PrettyGood Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 So the method he wanted to try on me was this... He (the person I'm dating) asked me to remember the moment when I felt the best in my life, so happy that I could jump out of my happiness and dance, then I should tell him in details, using words how I FELT. At some moments when I was talking he squeezed my wrist a little bit and then relaxed. Then squeezed again and relaxed. It was conscious thing. Then he asked me to remember the moment when I felt the worst in my life, angry, feeling hatred and wish to revenge and then to tell him that situation and FEELING in details. So when I was telling him, he suddenly gently put his hand on my shoulder, then stroked my hand next to fingers and then let go. Some long time ago I was reading that it's like some kind of non-verbal psychological way to convince a person about something or to get trust or to make impression or something? Does someone recognize this psychological method? What had he tried to do by making me tell about my feelings and squeezing my hand or touching my shoulder? Somehow I feel like that's a non-verbal flirting technique. Link to comment
Iakasot Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Who is "he"? Psychologist? Boyfriend? Your cat? Relationship is important for giving advice, because it provides the context. Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 Who is "he"? Psychologist? Boyfriend? Your cat? It's the man I'm dating. Somehow I feel that it's some kind of non-verbal flirting technique Link to comment
PetiteGirl Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Pick up artists use this type of technique to condition their person of interest. Link to comment
Iakasot Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 It's the man I'm dating. Somehow I feel that it's some kind of non-verbal flirting technique Sounds like he's really interested in you, and wants to maximize his chances with you by making sure you form an emotional bond with each other. Are you a picky dater? Link to comment
happpybear Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 this creeps me out, how long have you been dating? if it feels weird it probably is, you know? Link to comment
Iakasot Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 I took the liberty of seeing what kind of other threads you've made, and this is a quote from one. It seems to me like you have a pattern of paranoia. The guy could have simply been trying to get to know you, and you've twisted it into trying to make it seem like he was trying to manipulate you. How would you like it if a guy psychoanalyzed every little thing YOU do? Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 Sounds like he's really interested in you, and wants to maximize his chances with you by making sure you form an emotional bond with each other. Are you a picky dater? Yes, I'm the picky dater, but it's strange, because he doesn't like me as a girlfriend yet, until he's not 100% sure that I'm "the one" he could spend all his life with (that's what he say). So he's dating me and other girls, sleeping with me (I don't know if he does it with other girls but always defend himself that I'm the one he sleeps with at this time. Also he said I'm almost perfect (he goes crazy about my slim figure, oval ass, long slim legs and flat stomach, long hair and cute face features), but I have a very little breasts, so he explored on the internet how much would it cost and suggested to pay for any size I want (if only I want). When I tried to ask why does he want to pay for an expensive surgery for a girl, which is not his girlfriend yet, he said that he feels some kind of "ownership" over me, nevertheless if I sleep with other men or no, and even if I'm not his girlfriend yet, he said - maybe one day you will have a golden ring on your finger from me, you never can really know. So it's like double signals that he likes me and tries to invest into me financially (he never suggested that for other girls) and also that he doesn't want me as his girlfriend yet... So what does it mean? Link to comment
Rangafro Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Pick up artists use this type of technique to condition their person of interest. Bingo. It's dubious as to whether it even works, but they think physically touching you when remembering significant personal details of your life forces an emotional bond that otherwise would not exist. Yes, I'm the picky dater, but it's strange, because he doesn't like me as a girlfriend yet, until he's not 100% sure that I'm "the one" he could spend all his life with (that's what he say). So he's dating me and other girls, sleeping with me (I don't know if he does it with other girls but always defend himself that I'm the one he sleeps with at this time. Also he said I'm almost perfect (he goes crazy about my slim figure, oval ass, long slim legs and flat stomach, long hair and cute face features), but I have a very little breasts, so he explored on the internet how much would it cost and suggested to pay for any size I want (if only I want). When I tried to ask why does he want to pay for an expensive surgery for a girl, which is not his girlfriend yet, he said that he feels some kind of "ownership" over me, nevertheless if I sleep with other men or no, and even if I'm not his girlfriend yet, he said - maybe one day you will have a golden ring on your finger from me, you never can really know. So it's like double signals that he likes me and tries to invest into me financially (he never suggested that for other girls) and also that he doesn't want me as his girlfriend yet... So what does it mean? He's throwing every trick in the book at you. =/ He is intentionally vague in trying to make you feel special yet look like he is available to others as well, which pick up artists think makes them more desirable. Link to comment
Iakasot Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 You know, based on what you've posted in the other topic (you said you have a tendency to sabotage relationships, and twist what guys say), I have a hard time believing you that he really said those things. If he really said he owned you, you would have dumped him.... and quickly. So I have reason to believe that you just want to portray him in a way that makes others say he's bad, so that you would feel more justified in dumping him. But again, if he really said those things, based on what I know about you, I have reason to believe that you would have dumped him already. You might even use this very post to dump him, because all you need is a reason, right? Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 Pick up artists use this type of technique to condition their person of interest. I'm sorry, but can anyone explain me the phrase "pickup artist"? What does it mean? Link to comment
PetiteGirl Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 There are communities of men out there that develop and use techniques and routines to seduce women. A lot of their techniques are derived from NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming). Actually, this will explain it better: link removed I've encountered a few in my life. I would also recommend the book, "The Game" by Neil Strauss if you want to know more. Link to comment
WockaWocka Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 This guy is definitely a pickup artist (PUA) - petitegirl gave you some good references on this, it's basically a set of techniques to try to sleep with as many women as possible for as long as possible without any commitment or intimacy. Based on what you've said here (I haven't read your other threads) he's using some pretty classic techniques to get you to keep sleeping with him. he doesn't like me as a girlfriend yet, until he's not 100% sure that I'm "the one" he could spend all his life with (that's what he say). So he's dating me and other girls, sleeping with me (I don't know if he does it with other girls but always defend himself that I'm the one he sleeps with at this time. Sign #1 that he's a player - he tries to make himself sound more desirable with references to other women. Also he said I'm almost perfect (he goes crazy about my slim figure, oval ass, long slim legs and flat stomach, long hair and cute face features), but I have a very little breasts, so he explored on the internet how much would it cost and suggested to pay for any size I want (if only I want). [/Quote] Sign #2: he indicates that you are great but not perfect. I highly doubt he has ANY intention of paying for surgery for you, what he really wants you to do is make you feel insecure and imperfect because it makes you more insecure and dependent on his opinion. I'm not his girlfriend yet, he said - maybe one day you will have a golden ring on your finger from me, you never can really know. [/Quote] You might also win the lottery, you never know. Sign #3 that he's a player, he mentions the possibility of an LTR occasionally enough to get you to think about it and work toward it without ever really expressing his current feelings. It's a great way to keep you hooked. All in all I'd say it's a bad situation and he's not worth your time. I'd hook up elsewhere if I were you. Good luck! Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted July 28, 2011 Author Share Posted July 28, 2011 Rangafro, good video, but still didn't understand what connection it has with this topic? Link to comment
Rangafro Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 It was just an example of someone who makes a sport of seducing women and the tricks they use, something the guy you are dating appears influenced by. Your friend may not be a habbitual player like Ross Jefferies he might just be looking to get an edge, but it's clear he is being disingenuous. Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted July 28, 2011 Author Share Posted July 28, 2011 It was just an example of someone who makes a sport of seducing women and the tricks they use, something the guy you are dating appears influenced by. Your friend may not be a habbitual player like Ross Jefferies he might just be looking to get an edge, but it's clear he is being disingenuous. You're absolutely right. Yesterday he had shown me some kind of those dating 'subliminal persuasion' tricks. I think you are right. Maybe he's not a professional, but he likes to get a girl attention using some kind of those techniques just to see that he's 'still in the market'. Link to comment
WockaWocka Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 You're absolutely right. Yesterday he had shown me some kind of those dating 'subliminal persuasion' tricks. I think you are right. Maybe he's not a professional, but he likes to get a girl attention using some kind of those techniques just to see that he's 'still in the market'. Bingo! So what now - are you going to kick his insecure arse to the curb? Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 Yeah I already did that. Link to comment
Iakasot Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Bingo! So what now - are you going to kick his insecure arse to the curb? Gotta love the double standard, that it's okay for her to be insecure, but not for him. Looks like my prediction came true that she wanted to find ANY reason to dump him, because from her previous topics she's admitted to doing that in past relationships. Link to comment
PetiteGirl Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Gotta love the double standard, that it's okay for her to be insecure, but not for him. Looks like my prediction came true that she wanted to find ANY reason to dump him, because from her previous topics she's admitted to doing that in past relationships. Iakaasot, the guy she just dumped displayed major signs of a player. According to post #13, the guy even suggested that she gets plastic surgery for her breasts and made empty promises to her, dangling treats in front of her, playing her. Perhaps the reason she dumped the guy in past relationships because the guy she dated was no good. If a relationship makes you feel insecure, you gotta evaluate it with care right? Link to comment
Rangafro Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Gotta love the double standard, that it's okay for her to be insecure, but not for him. Looks like my prediction came true that she wanted to find ANY reason to dump him, because from her previous topics she's admitted to doing that in past relationships. If she is looking to continue deceiving herself then she is not going to admit that she is insecure in relationships then come to a forum and ask for people's input. She suspended judgment and considered the arguments made here. If you don't think this is a good enough reason to dump him, that's your position and you should make your case rather than attacking the topic poster with conjecture and circular logic. Link to comment
hangingout Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Sounds like he was trying to get you into bed.... and it worked! I'm trying that next time. How to get to know someone's complete personal history and a shag on the first date! Link to comment
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