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swordfish

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Everything posted by swordfish

  1. im in the same (ish) position. ive been seeing someone for a few months no but when i started i was totally cluless as to what to do or how to function as a boyfriend as it was my first time. my opinion and advice is to go with the flow cos ur just learning, as scary as it seems. ive made a few mistakes so far but its all part of it. one of the most important things i found is to make sure you yourself is happy and if there is something bothering you, feel free to say it because communiction is such an important thing in a relationship. listen to each other and understand each otheers needs in the relationship. (this wont happen overnight but as the days go by and you start to understand each other more) i say this but its something im struggling with because i dont like conflict and hate to make other people feel bad. but at the end of the day YOU need to be happy and in turn hopefully they will be happy and the relationship can develop and you grow stronger as a person with the knowledge gained. im sure you will be fine. just enjoy and experience! any questions just write on this message board. ur always welcome the swordfish xxx
  2. that is definatly a major problem. one that im facing at the moment. what do you do if you are having a great friendship already? but if you dont say anything it could get worse or arkward and more harder to say anything as time goes on. i guess theres only one way to find out...
  3. iits about stepping out of the comfort zone. we've gotta do it eventually. the situe may or may not go the way you want it. whatever happens though at least you can say to yourself "at least i gave it a go." giving you lessons of how to haddle the situation nextime maybe from the start. sadly thats life. im always learning. all my mates have seen a change in me and its because ive been through the low points and im learning from them so that one day i WILL hit the nail on the head and it will me gold!
  4. as much as id hate to admit it, poco has a point. i have missed out on a lot of nice people because of hanging onto one person, in a way making excuses thinking maybe they may get upset if i started seeing someone else, even if we arent properly seeing each other. its something major that i need to change for myself and its going to be hard.
  5. good points. i know also for a fact that some of my mates started off in friendly dispositions at first for a while, but then started seeing each other properly, and lasted years and still going strong. we have had lunch together as well. i kinda think im in the middle between friends and more than. i am seeing her 2nite in a club, but shes gonna be out with mates. any last tips?
  6. ok, what it you spend time with this person doing things they like? e.g. sports, long walks etc
  7. hey peeps. is there a way to get out of the friendzone situation? is it a case of just telling the person how you feel?
  8. yo. i dont think it would be a problem. if it were me i would say "hey, do u mind if i tag along? sounds like fun!" then that would be a good oppertunity to get to know some more people. i wouldnt really associate it with going on a date. more out with some mates. who knows who u might meet when ur out ???? \\
  9. sounds like a good plan.....wait..... >_> THATS MY PLAN!!!! hehehe \\
  10. thanx friscodj and everyone for your beautiful answers! uve put a smile on my face. u are all 5]s. [/size]i will let u know how it went!! i like this one, im not really evil...hehehe)
  11. i is curious, how did that situ go 4 u? what did u do? (if u dont mind me askin?)
  12. hey guys! hopefully im going to go an a walk with a girl i really like. i would like to surprise her by preparing a picnic but i dont know if thats being too forward. ive known her 4 a few months now and know i like, i know shes comfortable around me. what do u think? also what ways can i subtly let her know i like her? thanx!
  13. yo dude! well i suppose i consider myself not to be the most confident person around but for some reason ive become one of the most popular people at my uni. i can honestly say i know 80% of my year group (not all by name). to be honest, i dont really have a secret to it. i just be be. i find smiling a lot helps before initial contact and when i talk to people i sometimes think of the most random of convisations e.g. do u remember power rangers? i still like them. i download episodes when i can. bring up some happy childhod memories. (cartoons, things u or they used to do) i think randomness helps in convos even if it doesnt totally make sense and goes somewhere stupid. all the while just smile. then everytime they see you they associate and think of the convos youve had. i also tell them observations ive made about n e thing which seem small but make it look like a big thing. e.g. why are oranges called oranges but lemons called lemons and not yellows??? when it comes to deep debates, i admit i used to shy away and not comment. but the most important thing to remember is that whatever u say, even if it doesnt make sense, counts. jut say whats on your mind. whats the worst that can happen? its just YOUR opinion. doesnt matter if someone disagrees cos thats what discussions are for. i spose another point is to just ask when u got the chance (the girl in ur french class) "Hey, ive always said hey to u but i dont actually know much about u apart from u in my lessons and the catwalk thing. tell me about u..." i bet ur thinking "easier said..." and the truth is it always is. but again whats the worst that can happen? she may scream and poke ur eyes out with her fingers just explode (if that happens, gimmie a call!!! lol) these are just some tips ive pick up. give them a go. they may or may not work. nothing to lose, more to gain. hope i was of help the swordfish
  14. hey guys!!! not totally sure is this is the right forum but here it goes. theres a girl that i would say am good friends with even though ive only really known her for a few months. shes really cool and gets on with everybody. ive taken out a few times for walks and even for lunch (she suggested that) ive invited her to some of my gigs and she has been able to make it when she can but she works most of the time. i do text her and she always relpies with long answers. we always smile at each other when we catch eye contact and have similar thoughts and intrests. the problem is she pretty much does similar things with other guys (the going for walks, chill around theirs etc) so it kinda makes me feel like im just another "friend" so im wandring on posibillites of whether she just wants to be friends or if theres a possibility of something more. what can i do to make myself stand out more than the other guys? the last walk we went on she told me she really liked and decided we would do it every week. i was thinking of preparing a picnic for us (maybe moving too fast tho?) providing the weather is ok. anything to enlighten me will be much appreciated!!! the swordfish
  15. is it wrong for a girl to be dating 2 guys at the same time? i met a girl one eve, had a nice night then found out from mates that she had a boyfriend. when i saw her again she said she was only going on dates with him. im very confused because i know deep down that it would be immoral to see her as well but this would be my first proper relationship since forever. it doesnt help the fact that shes extremely beautiful and these situation never happen to me. any thoughts? thanx
  16. hiya all again! thish is quite a long story so please bare with me... i met this girl in college. i didnt get to know her properly until after last christmas time. i met her in a club one evening and shared a dance with her which we both very much enjoyed. she then took me for a walk and were gradually arm in arm together as we talked about each other (hobbies and things). i walked her to her house and she invited inside. at this time i was thinking *ive never done anything like this before* and was very nervus, but i accepted. it was inside that i experienced my first kiss which was a nice experience. i ended up staying the everning but didnt do anything more, only because i felt i wasnt ready yet. a few days went buy and i saw her in the club again. i danced with her a little then she took me to a quiet area and basically told me she wanted to be friends. I was quite upset but for her sake i didnt show it to make her feel bad because i really liked her. we became good friends and visited her often. i invited her over to mine once just to talk and stuff, but we ended up kissing again and spending the night with each other (again not getting very intamite) we then kinda were seing each other, just going to each others houses and enjoying each others company. but again she said she just wanted to be friends after about a week. that put me down a lot, close to depression because this was my first ever relationship with someone. so i again took in in the chin and accepted it. afterthat we still saw each other but as friends. athough i started to feel i was doing most of the work because i was always the one contacting her asking to come round and she never asked to come round to mine. i even sat at her bedside till the early hours of the morning when she was very ill and stayed around to help her with work. this has pretty much confused my feelings for her because everytime i want to hug her or touch her, alarm bells ring in my head and i physically cant do it cos she said she wants to be just friends. even though we are, i tend to get a little jelous when i see her talking to other guys in clubs and i think become very protective. shes going to be leaving soon, and even though i have done a lot for her already, i still want to do something special so she wont forget me or the times that we had. so im wandering what i shoud do, if anything at all. i want to prepare a picnic on a beach for her on a sunny day and maybe reveil my feelings but i dont know. (maybe one last kiss?) just to say thank you to her for being my first kiss. what do you all think of the situation? do you think im being selfish wanting something in return? thanx so much swordfish p.s. i will most probably never see her again but i dont know.
  17. im planning on having lunch with a girl i like. my mates are totally convinced that she likes me and even said we looked like a couple. on his lunch date would it be ok to give her a rose or some flowers?
  18. thank you all so much im so glad i found this website its helped so much
  19. big problem here. there are these 2 girls i really like. one is in my year group and one some years older than me who is working but see once a week at this club thing i do, the other one i practically see every day. i really like them both and dont know what to do. i think one may like me back but i dont know. the thing is i have a school dance coming up and this girl in my year is gonna be there. im not sure what i should do. im very good friends with both of them and dont want to hurt them. im quite confused. help
  20. my situes quite the same. i tend to get really close to some of the girls i reallly like but then they go out with my best mates. its happened soo many times. the first time it happened i got quite jelous and wanted do a revenge thing. but in the end i didnt. i think it these things gave me more experience in these situations so one day *fingers crossed* i will find that special sum 1 even though i have to put up with so much bad stuff. but in my opinion, dont give up on love, there r loads of peeps out there
  21. quite true. i think i might just try to leave it and move on. whats worse then being just good friends. thanx mate much appreciated.
  22. i recently found out a girl i really like has a boyfriend. It was through an e-mail she sent me. but she gave no indication to me that she did even though ive given hints that i liked her. shes even said 'lets do lunch' to me. i want to find out whether she does have a boyfriend or not but not just ask. n e advice?
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