Crusader9 Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 Hey Ariel, I love the term stepford date...haven't heard that before, and it may seem appropriate. I don't mind moving on, but I think I have two issues. One, it's ego, I usually get a pretty good feel and know if it is a go or not. And the second is almost the same, because I get mixed signals and I am enjoying spending time with her and could see dating her more, I don't want to throw that away too early if she is just really slow & cautious. Either way, I have left it up to her. I feel comfortable enough that she knows I'm interested, but unless she initiates some contact (phone call, text, etc.), I am not going to chase. I have a couple of other potential dates, so I am continue to pursue those. I don't really like dating multiple women at the same time as I find it disrepectful a bit (I know others do it and it's okay...I'm a bit of a traditional, respectful guy!). I am kinda with you on dating someone with "stepford" tendencies. I'm good now I think...we'll see where any of these things goes. Again, thanks everyone! Link to comment
Tanzi Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 maybe she is a traditional gal too and waiting for you to do al of the asking out. You never know. Link to comment
Crusader9 Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 A-little-blue...you're not helping!!! haha....that is exactly the thought I have/had that is putting me in this dilemma. I've left it in her court...I can only "chase" for so long...after 3 good dates (at least from my perspective) I could at least expect some contact initiated by her...either text, phone call, etc. So maybe she contact me, maybe she won't, but that should tell me if she is at least interested a bit more than I think she is now. Traditional/slow or whatever, a "hi" wouldn't be out of the question would it? Link to comment
Stay_home Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Dating "a lot" means exactly as she stated. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 maybe she is a traditional gal too and waiting for you to do al of the asking out. You never know. Traditional gals don't pay for early dates. Link to comment
ny guy Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Traditional gals don't pay for early dates. Great observation. You've been friend-zoned. It's happened to all of us. A great way to look at things, as my former girlfriend said....if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Yes it stings, it's a shot to the ego, but you'll be fine whatever happens. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 A-little-blue...you're not helping!!! haha....that is exactly the thought I have/had that is putting me in this dilemma. I've left it in her court...I can only "chase" for so long...after 3 good dates (at least from my perspective) I could at least expect some contact initiated by her...either text, phone call, etc. So maybe she contact me, maybe she won't, but that should tell me if she is at least interested a bit more than I think she is now. Traditional/slow or whatever, a "hi" wouldn't be out of the question would it? No it isn't out of the question ... I was just wondering what she meant by "reserved" ... not that I would have thought that someone reserved would be up for dating "a lot". Anyways it was just a suggestion and not necessarily the case. I just know that some women are a little reluctant to do the chasing but if you have left the ball in her court then it wouldn't hurt for her to initiate contact next. Link to comment
Crusader9 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 So here's the update...I just let it go and I didn't get a text from her...until today. So no communication for 9 days...then just a "hi" out of nowhere. We texted a few times, then nothing... I have no idea what this girl wants or is interested in. I can't figure it out. She worked nights and all the long weekend, but not even a text for 9 days??? Now I get a text out of the blue like this...? Is she just looking to "date" for something to do and fill out the nights or is she actually interested? I don't think she is really interested, because any dating situation I was in, there was never a massive communication gap like this. ...so weird... Link to comment
Shudder Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 i wouldnt put too much stock into it if i were you Link to comment
Tanzi Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 So here's the update...I just let it go and I didn't get a text from her...until today. So no communication for 9 days...then just a "hi" out of nowhere. We texted a few times, then nothing... I have no idea what this girl wants or is interested in. I can't figure it out. She worked nights and all the long weekend, but not even a text for 9 days??? Now I get a text out of the blue like this...? Is she just looking to "date" for something to do and fill out the nights or is she actually interested? I don't think she is really interested, because any dating situation I was in, there was never a massive communication gap like this. ...so weird... I think she is waiting for you to make all the moves. She contacted you therefore leaving the ball in your court. Regardless of that though, if you find her actions weird, and therefore confusing, and your gut instinct is telling you that she isn't really interested then I would take it that you are not on the same wave length and not for each other. Link to comment
1m50L0nl3y Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Well she dates a lot. Maybe she was busy dating other guys. Or maybe she is just so into that book called The Rules, that she is screwing things little by little to make you go crazy for her and chase her. Regardless, I think she's playing. Link to comment
Crusader9 Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 ...if I ever found out I was the unwilling participant in a step-by-step book I would be so pissed! I'm sure lots of people have, and maybe no one noticed or cared...but these "games" just seem like such a waste of time to maintain some perception of power/control. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 If you don't want games, don't play them. Why not, when she texts you, ask her out? Link to comment
1m50L0nl3y Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I think he shouldn't keep wasting his time and money, if by date # 3 you don't get at least to the 2nd base... it's a COMPLETE waste of time, useless, pointless and ridiculous. Link to comment
Crusader9 Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 Who talks in terms of "bases"...I'm not 15! I did ask her out...going on Saturday... Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Who talks in terms of "bases"...I'm not 15! I did ask her out...going on Saturday... Excellent. Good luck! Link to comment
Tanzi Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I think he shouldn't keep wasting his time and money, if by date # 3 you don't get at least to the 2nd base... it's a COMPLETE waste of time, useless, pointless and ridiculous. Lol, charming! Link to comment
ny guy Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Lol, charming! if her head ain't in my lap by date 3....she's a prude. Link to comment
1m50L0nl3y Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 if her head ain't in my lap by date 3....she's a prude. That's what I'm talking about man, I'm not gonna be spending my time and money playing kindergarten games. A woman that's not jumping on top of me by the 3 rd date is IMMEDIATELY substituted. I have too many problems in my life, to be wasting my energy being her "friend" while some other dude is using his fingers, tongue and c.. on her. PLEASE! Link to comment
ny guy Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 That's what I'm talking about man, I'm not gonna be spending my time and money playing kindergarten games. A woman that's not jumping on top of me by the 3 rd date is IMMEDIATELY substituted. I have too many problems in my life, to be wasting my energy being her "friend" while some other dude is using his fingers, tongue and c.. on her. PLEASE! If you ain't going down, you gettin out! AMEN brother!! hahah Link to comment
Tanzi Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 if her head ain't in my lap by date 3....she's a prude. A prude eh? So it couldn't possibly be that she doesn't fancy putting her head in your lap, especially if you're giving off vibes that that is all you want. Most decent girls would want to stay away from guys like that. Eeew! It doesnt sound as though that is all crusader is after. Link to comment
Crusader9 Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 Blue...you are correct. Getting sex is pretty easy..it's just effort. But meeting someone that you connect with, have fun with, etc., is a lot more difficult and a really great girl is even more difficult to find. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Blue...you are correct. Getting sex is pretty easy..it's just effort. But meeting someone that you connect with, have fun with, etc., is a lot more difficult and a really great girl is even more difficult to find. This gives me hope for the male species. Link to comment
Crusader9 Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 Thanks Darcy! I copied that from a book that a woman wrote (hahah...jk!! Update on my situation (this thread way back when!)....went out again last night...really good time, had lots of fun, really enjoyed hanging out. Got a text this morning...we'll see how everything goes...I think I have a read on the whole situation now... Link to comment
ny guy Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 A prude eh? So it couldn't possibly be that she doesn't fancy putting her head in your lap, especially if you're giving off vibes that that is all you want. Most decent girls would want to stay away from guys like that. Eeew! It doesnt sound as though that is all crusader is after. why so serious!?! I keed, i keed. i figured the sarcasm of my completely asinine comment would have been sensed...it's all good : ) crusader...have fun! Link to comment
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