My boyfriend asked me to lick his butt....It was too weird

[lilsmc]

Two nights ago, my boyfriend and I smoked pot ( which by the way, it is something I'm not really used to doing) So after a few laughs and giggles, I asked him if he wanted to have sex while being high because I wanted to know how it feels. He was def. up for me. He told me he was going to quickly hop in the shower. Few minutes later, he comes back into the room.. and this time he brings up the subject in a joking way "why dont you lick my a&&? at this point, i was like (skeptical since I have never done this before) but i decided to agree so I said ok. Then, I guess he got a little weirded out by it, so Im like so you really want me to do this, his answer varies from no, to then yes...yes! So I said alright fine, I will. Next thing you know, he gets completely undressed.... bends over on four with his a&& literally in my face. I was not expecting him to quickly bend over like that. This TOTALLY, I mean TOTALLY turned me off. I guess he saw it in my face, so he procedeed with " I never done this before, I am losing my hard" To me, this made me think that he has done this quiet a few times in the past. I thought that I would start with oral sex and then I would work my way down there.. but it wasnt like that at all.. This image of him bent over like this totally has me going out of my mind. What exactly does this mean? Could he possibly be gay? To this date, our sex has been very good ( He penis is big and I am a small person so it's hard to try different positions because it usually results in excruciating pain) But i cant get over the fact that he was too quickly to drop his pants and bend over on four like that..

 

Please I need advice. I feel weird bringing this subject up, as I havent spoken to him since. What should i do, or say???????

 

Thank You

[agent1607307371]

This doesn't mean he's gay. Rimming is an extremely pleasurable sensation. I don't know why you think him saying he's never done this before means he's done this before.

[Ebrithil]

Its something that you see as being unusual as do a lot of people as its not conventional, although the anus does have a nerve cluster that when stimulated properly is quite pleasurable, some herto men will play with themselves or ask their partners to do it for them it doesnt mean they are gay they have just found a new way of stimulating themselves. Some woman also find anal sex / play to be extreamly satisfying and are turned on by it also.

 

If you find the whole process of it to be uncomfertable then speak to your parner and tell him it isnt really your thing and he should be respectful of that but its not something you should be worried about.

[Hollyj]

No!! It doesn't mean he's gay!!! Straight men enjoy this, too!

 

I suggest you use some sort of lubricant, then sex will not be so painful.

[mrwebcam]

Well that is friggen weird he just bent over like that, maybe he was really excited about you saying yes and he was overwhelmed with excited and that was the first thing he knew what to do. I can't say he did that cause he was high, as you know what your usually doing when smoking pot. I don't think he is gay, maybe he is bi-sexual hard to say though.

[Hollyj]

Well that is friggen weird he just bent over like that, maybe he was really excited about you saying yes and he was overwhelmed with excited and that was the first thing he knew what to do. I can't say he did that cause he was high, as you know what your usually doing when smoking pot. I don't think he is gay, maybe he is bi-sexual hard to say though.

 

Why did you say that, now she will have doubts! Ignore this!

[mrwebcam]

You just don't bend over and stick your a ss in someone face and say here lick

[Ebrithil]

Why did you say that, now she will have doubts! Ignore this!

 

I second that, your criticizing someone for something you don't understand.

[Hollyj]

You just don't bend over and stick your a ss in someone face and say here lick

 

I suggest you reread the post. He did ask her. And what does it have to do with being bi?

[itsallgrand]

You just don't bend over and stick your a ss in someone face and say here lick

 

LOL.

 

Is that more the OP's objection and why she is having flashbacks? That would make sense. Simply that he wasn't very seductive in this new adventure.

 

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he is gay, maybe that he was a little over eager and crude in his offering of his body is all. And that is a matter of taste.

[mrwebcam]

yea i know he asked, but she never did it and wasn't expecting him to drop on all fours and say here you go. She probably thought their would be more intimacy involved, instead she was shocked he just dropped like that. Most people do four play and work there way up to it. Not say BAM here it is

[mrwebcam]

and i am not saying he is gay either

[Hollyj]

yea i know he asked, but she never did it and wasn't expecting him to drop on all fours and say here you go. She probably thought their would be more intimacy involved, instead she was shocked he just dropped like that. Most people do four play and work there way up to it. Not say BAM here it is

 

I agree that he was a bit over eager, but what does that have to do with being bi?

[Cheetarah]

I think he was excited and overeager like iag says.

 

Anal stimulation has nothing to do with sexual preference, AT ALL.

 

Next thing you know, he gets completely undressed.... bends over on four with his a&& literally in my face.

 

You just don't bend over and stick your a ss in someone face and say here lick

 

LOL! Great mental images.

[mrwebcam]

well i guess you can take it as he might be used to getting on all fours for some dude and that's all he knew what to do, but she asked for opinion so i gave, just like you give yours.

[stuka80]

Ass licking is not really my cup of tea but hey, if he likes it and you're down for it then why not lol, dont think it means he's gay

[FathomFear]

It would be gay if he wanted a guy to lick him there. But given that you're a woman, no--it's not gay.

 

You may or may not be aware, but men have prostate glands. It's a huge errogenous zone and even given the title "the male g-spot". The only reason more guys don't explore it is people jump to the same conclusion that you did--that any kind of stimulation there must mean that you're gay. It's really just an unfortunate misconception. Being gay means that you're a guy who only wants to have sex with guys. That's it.

[agent1607307371]

The only reason more guys don't explore it is people jump to the same conclusion that you did--that any kind of stimulation there must mean that you're gay. It's really just an unfortunate misconception.

 

I'm not a guy, but this does make me so sad. The body's an awesome instrument.

[lilsmc]

Should this subject even be brought up though? I literally have not spoken to him since as I feel too weird. We are pretty pretty comfortable with each other and I feel that i should bring up the subject and perhaps still have a possibility in perfoming this act. But a part of me has had a slight change in perception of him as he always came accross as a "manly man" and to see him drop his pants and bend over like that has somewhat triggered that perception. I would have def. licked him down there under a different circumstances. I know he was high and all and maybe that is the reason that he had the courage to ask me this... but still [[TOO friggin weird]]

 

Going back to bringing this up to his attention and if i should.. what should be said without making him feel uncomfortable?

[Hollyj]

well i guess you can take it as he might be used to getting on all fours for some dude and that's all he knew what to do, but she asked for opinion so i gave, just like you give yours.

 

I'm sorry, but this is an ignorant statement. I do believe that gays and bis' engage in foreplay, just like the hetero community.

[Cheetarah]

I'm not a guy, but this does make me so sad. The body's an awesome instrument.

 

It really is. I've had a few boyfriends who were terrified to tell me how much they enjoyed anal stimulation and the idea of being pegged, because of past girlfriends accusations when they brought it up.

 

Ladies, gents...We cheat ourselves of so much pleasure with these misconceptions.

 

Now if you don't like it because it's not your THING, that's your prerogative.

[Hollyj]

Should this subject even be brought up though? I literally have not spoken to him since as I feel too weird. We are pretty pretty comfortable with each other and I feel that i should bring up the subject and perhaps still have a possibility in perfoming this act. But a part of me has had a slight change in perception of him as he always came accross as a "manly man" and to see him drop his pants and bend over like that has somewhat triggered that perception. I would have def. licked him down there under a different circumstances. I know he was high and all and maybe that is the reason that he had the courage to ask me this... but still [[TOO friggin weird]]

 

 

 

Going back to bringing this up to his attention and if i should.. what should be said without making him feel uncomfortable?

 

 

I think he was overly excited. Why not tell him you would like to do it but, that it would be more comfortable starting with foreplay first. Just make it simple.

 

This has nothing to do with masculinity. You need to drop this mindset.

[Cheetarah]

Should this subject even be brought up though? I literally have not spoken to him since as I feel too weird. We are pretty pretty comfortable with each other and I feel that i should bring up the subject and perhaps still have a possibility in perfoming this act. But a part of me has had a slight change in perception of him as he always came accross as a "manly man" and to see him drop his pants and bend over like that has somewhat triggered that perception. I would have def. licked him down there under a different circumstances. I know he was high and all and maybe that is the reason that he had the courage to ask me this... but still [[TOO friggin weird]]

 

Going back to bringing this up to his attention and if i should.. what should be said without making him feel uncomfortable?

 

He wasn't exactly a smooth operator about it, that's for sure. I'd tell him straight out "I'd really like to pleasure you this way. The fact that we hadn't talked about it before kind of threw me off, I wasn't expecting your reaction. You seemed really excited about the idea, I didn't know how much you were into this. Maybe when we try it next time, we can incorporate it into oral sex." Then just take the reigns from there.

 

I still don't know what the manly man thing has to do with anything.

[itsallgrand]

Should this subject even be brought up though? I literally have not spoken to him since as I feel too weird. We are pretty pretty comfortable with each other and I feel that i should bring up the subject and perhaps still have a possibility in perfoming this act. But a part of me has had a slight change in perception of him as he always came accross as a "manly man" and to see him drop his pants and bend over like that has somewhat triggered that perception. I would have def. licked him down there under a different circumstances. I know he was high and all and maybe that is the reason that he had the courage to ask me this... but still [[TOO friggin weird]]

 

Going back to bringing this up to his attention and if i should.. what should be said without making him feel uncomfortable?

 

He might be perfectly fine with what went down. It is YOU who seems to be uncomfortable with the whole situation. Which is interesting, really. You seem to have this perception of him as a 'manly man'. And maybe seeing him take to not being in that role 100% has you feeling weird about the whole thing.

 

I'd think it over in your own mind and heart first before talking to him about it, personally. Figure out exactly what bothers you about what happened, and if it is something important and worth being bothered about further, or if it needs more of a shift in your thinking more so. One option, for example, would be to consider this from a different point of view. He has shown you some of his vulnerability - not an easy thing for a manly man guy to do, and something so many women yearn for from their men. You have chosen to in a way, reject him, by not speaking to him now after this. You in a way, rejected his attempt to be open with you and vulnerable.

 

You might want to apologize. That is just one option, opinion. For not talking to him and taking this so seriously. Yes, I would agree with you, it isn't sexy to whoop off the pants and bend over and there ya go! But maybe in some situations it could be, and at the very least, it was adventurous. It's a small detail anyways in what could be something really fun and pleasurable and even bonding between you.

 

That is my take. I would apologize for not speaking to him , and say, I had some conflicting feelings about it, but I don't want you to think I'm upset with you, because I'm not. And I'd basically give him some loving.

 

After a while, once you don't feel so weird and things calm down a bit again, you can approach this topic again. Maybe take a different approach. Maybe you take the lead. Or maybe you slow down too.

 

But it's sure not worth giving the shoulder to this person if you love him. good luck.

[FathomFear]

But a part of me has had a slight change in perception of him as he always came accross as a "manly man" and to see him drop his pants and bend over like that has somewhat triggered that perception. I would have def. licked him down there under a different circumstances.

 

I am getting the vibe that you likely have conservative views on sex/gender and are thus reading too much into this. A guy "getting down on all fours" does not make him any less of a man, just like a woman who sits on top during intercourse is not any less of a woman. Clearly, you're under no obligation to want or even remotely like licking his anus. You should regard it as a sexual incompatibility, not so some sort of grand statement on his masculinity.