Still Missing Her More Than 2½ Years Later

[Rob1000]

I still miss my ex-fiancée (of 5 years) even though we broke up over 2½ years ago. I've only seen her twice since the day we split up and we've spoken only a handful of times. She hardly exists in my life these days, apart from a few mutual friends we have. I've no desire to ever speak with her again, or even see her, but I still miss so many things about her, our lives together and still wish it had all worked out differently.

 

I'm still single, happy and content with my life, yet she has long since moved on, is living with someone and I wish her well. I never thought it would take me this long to get her out of my system, and I do believe I'll never meet the right girl for me until I can get my ex out of my head and stop glorifying the good times we had.

[NoDice]

You are doing awesome. Give yourself a break and be happy, watch the film "a town called panic", sometimes it takes a while but the love of your life will blze into your life soon enough. Just be ready, she is a babe and a half.

 

It has been 3 years since my ex fiance left by the way, and my current "ex" is ripping my heart the feck apart. So have faith in better times, take these times as exactly what they are, you miss her ok, but man there is someone for you.

[In the Dark]

I remember you from a long time ago.

She really put you through the wringer from what remember.

Personally what she did would ruin all the memories of the good times if I was in yuor situation.

To me what was once is good all now ruined by the ending.

[WhenWillILove]

Wow. That is a long time to be still thinking about your ex but it's okay, too. Have you tried going out more often? Dating sites? Sometimes, it'll take a new person to give you a new life.

[Rob1000]

I remember you from a long time ago.

She really put you through the wringer from what remember.

Personally what she did would ruin all the memories of the good times if I was in yuor situation.

To me what was once is good all now ruined by the ending.

You're right. Whenever I think of the minced pie ending, it usually puts all of those good thoughts to bed!

 

Have you tried going out more often? Dating sites? Sometimes, it'll take a new person to give you a new life.

All of the above. I've met tonnes of new people, been on loads of dates but have yet to meet one that I really like.

[sunnyv]

It takes time. It really does. She is out there for you. Its been good though cause your healing. Youneeded this time and may still need more time. Your getting healthier each day. Just give it more time.

[WhenWillILove]

Hm. Maybe it is an issue of letting go. I've noticed when I let go, it just happens. Good luck

[charity]

it took me 2 years to get fully over my ex. i managed to heal 80 percent on my own, was happy single, was happy with my life....but i still missed him. he was still my last love. then i met someone who i really felt attracted and interested in. it only lasted 2 months but it did the job in getting me the last 20 percent over my ex.i guess it just means that i was missing some love in my life. i hate that it took being with someone else to completely get me over him... but i can't deny that it did the trick.

you have probably met women who were nice and who you like, but it sounds like you haven't met anyone who could compare to your ex? i think you will. you have done much of the healing yourself and that is incredible. when you meet someone special you may realize that actually you are fully healed already, but you are just missing the last person you ever loved.

[Rob1000]

you have probably met women who were nice and who you like, but it sounds like you haven't met anyone who could compare to your ex? i think you will. you have done much of the healing yourself and that is incredible. when you meet someone special you may realize that actually you are fully healed already, but you are just missing the last person you ever loved.

I think this sums it up perfectly. I mean, I'm fine and have so many things I'm grateful for, but it's the yearning for love, new or lost, that makes me a little sad. I'll get there!

[Eocsor]

It takes a long time to totally recover from a significant relationship. One study put the average time at about 18 months. Some psychologists peg the healing curve at about 1 year to feel better and another year after that to be totally ready to move on. But those are average times. Some people take longer. You are doing fine. Just keep moving on in a positive manner and you'll get there sooner rather than later.

[prettymommy]

Are you sure you're not just missing being in love, and not so much the ex? I know that after awhile, I stopped missing the ex, but I never stopped missing/longing to be in a relationship again. Sometimes it can make it feel like you are still struggling to get over the ex though, since the ex is the last person you related to having those feelings with.

 

I think once you met someone you feel worthy of granting those feelings to, you'll finally feel like you've moved on. It took me 3 years to find someone after my last ex, but once I did, I realized my pinning over the ex wasn't so much about him as it was about just wanting to be in relationship again and experiencing feelings similar to what I previously associated with him. And it was at that point I felt I was 100% back to my old self.

 

And I know sometimes how it can feel when you're ex has moved on and is in a LTR and you are not; makes you feel like something is wrong with you. And that's not true. You just haven't found the right person yet, and it also shows you aren't going to settle for less than you deserve the next time around.

 

Don't beat yourself up about all of this, okay? And if you feel like you are putting the ex up on the pedestal, remind yourself of all the bad times. It wasn't just roses all the time, don't forget. You got to allow yourself to believe that you can have all you had before, and more, with someone else out there. Someone who won't leave all of a sudden and stick things out with you.

 

Glad to hear all else is well. Keeping doing those things that you do, and before too long someone will come along who's going to knock your socks off.

[bichin]

A bond once formed is permanent. Healing fully is the process by which your subconscious gains acceptance that this person is not available right now. I say right now because subconsciously we have no concept of time, there is only now. When you are in pain or longing it is because you are not able to accept that this person is not available right now. As acceptance grows in your subconscious the number of moments of acceptance become greater and denial become lesser. If you are overall doing better than you were a couple of years ago regarding thoughts of your ex then you can feel confident that your acceptance is progressing. Practice letting each thought of your ex go while reminding yourself that they are not available right now.

[SnowFox]

I would say as long as these feelings are not blocking you from attempting to meet and pursue relationships with new women, then maybe experiment with just accepting that your ex will always have a place in your heart.

 

You will most likely meet someone else and develop very strong feelings for her.

 

And even then, in occasional moments, you may have memories about your ex, which will stir those feelings.

 

I personally think this is OK. Its a sign that a very deep bond was forged. I really don't think that true, deep love is something that ever completely disappears once it was there. There will always be small triggers that activate a memory, thought, or feeling about the person.