endy Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I've been very active on this forum for 7 months helping other people. I've seen situations worse than mine. I've seen people handle things well, and I've seen people handle them not so well. We all have free will and we all have choice. This is going to be my last post as it is time for me to explore other areas of my life. It needs to be done. There are many here that can help. The wisdom that I learned throughout this experience involving my breakup is second to none. It's by far the best thing that could have ever happened to me. What I want you all to know is that we experience things in life to promote self growth. That is what we are here for. The experience in whole, and then how we learn from them and grow from it. I did it through reading, examining my childhood, and my beliefs. I have a book thread. All you need to do is search "endy and books". A lot of times people are so addicted to another person in a relationship, the infatuation and comfortability that they don't notice or reflect upon themselves. I would like to encourage every person going through a breakup to take your time and do this for yourself. After you learn to do this, do it daily. Always go back to yourself even in a relationship. There's a reason pain and suffering is there. It's signaling a wrong belief in your mind. It's signaling that hey there's something to be learned here and to grow from. Please do not supress your emotions, take the time to work through them. Pay attention to that signal. Don't use another person to make it temporarily go away. All that will do is make the pain and suffering worse in the end. What I've learned about relationships is that a lot of people don't understand love. They have no idea what it is. A lot of what love is to people is animalistic sexual attraction... the "in love" stage. Sadly, that is only a part of love. After that the relationship is either comfortable enough (status quo), or people just don't love themselves enough or have enough self worth to walk away when they know its the right thing to do. They will either endure suffering that is familiar, or they will wait until they find that feeling again with someone else. The real goal of being in love is first and foremost to grow to a point where you love yourself first and foremost. I mean you love yourself as much as you would love your own child. When you love yourself that much, and find someone else that does as well... You will see yourself in that person. It will be like a mirror. That is my goal now. It is my goal to have children that are born from two people that understand love as more than that. I've learned that relationships need to be interdependent. You can't base your happiness on someone else ever. I've learned that like attracts like. If you have beliefs like you are not good enough etc... that is what you will attract. You will attract a broken person because you yourself are broken. Please work on this. It's going to benefit you in life as well as in all your relationships. I've learned that we are who our parents are... how we are raised as a child is the most important thing that effects our adult relationships. We are raised with certain beliefs, religions, and treated a certain way. The best thing to do is examine this and how you were treated. How did it make you feel? Did it make you feel unloved? Did it make you feel unworthy? For example I never felt worthy enough. I got all A's through schoold, was a great athlete, but I was always told I could do better. I was constantly prone to negativity, because my parents wanted me to know that I could do better. Examine that part of your childhood. Examine your fears as they are resistance to change. See where they come from. I've learned about the mind, spirit and how they are connected, buddhism, quantum physics, quantum healing... among other things. A lot of people are in so much pain, but if you learn how to concentrate on your breath and live in the moment... you can silence that pain. You can listen to your emotions. You can heal yourself. You can grow. I never heard from my ex again. I don't need to. It was an experience that was very painful, but it was also the breakup which caused me this growth. My message is it will get better. Love yourself. Know you are good enough, and don't ever let anyone tell you that you aren't. We all have the ability to understand love to an enlightened point. Strive to get there through the experiences in your life. Grow from them. I will tell you as a man I have learned much about attraction. I can be a Don Juan if I want, but I choose to not be. I can balance a females emotional core. I can try to manipulate your girlfriend, wife, or whoever I want into sleeping with me. I do not choose that because that is not love. As a man what you need is confidence which comes with self growth and experience. Attraction is not manipulation but me and women use it to get things they want... Where will that get me or you? I will be the guy that looks through your eyes and see's something that others won't. I will be the guy who is a mystery and can read your every thought. Not because I'm better than anyone else. Because sexual attraction is not what love is. In this day that's how most people in our society understand it. Those people aren't looking into your eyes to see inside of you and see themselves. They are looking in your physical eyes to get in your pants. When it gets boring and comfortable that feeling is lost, one leaves and does it all over again. LEARN! Also, women... know that you are more powerful than men. You are closer to love than men. You have the direct ability to love your child unconditionally and that is usually met in life. That's part of understanding love that most men don't have. All anyone has to do to get a better understanding of love is to examine a pride of lions and how they operate. Who has the most power? The woman. Who has more love for their children? The women. Then understand what love is as a point in the animal kingdom. Those are only the first three seals of love. There are those animals that mate for life. They are the only one's that make love. Out of that love is an offspring born out of love which is rare. I am not trying to judge anyone. I am not judging you who are reading this who has a child and is divorced. I am not trying to say that you don't have an idea what love is. I am simply explaining grow from experience. Learn what love is and what it isn't. The main message is to start realizing that we are more than just physical beings put here to deal with pain and suffering. That pain and suffering is telling you there's something wrong inside. Take your time and grow, because if you don't... if you never grow within your self... You will experience the same things over and over again. They will become more and more painful until you remove the beliefs and slivers that are causing your to choose this path. Do not operate out of fight or flight. Do not just run to another or use someone to stop the pain. Feel it and learn from it. Grow from it, and you will benefit ten fold. Learn about mind, body, and spirit. Once you do test your belief system and worldview against that spirit. I get a lot of pm's. I will not be responding to many of them any longer. For you that have my email address feel free to email me. The answers and knowledge is inside each and every one of us. You just have to stop the fear and be open to the signals. We all have free will and choice to choose our experiences. Think and feel before you jump into a relationship. Don't chase that sexual attraction. Chase what is inside that person, and have it be a reflection of you. Strive to understand love the best that you can. I wish all of you understanding, compassion, insight, happiness, and true love. - Endy Link to comment
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