Mind you, I'm not saying to bluntly say what your sexual preferences are like on the first date! But obviously, by the 5 date, one can certainly say the relationship is going somewhere - I would've opened up then, but that's just me.

[capuccino83]

I think it very much depends on the definition of kinky here. If you're looking for a girl that's into hard-core anal.. you're probably not going to have as an easy time finding her at the local church group. But if it's just someone who enjoys sex and doesn't act like a deadfish, then most women should be okay.

 

I wouldn't describe myself as that kinky and rather plain when it comes to my sex life. But from talking to a lot of people, I've realized that my definition of kinky is super extreme.. so I would fit under average preferences, but I would never describe myself as such, because my definition of a super sexualized girl is someone who goes out and enjoys gangbangs with random strangers. Make sense?

[shl025]

Of course there is! I behave well and love being intimate but I keep that to under the sheets or private places.

[piruru]

If you're looking for a girl that's into hard-core anal.. you're probably not going to have as an easy time finding her at the local church group.

 

I'm pretty sure girls into anal can be found at church too.

 

My boyfriend's first impression of me was "innocent" and "prim and proper" lol. Now he thinks I can be quite "wild." I find it funny though because I still think I'm pretty tame.

 

I think if you're a good teacher, any good girl can get taught to be bad. A bad girl, however, usually cannot be reformed.

[doyathink]

Yes to answer your question, but Im asking the same about men. Its just as hard (if not harder) to find a man like this. Seriously....the only ones Ive found that are really good in bed, are just players!

[littleL_RN]

I'm pretty sure girls into anal can be found at church too.

 

My boyfriend's first impression of me was "innocent" and "prim and proper" lol. Now he thinks I can be quite "wild." I find it funny though because I still think I'm pretty tame.

 

I think if you're a good teacher, any good girl can get taught to be bad. A bad girl, however, usually cannot be reformed.

 

 

I agree. I think it's essentially about investing some time and getting comfortable with one another to bring out that wilder side.

 

While I wouldn't say I come off prudish in social situations, I am always pegged as the token sweet, girl-next-door. But I love to be a little naughty in the bedroom.

 

When my boyfriend and I first started having sex, we were being very censored just out of sheer nervousness and gauging each other's likes. Now, it's all about some well-placed dirty talk, a little roughness, etc. Good times

[LostOne01]

Yes there are, and some "players" are not that good in bed as the general cliche makes them out to be. There are many who are great lovers in relationships.

[capuccino83]

I'm pretty sure girls into anal can be found at church too.

 

My boyfriend's first impression of me was "innocent" and "prim and proper" lol. Now he thinks I can be quite "wild." I find it funny though because I still think I'm pretty tame.

 

I think if you're a good teacher, any good girl can get taught to be bad. A bad girl, however, usually cannot be reformed.

 

Yes, of course they can be found in church and everywhere else! But it will probably be less likely for a variety of reasons, everything from being afraid of the new experience to having been taught it's not right. So while it can totally happen, I just think it'll take longer to find such a girl.

[In the Dark]

Yes to answer your question, but Im asking the same about men. Its just as hard (if not harder) to find a man like this. Seriously....the only ones Ive found that are really good in bed, are just players!

 

I don't consider myself a player.

But that's the problem, I do not play the field......at all.

[greywolf]

Question, why did you date such guys if you were aware they were attracted to you for your good girl behavior without first making sure they'd be okay with your sexual preferences before becoming an official couple?

 

I thought that's what people go on "dates" for (to figure out if they're compatible or not)...... Mind you, I'm not saying to bluntly say what your sexual preferences are like on the first date! But obviously, by the 5 date, one can certainly say the relationship is going somewhere - I would've opened up then, but that's just me.

 

I never became an official couple with any of them. In fact, I didn't really date any of them.

[greywolf]

Yes, of course they can be found in church and everywhere else! But it will probably be less likely for a variety of reasons, everything from being afraid of the new experience to having been taught it's not right. So while it can totally happen, I just think it'll take longer to find such a girl.

 

I come from a fairly conservative religion and all the girls at my church are definitely not prudish. Some might even say kinky, but like you, I have a more extreme definition of what kinky is.

[quirky]

It depends what you are after. And what your definition of freak is! I am a reformed bad girl I'd say (was a bit unstable in my younger years but I am now loyal and want a family). I am the passionate, a bit feisty type but look more cute than anything. I've had both situations happen. A really wild guy says he can see through me that I am I kinky..I guess he got disappointed because I need time to relax with sex with a new person. Most guys like me cos I am friendly and cute and then I get disappointed because they are too nice in bed. I have always been scared to show all of my sexual side because most guys I am drawn to are sensitive and not hugely driven by sex. I haven't found that right balance in a man either.

[Fantanos]

Thanks everyone for the replies.

 

Greywolf, you are correct, when I said "bad" I meant kinky... and like someone mentioned everyone will have a different definition to kinky.

 

I am not a super freak in bed, I have my fetishes which I think are kind of common. I guess when I say a "bad" girl in bed I am looking for a girl who will enjoy sex and enjoy pleasing a man. For example my last girlfriend would give me oral but she didn't enjoy it and seemed like it really didn't matter what I enjoyed... it became a chore and this was awful for me because oral is my biggest turn on. So I had an awful time enjoying it knowing she wasn't into it. I would like a girl who enjoys seeing her man being pleased... and I will do the same for her. I would like a girl who will eventually try some new things if they are a turn on to me.. I would do the same. Normal sex fetishes, not swingers or anything like that.

 

I am guess I am just hoping the girls that don't give in to sex quickly, dress a little more conservative and don't jump on every guy are a little naughty in bed... because this is the girl I am attracted to for a relationship.

 

Does that make sense?

[timlondon]

Talking about "good" and "bad" women means you have a bit of a link removed

 

Anyway regardless of that I've found that, in general, women are much better in bed now I / they are in our 30s than when we were younger - and much kinkier and more experimental. I guess it takes time and practice to work out what you like and what pleases other people.

 

It's also kinda funny how much variation there is in exactly what women find most effective - but they often seem to think it's obvious what you should be doing. Communication is the key...

[In the Dark]

It depends what you are after. And what your definition of freak is!

 

What is your definition OP?

And for any females who are bold and honest enough to answer this question.

 

I do get called kinky in bed so I guess I am but I do not know if this is considered being a freak in bed.

[greywolf]

 

I am guess I am just hoping the girls that don't give in to sex quickly, dress a little more conservative and don't jump on every guy are a little naughty in bed... because this is the girl I am attracted to for a relationship.

 

Does that make sense?

 

This is what I'm talking about. You don't want a girl to "give in" to sex too quickly, like it's something she should want to avoid?

[Fantanos]

This is what I'm talking about. You don't want a girl to "give in" to sex too quickly, like it's something she should want to avoid?

 

I don't want a girl that wants to sleep with you on the first or second date... well I want her to want to but I don't want her to actually do it, make sense? When I take it slow in a relationship or dating with little intimacy I worry the girl maybe be dull in bed... I think I am scarred from my last relationship in the sex department. I can't date a girl like that again or I will me miserable.

[darlene3]

I don't think you'll have any problem finding a girl like that, most I know like me are conservative and all have a 'wink' in the eye.

[Day_Walker]

This is all going to depend on what your definitions of a "good girl" and "kinky/bad" are. Of course there are going to be girls who will meet your definition of being a good girl and be kinky. How you go about finding girls that meet your criteria is going to be a different story though.

[darlene3]

Maybe the questions isn't so much about good girls and bad girls. Why is it that girls who like sex are 'bad girls'? lol, it sounds silly. Women are women and most women, if we're normal and healthy, like sex...alot. Just like a man. It's natural and it's healthy. Sex is part physical and part mind. To fantasize, role play, whatever is all natural and part of how we're wired. I don't think you need to look so hard, just find a healthy woman and the rest will be natural. Sometimes guys get insecure if a woman thinks another man is attractive or are turned on by something, but it's just a natural reaction.

[digdug]

Maybe the questions isn't so much about good girls and bad girls. Why is it that girls who like sex are 'bad girls'? lol, it sounds silly. Women are women and most women, if we're normal and healthy, like sex...alot. Just like a man. It's natural and it's healthy. Sex is part physical and part mind. To fantasize, role play, whatever is all natural and part of how we're wired. I don't think you need to look so hard, just find a healthy woman and the rest will be natural. Sometimes guys get insecure if a woman thinks another man is attractive or are turned on by something, but it's just a natural reaction.

 

I agree 100% with this. Well said.

 

~dig

[darlene3]

I was also going to add to change where you might be searching for a 'healthy' woman. Gyms, Meetup outings, anything outdoors will most likely land you someone with a healthy mindset. If you're looking in clubs & bars, you might find someone instant, but maybe not the type you're looking for.

[SometimesShy]

I don't want a girl that wants to sleep with you on the first or second date... well I want her to want to but I don't want her to actually do it, make sense?

 

Not to me. Both of my LTRs ( 5 and 7 years ) started with first dates where we ended up doing everything. It wasn't planned that way, but the chemistry we had was unbelievable.

 

With all of my STRs ( less than one year ) we usually waited anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months.

 

So from my experience, waiting doesn't always make for a better relationship.