Please! Why are girls so MEAN to me in REAL life and on HERE?!

[Generation]

and uh.. umm, uhh, um... try to kill this habit of using these as pauses. Everyone does it sometimes, but when you don't do it, people notice "goddamn he's a good speaker." I really notice when someone's good at speech when they don't use those kind of pauses. If you need to collect your thoughts, stop, pause, and refrain from uhhh. I bet when you're in the zone, you don't use umm, but since this is a video of you, by yourself, on camera, it's something you should still aim to get over.

Check this out, he's a gifted speaker, he never uses uh. Also, you might wanna check out some of his coaching stuff, guarantee you'll benefit.

A good exercise for this is to find a friend and do some improv. I bet you like improv. It's a lot of fun. The way I do it with friends is we have a line up, 2 people at a time and it's like a conversation at a bus stop. When someone leaves, someone else will enter, and the person who enters can choose to be anyone - pregnant woman, astronaut, retired teacher, perverted ghost, and it keeps cycling. I found that to be helpful with my communication skills, both on camera and off in a real social setting.

 

 

 

I know what you mean. I like immediate results too. I hate learning curves, and that goes with everything, but that's life. You'll need to lay down a solid foundation, which should become habitual and be your ritual and that will be your recipe for success. Some things will take time before you have your "aha!" moment, which is an epiphany on what you need to do differently. It's like riding a bike, at first you'll wobble, probably need training wheels but once you reach that "aha!" moment, where you're able to balance perfectly, it's a break through.

 

galaxy71 brought up a good point. Dating coaches aren't just about pick up lines, I'll be honest, I don't care much for lines as much as I care for the inner game and the other stuff. The self confidence. The before going out rituals that I do and the way I let my body communicate what I want. Sexual lingo. Doug, I'll suggest that before you get into lines and stuff like that, which I know you'll want to cause it's immediate, work on yourself.

 

I'll give you another reason why you should work out, and this is something I observed in males, but the one who generally has the most physical attributes captures the attention of all the males, and so that puts him at the top. It's true in animals when it comes to alpha males, why not humans? It's true though. I have a group picture at a beach party, with all the guys there being shirtless. The two guys standing next to me are looking at me like a piece of meat while the picture was taken. The responses on facebook when the picture was uploaded, guys were admiring, and women were like "who is that guy?"

So where you're at right now with your body on a scale of 1-10, you're at a 3. You need to be at a 5 to be neutral. 10 if you're Adonis. Aim for a 5 to at least get a standing. Women always have options and they won't settle for any less than they deserve.

 

 

 

I'm usually the guy dancing by himself. And I'll tell you something, if you're lookin' fly that night, you got the moves (and I got the moves), and you're confident about yourself and you don't give a damn, women will actually come and dance with you. It's sooo counter intuitive, but that's my game sometimes. I'm your height by the way, and I had a woman who was 5'9" without heals come and dance with me, and she wasn't bad looking either.

 

A lot of people do dance among themselves, but they don't get anyone come up to them, and the reason is simple. They're just not attracted to them. You can exhibit the same level of confidence and dance moves, but people are guided by their attraction.

 

 

 

Hate to say it, but looks are so important. It's superficial as hell, but it's true and I'd be lying if I said it weren't looks.

 

 

 

Probably cause you're not dieting properly or you're not working intensely enough, or both. And who cares about what the scale says, that's what girls do and they get obsessed with a number, and it's not practical because of the variance between the weight of fat and muscle and so they delude themselves, and it's just not right because they think they're not progressing and then this leads to starvation and obsession over losing bigger numbers.

 

Find someone to train with, someone who knows what they're doing and who can guide you to reach your goals. Maybe join a class.

[greywolf]

Wouldn't it be POINTLESS for me to go to a therapist if all the guy does is give me a pill or something? That's telling me "Yo dude..I can't fix your problem...so I'm hoping this pill can"

 

I don't have CONSTANT depression, anxiety, etc... It comes and go. Am I depressed when I'm watching my favorite band? No! Am I depressed because I'm not going home to have hot sex with a girl? Yes!

 

The therapist will ask me why I'm there: I'll say "Well, I'm a 31 year old virgin with no real life experiences"

 

Then he will ask "Why?" and then I tell him "That's why I'm here! I'm looking for those answers!!?"

 

Dougie, with all the excuses you give, I really think that you don't want to change. I think you are unhappy with your life and want things to be better, but as I said earlier, I think fear holds you back.

[Dougie_D]

Thanks Generation! I've always figured I was around a 2 or 3. Majority of my guy friends are 7 - 10. Even my dad brings up how handsome and attractive they are to me!

 

So you can understand, this affects me emotionally because I know that I'm constantly being OVERSHADOWED. I'm constantly being compared by others around me, PHYSICALLY.

 

Dougie, you've also said though that you have no job and are supported by your parents. Do you also live with them?

 

Nope, I get money through direct deposit. I barely talk to my parents.

 

If someone told you that a year in therapy could improve your dating chances, would you say yes?

 

How much improvement? A little? A lot? Why would it have to be a YEAR? That's a LONG time of therapy.

 

Therapy isn't about pills. It's about finding out why you do things. If you keep falling down the same hole, but refuse to change the path you're taking you need to figure out why. You can't do the same thing and get a different outcome.

 

If all you want is to take a girl home, why didn't you make a move on the girl you liked? Why spend so much money on her? Why get upset that she wasn't excited about your birthday? She showed you the absolute minimum interest, and how many threads did you make on her about her?

 

You need to start putting things into perspective.

 

1. I already know why I do CERTAIN things.

2. I BORN in a rabbit hole. I was a sick kid. I have bad senses. I can't smell very well. I used to wear hearing aids. Majority of my young life - kids constantly made fun of me -

I went to doctors, speech therapy for A LONG time when I was a kid. When I got rid of my hearing aids, people stopped making fun of me. My hearing fluctuates at times and I can be slow when comprehending conversations. It's not that I can't hear the conversation, it's because my mind is just "slower" to comprehend things.

3. Why did I not make a move on the girl? I don't even know what a "move" is? A kiss? Holding her hand? etc.. -- (old thinking) because I figured that she would make the move is she was really interested in me --- (new thinking) Now, I realize that was a dumb thought and majority of girls don't make first moves.

4. Why spend money? Well, because we were at a VERY expensive restaurant and I figured she might be the type to like a guy with money.

5. Why get upset about my birthday? Because I value our friendship/relationship more than she does and that night proved it to me. I had high hopes thinking she was going to do something special because she asked me out to do something 2 hours prior.

6. She showed me minimum interest? Yes she did! And that's a LOT more than other girls have done to me. It's hard to let go of the first girl "YOU THOUGHT" could be something more. Girls never expressed even "lets hang out" with me. Especially when it was just ONE on ONE. It's always been "let's ALL hang out".

[stilllooking31]

8+ pages of a thread, around 200+ threads, and this is all that needs to be said.

[Generation]

I've always figured I was around a 2 or 3. Majority of my guy friends are 7 - 10.

 

What you need to know is that you too can be 7-10. On a purely physical level, you can get there. Personality will be bonus points.

What do you think? Do you think you can get there?

[Dougie_D]

I am not sure. I can lose weight and build muscle but I would still need work on style and stuff. I wasn't always this "chubby". I have HIGH expectations on everything.

What's constantly in my head is:

-- I was used to be normal weight and no girls approached me and I was still considered unattractive. So what would be the difference between now and then?

That's a big struggle for me. I've already BEEN there.

Also, I think it's because I don't have much of a CHIN. When my parents wanted me to get plastic surgery, it was more about the process of chin augmentation. I am not into that.

I would like to believe that women can get PAST the look of a weak chin, but apparently they don't. So what do I do? I grow a beard to make it look like I have a stronger chin then I already have but then most woman don't like men with facial hair.

It's like I was born with a Catch-22!

[Generation]

Dude, that's the kind of negativity that knocks you down. You haven't even tried yet and you're saying "when I used to be normal weight, no girls approached me, there's no point."

 

TWO PROBLEMS: Normal weight to you is mediocre at best, there's nothing special. You weren't any better than any other guy out there. I didn't ask you to become a 5 did I? I said 7-10. Be a 5 at the bare minimum but that's not good enough, not for what you're looking for. You're aiming at a level that you were at when you weren't successful. Go beyond that. Transcend. Become a butterfly, young caterpillar.

 

I can lose weight and build muscle but I would still need work on style and stuff

 

You know, it'd be a whole lot better to work on losing weight and building muscle before you consider buying clothes and style cause when you've lost all the weight you want, you're just gonna need a new wardrobe. But really, you can work on both, it's not that hard. Style happens when you're not in the gym.

 

I have HIGH expectations on everything.

I question that. But I'll take your word for it. Now reach high and catch the stars.

 

You're telling me you have a high expectation, but you're not showing any output that'll lead me to believe you can reach it. You want immediate results. You want to get it fast. You wanna be able to wake up with all of this essentially given to you, with minimal effort. One of the things about working out, it takes time. If you want a short cut, then use steroids. Now I'm not about that, but if I had the ability to regenerate my muscles instantly and be revitalized and be able to work out multiple times a day, you'd bet I would. It takes time for your body to adjust, to adapt and to grow. But unless you put in some time and effort, you're not gonna move. You're stagnate right now, you're at a stand still, and you've been at a standstill for 31 years.

 

Dude think about it, you're like 3/4 of your way to becoming the 40 year old virgin. If you haven't watched that movie yet, watch it.

 

That's a big struggle for me. I've already BEEN there.

Did I just read you have high expectations? "Normal weight" isn't Adonis. "Normal weight" isn't athletic. "Normal weight" is something you see 10/12 times in most men. "Normal weight" in the American average is overweight. Aim higher. I'm not saying get skinny. I'm saying get fit. There's a big difference.

 

Also, I think it's because I don't have much of a CHIN. When my parents wanted me to get plastic surgery, it was more about the process of chin augmentation. I am not into that.

 

Trust me, you have a chin. That's not your problem. You have a jaw too. You can barely see it right now cause... I think you know why... and I think you know what the remedy to this problem is. It's getting in shape. No, you don't need plastic surgery and anyone who'd suggest that is silly.

 

You were not born with any disadvantages. You have the potential, but you're not utilizing it. Your scope of vision is like that of a bat's. You don't see your potential. I see it. I can see it and I've only seen pictures and videos of you. I've trained with people who have had far more crazier transformations, but they had the motivation and drive and never stopped.

 

You know, the reason why you're not in a relationship right now is because it is more painful for you to do something about it, ie. work on yourself, than it is painful to have a relationship. The pain of working on yourself is greater than being in a relationship. If this weren't true, then you'd work on yourself already. Nothing comes easy, but I think working on yourself to be one of the easiest, most crucial things anyone in life must do. It's what I live for.

 

I am not sure.

 

I am sure you can hit your goals. It's just a matter of "do I want it bad enough?" or "am I willing to put in the effort?"

I know you can blow these goals out of the water. I'm not BSing you, you can do it. Why are you putting yourself down?

 

Still don't believe me?

link removed

Season 1, episode 5.

Season 2, episode 1.

[agent1607307371]

I have HIGH expectations on everything.

 

But low expectations about what you need to do to get the things you want.

 

If you had high expectations of yourself, you'd put the work in. You wouldn't mope about some girl who gave you crumbs, you wouldn't take money from parents you don't speak to, you wouldn't let them put you down when you did speak to them, you'd have a job... Basically, everything you do says that you have low expectations about yourself and no interest in trying to better yourself.

[bulletproof]

If you want a short cut, then use steroids. Now I'm not about that, but if I had the ability to regenerate my muscles instantly and be revitalized and be able to work out multiple times a day, you'd bet I would.

 

Am I misunderstanding this?

[Generation]

Am I misunderstanding this?

 

Probably. Allow me to clarify.

 

If I worked out 24 hours straight (an entire day), it's not the same as working 1 hour per day, 24 days in a row, because that's just the way our bodies are.

If I could, I would love to work out for an entire day and have the same results. That's a quick fix, immediate results, wouldn't you say? But that's impossible.

 

What I'm trying to say is things don't happen that way. You need to put in the consistent effort each day.

[Jennyyes]

What TimLondon has wrote here is exactly what i wanted to write. He has said it perfectly. nail + head = HIT

 

As a woman, reading your posts, it is painfully obvious that you have no idea about being in a relationship. Woman appear to be completely alien to you. It seem like you think if you say the "right thing" while waring the "right shirt" then you will being able to nab a woman and obtain sex from her.

 

I hate to be terribly crude but if you are looking for just sex, then sure, find one of these date training coaches. Then you can trick a woman into believing you are the person your "dating coach"has trained you to be. Or failing that, pay for it.

 

If you are looking for a relationship, then actually work on yourself to become the type of man a woman would want to be with, without all the smoke and mirrors.