dudelikewhoa Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 My heart got the best of me and I slipped up. I sent my ex an email. It wasn't entirely bad...but it wasnt good either. This is how it went : from me: Hey you. I've been listening to the universe and it has been screaming out to me to get in touch with you. I hope you have been doing okay. I have been doing a hell of a lot of soul searching since we last spoke. I know what happened needed to happen. It was for the best but it doesn't erase the fact that I love you like no other. You are one of the best things that ever entered my life, no doubt. In the past months, I got lost. I lost myself, my direction and my secureness as a man. I let myself fall into codependency with you and that is unhealthy. It made me crazy and act out like a child. I know you have growing to do and things to experience. There is nothing I can do about the past but I know that I will never let myself fall into those jealous, insecure, untrusting, clingy traps ever again in any future relationship I ever get involved in. What I hope for is that it can be with you. I screwed up somewhere. It takes a man to realize his errors and I have manned up. You are my inspiration. You make me want to be a better man, everyday. Even though I have been focusing on bettering myself and getting my * * * * together, I am finding it SO difficult to live without you in my life. Not that I need you....I want you. You mean the * * * * ing world to me. I understand you may need time and if it takes years, so be it. I hope emailing this doesn't make it impersonal and that it doesn't fall upon deaf ears. If you can find it in your heart to give me another chance, I can prove to you that I have done a full 180. It may be hard to believe, but trust me...it's true. My eyes are open now. You do what you feel in your heart is right, but I want you to know that I love you more than anything and I hope I can someday win you you back. I made a terrible mistake. I will respect your time, but please know I will be here for you, always. From her: Hi, Thank you for your words. You are a very special man and I'm grateful to have had the relationship I did with you. It was the best ever... until it wasn't. I forgive you for your shortcomings. I don't think I'm anywhere close to delving back into a relationship with you at this time. As Greta Garbo said, "I want to be let alone." And I truly believe that's what is best for both of us right now. It's hard for me to believe one can change so much so fast. Still, I'm proud of you and I'm always here for you, for ideas, for inspiration, for life. I've been doing okay. Got outta town for the weekend but found it harder than ever when I got back. I'm truly heartbroken. Trying to get by and take care of my business. Been super sick the past two days. I can't seem to eat much and if I do, I seem to be puking it right back up. I got sent home from work today. So I'm sure you can imagine it's hard for me to process how I feel. I just want to do well, be well and be happy again. And I only want the same for you. All I saw was me making you unhappy. And that's the last thing I want. I want you to be the person, the artist, and lover I've always seen in you. I know you can do it. Love, Me. One last one from me: You never made me unhappy, I made myself unhappy by not letting you be the amazing, outgoing, beautiful creature that you are. I took you for granted and that is my biggest mistake I have ever made. Never think you did anything wrong...you were nothing short of being awesome to me. I just got lost. I respect your wishes and will let you be. I had to see if you felt the same and even know it hurts, you are worth the pain. I hope all the best in the entire universe for you. I hope you feel better. Always, Me Advice? Please?????? Link to comment
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