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...he had the need to tell me, "But I'm not trying to get back together or anything." Why in the world tell your ex that if you're not interested?


A couple of weeks ago he sent me a random text saying, "I still love you". A few days later I asked why did he tell me that. He said that's how he felt, and quickly let me know he wasn't trying to get back with me but he wanted to see me.




He broke up with me just over a year ago, and within a couple of months he claimed he no longer loved me. The reason for breaking up, he said, was that he wanted to not be tied down to anything serious. We began hanging out again this past spring and evolved to a fwb within a few weeks, and only a few weeks after that had a huge fight, after which he said he came to the realization he used me and that he didn't want to see me anymore. Predictably, a month after that he began his contacts and attempted getting through to me every two weeks throughout the summer, and requested I hang out with him. Then he sent THAT text.

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Either stay cynical and ignore him or if he says it again tell him to prove it to you.


Agree with that. My ex is exactly the same as yours, even said she used me too and didn't want to see me. Don't get hung on up on someone who isn't genuine. You are going to sell yourself short in many other areas in life if you do. You deserve a man who knows he wants to be with you and proves it everyday, without using his words.

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Why are you in contact with someone who used you? This guy treated you really poorly, I don't understand why you are entertaining a relationship?


He is simply looking for some more non-committal sex .


Whoah, hey now, let me clear, I'm not entertaining a relationship lol. I'm just wanting people's opinions on what's going through an ex's mind when they do what he does, because I wouldn't do something like that, I don't understand it and I'm curious. And I'm not in regular contact with him at all.

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Thank God!


Hon, go NC. My ex disrespected me in the same manner, and I will NEVER speak with him again. I have to ask, why do you respond to someone who treated you this way? Why not cut him loose?


I suppose I want to think he's someone worthy of my time, because that's what I thought at one point. Or something like that. Actually I used to be a lot more insecure and with lower self-esteem when we dated, so often I felt I wasn't worthy enough of him.


Anyway, update: I got drunk one night and went online and messaged him, basically tried to pick a fight with him, my contempt reared it's head. Later when I was sober, I sent him a couple of emails explaining how and why I resent him, and how he has been disrespectful toward me since we broke up and this is why I think what I do. I said he must think I'm someone I'm not, or no longer am, since he appears to think coming back into my life would be so easy after the nasty thing he said during the spring about using me. I also said that if he really did love me still, he'd care that I thought that way. Instead I get a reply from him saying that trying to contact me again was a mistake and that it won't happen again. (This is like the third or fourth time he's said this, but he always tries to be friends again). Figures. I replied saying I knew he was full of crap, and that's why I ignored him the last few months.

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He is being selfish because he should no better than to give you hope, then snatch it away. My ex also told me all that, and told me I was her everything, and said she wasnt sure if this was the right decision.


I dont doubt that they love us right now, but the attraction (be it sexual, compatible interest, or general attraction isnt strong enough for a future to devote only to us) is failing to keep us both over-water. When attraction is dropping, the love starts to float on the feelings of connection, memories, comfort- and for some, that isnt enough.

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