swordfish Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Just wandering, question to the girls, if you are asked to dinner whether it be to a house or a restaurant, what are your first reactions? obviously its different if you know the person somewhat. i find in the uk every time i do it always ends up being the dreaded "friendzone" speech afterwards is it expected that guys state their intentions whether it is a date or not? (hopefully the question makes sense cos im even confused!!!) Link to comment
Deciduous Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Hi Swordfish, Guys usually ask a girl out for drink at the local pub. Or one near work. Relationships start with a drunken snog or more and go on from there. Sadly we are not so hot on dating with all the frills and trimmings as you guys in the US. Being formally asked to go to dinner, is some-what viewed as over-kill, in some circles. But if you are paying, there is many girls that will say yes, even though they are not interested. Try asking her for drink and see what the score is. Then go from there. Good luck Deci Link to comment
swordfish Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 Thanks for reply Deciduous!!! im actually from the uk! i just find it interesting because in most of the cases i guess im expected to ask the hard hitting questions to find out intentions. sometimes not even knowing from the get go they have a boyfriend until they slip it in as part of a convo. so i guess the question is is it better to establish these things first or is it just being too forward? Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Guys usually ask a girl out for drink at the local pub. Or one near work. Relationships start with a drunken snog or more and go on from there. Sadly we are not so hot on dating with all the frills and trimmings as you guys in the US. Being formally asked to go to dinner, is some-what viewed as over-kill, in some circles. But if you are paying, there is many girls that will say yes, even though they are not interested. So awesome! Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I think if a woman is interested in you, dinner will not turn her off. if anything, it will make her more interested. i think you are just asking the wrong girls to dinner.... Link to comment
swordfish Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 I think if a woman is interested in you, dinner will not turn her off. if anything, it will make her more interested. i think you are just asking the wrong girls to dinner.... thanks annie24 for reply!! Its seemingly hard to find the right girls as im sure would be the same the other way round. maybe im old fashioned. a way to a womans heart not being through food or romantic gestures. again this does not apply to everyone of course. the awful thing is the gesture is 90% never returned be it friendship or other. red flag situation to move on? i think so! Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 instead of splurging on dinner, i think asking a girl to an interesting event, like a concert, free outdoor music, etc.. or just getting some ice cream might be a good way to go. i don't think that the meal will induce or not induce romantic feelings. i can feed myself, and thus my opinion of the man is not based on his buying me dinner. if i like you, i like you, if i don't, i don't. i'll give a chance though if i'm on the fence. something that can be a turn-off is if he takes me out to a fancy restaurant and then expects me to pay for dinner (has happened to me!!!). or he is rude to the waitstaff. Link to comment
swordfish Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 instead of splurging on dinner, i think asking a girl to an interesting event, like a concert, free outdoor music, etc.. or just getting some ice cream might be a good way to go. i don't think that the meal will induce or not induce romantic feelings. i can feed myself, and thus my opinion of the man is not based on his buying me dinner. if i like you, i like you, if i don't, i don't. i'll give a chance though if i'm on the fence. something that can be a turn-off is if he takes me out to a fancy restaurant and then expects me to pay for dinner (has happened to me!!!). or he is rude to the waitstaff. good point. is there a difference in creating the meal? ("i can feed myself" lol!!! i love that. i can just imagine a girl asking me to take her to dinner and me saying you can feed yourself!!) Link to comment
Deciduous Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 So awesome! Hee-hee! I've wouldn't use those words to describe it. I'm sooooo jealous of you stateside girls. The most we can expect here is a luke-warm rum&Coke half the time. Huge Apology, Swordfish. I obviously didn't grasp the question. Duh! Link to comment
swordfish Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Hee-hee! I've wouldn't use those words to describe it. I'm sooooo jealous of you stateside girls. The most we can expect here is a luke-warm rum&Coke half the time. Huge Apology, Swordfish. I obviously didn't grasp the question. Duh! if i knew i didnt have to try so hard id just order a meat feast pizza and just watch bad boys. i think ive got more of a chance that way! with the luke warm rum and coke of course!! Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Hee-hee! I've wouldn't use those words to describe it. I'm sooooo jealous of you stateside girls. The most we can expect here is a luke-warm rum&Coke half the time. Huge Apology, Swordfish. I obviously didn't grasp the question. Duh! I've lived in England, so that's what made me laugh. It's a very true assessment! Swordfish - screw the dinner. Pack of McVities would have gotten you into my pants back in the day. Link to comment
Vincent Ruiz Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 It sounds like the UK has got it right with the whole going out to dinner thing. For me, if I want to get to know a girl, I WILL NOT ask her out on a date to a restaurant. It so formal that it hinders any real chance a connection can be made because formal dates are so awkward and there is so much pressure to be on your best behavior. Why would I want to hurt my chance of making a real connection with a girl? It is better to invite her to something more casual where there are other people having fun. I have a friend who works at this wildlife place that is something like a zoo but on a smaller scale. What I did was invite a girl I was interested to go to the wildlife place and meet up with my friend who works there. We got a back stage tour if you will and got to play with baby tigers, we saw spider monkeys etc. It was so fun and there was really no pressure other than the beginning. But through that I got to know her and we were both at ease that we could really be ourselves. She later went on to be my girlfriend for two years lol. My advice is skip the formal dates for when you are actually a couple and do something fun instead! Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Depends on the Brit too. My fiancé is English and is all about the frills. Although he doesn't like the term dating. Dating to him implies not serious, 'been together' is apparently for serious relationships. Hi Swordfish, Guys usually ask a girl out for drink at the local pub. Or one near work. Relationships start with a drunken snog or more and go on from there. Sadly we are not so hot on dating with all the frills and trimmings as you guys in the US. Being formally asked to go to dinner, is some-what viewed as over-kill, in some circles. But if you are paying, there is many girls that will say yes, even though they are not interested. Try asking her for drink and see what the score is. Then go from there. Good luck Deci Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 I have a friend who works at this wildlife place that is something like a zoo but on a smaller scale. What I did was invite a girl I was interested to go to the wildlife place and meet up with my friend who works there. We got a back stage tour if you will and got to play with baby tigers, we saw spider monkeys etc. It was so fun and there was really no pressure other than the beginning. omg! this is something i would enjoy waaaaaaaay more than dinner and a movie!!!! Link to comment
swordfish Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 I've lived in England, so that's what made me laugh. It's a very true assessment! Swordfish - screw the dinner. Pack of McVities would have gotten you into my pants back in the day. HAHAHA!!! DAMN!! from this day forward, swordfish shall no longer prepare food for those who can "feed themselves" and shall stick to a can of stella while sitting on the roof of wembly stadium watching n-dubz and saying how poo they are on a giraffe! Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 omg! this is something i would enjoy waaaaaaaay more than dinner and a movie!!!! I agree!!! I love odd dates like that. Link to comment
Alezia Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 I agree!!! I love odd dates like that. I agree too. It's easier to talk about something than just the food in your plate. To be honest with the making the food yourself, I'm not a big fan of going to the guy's house so that he prepares me dinner if I barely know him. Some girls may bite (haha!), but I prefer a public location on the first few dates. If it's between being treated to a restaurant or having a guy make me a candle lit supper at his house I'll pick the former. Once you're a couple, then there isn't this 'safety' idea that looms at the back of your mind. I'm sure you are a good guy, but you need to prove it (at least somewhat) to me first. Link to comment
Stay_home Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Just wandering, question to the girls, if you are asked to dinner whether it be to a house or a restaurant, what are your first reactions? obviously its different if you know the person somewhat. i find in the uk every time i do it always ends up being the dreaded "friendzone" speech afterwards is it expected that guys state their intentions whether it is a date or not? (hopefully the question makes sense cos im even confused!!!) If you ask someone out and they reject you or give you the run around, their not interested. Link to comment
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