abandoned Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 I cant wait to just forget you.....hope it is sooner than later! I love her one minute and Hate her the next...normal? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 So, anything about therapy? Link to comment
learning2relax Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 I love her one minute and Hate her the next...normal? Very normal. Link to comment
abandoned Posted September 6, 2011 Author Share Posted September 6, 2011 oh ok was just wondering Link to comment
learning2relax Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 A very frustrating aspect about the grief process and it's stages is that it is not linear. You tend to bounce back and forth a bit. The longer out you get, the less turbulent but you can feel as if you are getting to acceptance and then take a dip back from it. Just know this to help yourself have patience with the process and the journey you experience while going through it. Link to comment
abandoned Posted September 6, 2011 Author Share Posted September 6, 2011 well, went to see a Dr. today.. I have booked a 4 week holiday, and im going to back to Canada. There I hope to just get my bearings back. Very true that I can not help this girl see and get help for her problems. But I did see under this wall she has, and mood swings and anger...that it was all to protect a good heart....I do hope one day she realizes she must face herself. I do miss her , and .I guess I do love her.. But I must right now fall in love with myself again.I need to learn how to be just me again... I hated sometimes how she acted...and she does need help....she is sick in away.. I will let go! But I will love the good I saw in her...and miss that! Link to comment
abandoned Posted September 6, 2011 Author Share Posted September 6, 2011 guess be good to be on other side of the planet...thats as far away from her I can get right now....Cmon cheap space travel! Guess other side of planet will have to do! Link to comment
Tanzi Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 guess be good to be on other side of the planet...thats as far away from her I can get right now....Cmon cheap space travel! Guess other side of planet will have to do! I think it will do you some good. Hopefully you with be able to take a good look at your relationship and gain a new perspective of the situation and realise that this relationship really isn't good enough for you. Link to comment
learning2relax Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 "Some people think it's holding that makes one strong—sometimes it's letting go." -Unknown Link to comment
abandoned Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 Well cant seem to sleep again. oh well, Link to comment
DerekJason Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Well cant seem to sleep again. oh well, here too, 4am seems to have become bedtime for me as of late. Link to comment
abandoned Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 here too, 4am seems to have become bedtime for me as of late. ya seems to be a trend in these moments! Link to comment
abandoned Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 I really hate this right now...cant really do much, I really hope that it helps when I go to Canada for 4 weeks.I have told my friend that needs help to close swimming pools that I will work with him when Im there.and told him I want to work every day! I have done well that I have not called her in weeks now..I saw she unblocked me from facebook,so I blocked her,as soon as I saw it...I know she will never contact me again even if she wanted to.. so I know I will never see her again. That does make me sad! I wish she would look at her mood swings and anger problem...they were the problem in this..when she was fine we were fine... but she does not think she has a problem, or just is not willing to look at her self...any way, back to me.. I lost a lot of myself from this in the last 6 years, I was always one of those with a smile on my face..when I get back fro Canada I start work In a very nice recording studio, and have many gigs and tours set up...hope its with a smile.... Link to comment
Tanzi Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Why do you think she will never contact you again? I think there is a possibility that she will ... when the mood takes her. Probaby when she is in one of her more irrational moods. I'm not saying that to give you hope. It is actually quite worrying and I think you should prepare yourself for that possibility. You need to gain the strength to keep her out of your life. You are now on the verge of making a better life for yourself. Eventually, when you are ready, someone will come into your life who will willingly give back to you what you give to them. Perhaps all of this will make her look at herself. You could be helping her as well as yourself. She needs to feel and see the consequences of her actions. You have done really well so far. Sorry if that sounds patronisng .... but blocking her when she has unblocked you, wow, that couldn't have been easy! Yes throw yourself into work, anything, keep busy and keep looking and moving forwards. It will get easier and easier. Link to comment
abandoned Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 well, like I said earlier, I had phoned her very many times, even when she said not to.I dont think she will ever contact me, its to easy for her to blame me for everything wrong in her life now im gone, I have heard t from others she blames me for things that I was not even involved in. She has went on and on to people to put me the bad guy.So she cant ever come back now even if she wanted to, it would make her look like a fool. I Bloocked her off facebook because It hurts to see her comments and profile picture.I have not done so well, I just woke up and its 7.30pm..thats why I want to work in Canada to get back on track.also to get in better shape...almost called her today, but did not...I will keep nc I know its all I can do good just now...This I think is about to fix myself right now..I am very depressed. Link to comment
learning2relax Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 So perhaps this might be some motivation for you to getting better and seeing a slightly positive slant on where you are at and where you need to be..... If you were to talk to her or see her now, you would not be your best self. right? You probably don't resemble the man that she met and fell in love with. When we meet our SO's we are typically happy, outgoing, confident, etc.... When we are hurting and reeling from the breakup, we are 180 degrees from that person we once were. If you allow yourself to heal and start looking for positive paths to feeling better, you are that much closer to getting to that person. If she ever reaches out, that is where you want to get to. You can't flip a switch or get there overnight but perhaps a little motivation to start seeking positive ways to spend your time to help you get headed in the right direction....... Link to comment
abandoned Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 I hear ya. and your right. I think the 4 weeks in Canada will be a huge step towards that! Link to comment
abandoned Posted September 10, 2011 Author Share Posted September 10, 2011 I just cant take it anymore! Link to comment
abandoned Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 I miss you...but I will never call...I will not contact you ever again.... Link to comment
abandoned Posted September 12, 2011 Author Share Posted September 12, 2011 fighting now...I want to call you....wonder how you are....i miss you..... Link to comment
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