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He's going to meet her for business purpose. But she has a crush on him!


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I think I'm in the worst situation now, which makes me feel much more insecure about all of this:


- He's my bf. He's very beautiful, older than me and now we're in a LDR. Relationship are pretty new.

- He's an athletic nice man, writing very popular blog about himself. In that way he gets much attention from all kinds of crazy women who send him their nude pics, suggesting to have sex, marriage, friendship, dating and other stuff. He's laughing at it but he thinks it's kind of fun to get attention from crazy "fans" (let's call them so).

- This way he found a girl, which suggested to make his dream come true - she's a very very nice businesswoman and she had a crush on him just after she saw his photos and suggested to help him to make his dream come true - he wanted to open some kind of company but had no business, finance and management skills for that. So he wrote on his blog that tomorrow he's going to meet her (it's 5 hours driving).


I feel insecure because I was dumped a lot of times by various guys and I just don't trust that woman! I mean I believe she can seduce him (when I'm far away and he hadn't had sex in a long time). Also she has a crush on him! He said that he's trying to pursue her as a friend because he really wants her to help him to open that company. But I just can't find any more patience just thinking of it. I know it's his biggest dream and she has all he needs (in all senses). But for the half of the week he doesn't write me first anymore. So I'm using NC (hoping he will miss me). It's SO HARD! Yesterday I sent him a very nice message saying that I understand that he's busy and tired so I just showed my appreciation for having him and wrote that I missed him. He replied very enthusiastically saying that he loves me, sending hugs and kisses. Still today he haven't written me and I'm paranoid. I don't know where to find a place to calm down. What should I do? I don't want him to show my freaked out jealous and insecure emotions to scare him away.

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so why choose a stranger who has a crush on him and lives 5 hours away?


Oh I forgot to mention one thing. The reason for this is because we were planning to relocate to the same city she lives. So he sees like a huge opportunity there to settle down and getting help. Still I see a lot of danger and risk there for him to fall in love with her. I don't know how to calm down. I can't talk to him sincerely, because she has all the "Aces" in her hands and I'm far away. I really don't want to scare him away.

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You're going to get 2 answers here. My answer is that this behavior is totally inappropriate on his part and I wouldn't tolerate it. The other answer you're going to get is that it's totally ok and that if you trust him, you should feel fine about him going out of his way to spend time with a woman who has admitted having feelings for him. You need to decide what your values and boundaries are and the decisions is up to you.

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Have you met him in person yet?


Of course I did, we lived together for almost all the summer until I traveled abroad for my business. So it's LDR now. And I don't write him. Today he wrote me, I asked when he's going to visit that girl and asked for how long and where will he live. I hope it hadn't seemed too much paranoid from my side.


He said he will sleep at her house, because hotel is too much expensive for him. He will be there at least 2 days (weekend) and try to do his business stuff.

Then I asked does he understand that she has a crush on him and if he sleep in a separate bed.

He said I hope so, she has a huge house with a lot of rooms. And yes, I know that she has a crush on me, that's why I have to play my cards right. I love you and don't be so insecure. I need you and only you. You have nothing to worry about. I think of you a lot and I miss you very much, my love.

Still somehow I don't believe him. Am I really that paranoid? I have a reason to worry, right?

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Ah, the old "don't be insecure because I'm making choices that would make any sane person uncomfortable" line.


You didn't fall for that, did you?


No, actually today I found more information about her and understood that she's really great and successful woman. I could be living just as happy as her but I chose to think of him 24/7 and not move forward. So here's consequences. In that time - it's really not "relationship" if he's behaving like this. I'm going NC from him as far as possible.

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