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Great first date...then nothing?


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I'm sure the answer to all this is "he's just not interested"...but I just had to put it out there. I met a guy out Saturday night at the bar. He's younger...23...but seemed to have a lot going for him. Obviously smart, goal oriented, not a party guy, nice...and he asked me out that night for the next day. So we went out the next day and I thought we had a great time. We went to a local festival, then walked around my neighborhood and ended up just sitting in a grassy area for awhile talking. The date lasted 5 hours until he said he should go home because he rode his motorcycle to my place and it was getting chilly and he didn't think to bring a jacket (he had a half hour ride home). He gave me a long hug goodbye and said to let him know if I wanted to do something again. I thought it was a little odd, but the end of the first date is usually awkward. During the date he laughed a lot, made me laugh, no awkward moments, and he would make comments to make me think he was interested. He would talk about showing me around the town near where he lives. We were walking by the bar where we met and I mentioned I was upset that I didn't know Rusted Root was playing right next door. He goes, yea but then you wouldn't have met me! And this was several hours into the date.


The next morning I sent him a text saying I had a really good time and hope to do it again soon. And I have not heard a thing from him. I know he's going out of town tomorrow, so I'm assuming he was interested at all I would have heard from him by now.


Again, I'm assuming the answer is as simple and he's not interested. But I honestly got the feeling that he was on the date. I can usually tell if a guy is not interested at all or if he's undecided. I really thought I'd hear from him. I'm not that upset about it, but pretty confused and a little disappointed so I thought I'd ask for insight. My guy friends have only said that I should have texted him that I put out on the second date lol. So helpful...

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I wouldn't write him off just yet. You only sent him a text. I don't always respond to texts. Sometimes you just forget about it. Or maybe he set up his phone so he doesn't get texts.


He did say to contact him if you wanted to do something again. Basically said the ball is in your court. Do you know if he'll be back by the weekend? I'd look for something cool to do, give him a call tomorrow & see if he wants to hang out. If he doesn't answer, leave a message. If you don't hear back from him, that's that. But I think it sounded like an awesome date, I don't think he's ignoring you. But don't send him any more texts for now.


I once went on a couple dates with this guy. I saw him around for a long time before I gave him my number, we had a pretty good time but he said he wasn't looking for a relationship because he just got out of a 5 year relationship or something. Fair enough. After the second date I either called or texted twice I think. Never heard from him again. I wasn't offended or even disappointed really, but I did wonder if he was ok since he never responded at all. Until I saw him around a year or so later. It'd make things so much easier if people would just tell the other person when to back off, if that's what they want.

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He may be busy. Some people are. Give him time. Just as us guys give a girl time. Too much action too soon can be seen as too desperate. Too little action spread out too much can also be seen as not interested. Dating isnt black and white.

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I feel like if he wanted to go out again, he would have at least acknowledged the text. Yea he put the ball in my court, but I texted him that I wanted to do it again. I think he said he'd be back on Saturday...but I don't know when. There's an art festival this weekend but I'm volunteering at it in the morning and already have plans to walk around with a friend after that. I wanted to go with him, but once I didn't hear back from him at all I asked my friend.


I'd like to think there's a potential to go out again, but I feel silly contacting him again after being ignored like that.


Thank you for the responses by the way!

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He gave me a long hug goodbye and said to let him know if I wanted to do something again. I thought it was a little odd,

I agree....Weird for him to ask you to call him...it put you into the vulnerable position.


Funny thing though....it was a long date, he made an effort to get to know you,...who knows? He mightn't be in a hurry but he could still be interested.


My guy friends have only said that I should have texted him that I put out on the second date lol. So helpful...

I already love your guy friends...great sense of humour!!

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LOL I have a love hate relationship with them for sure. They are hysterical but not helpful! Although one of them did say that he thinks that if he were to go on a date with me, he would have no idea where I stand. I'm not overly flirty or anything. LOL he said I didn't twirl my hair enough. But he has a point that I'm not the most flirty girl out there. Just not my style. That's why I sent the text the next morning, to try to make it clear I was interested.

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Personally? I like playing ping pong with girls.


A girl asks me out, i pay for it.

I ask her for a second date, she pays for it.

She asks to call her, i call her.

She tells me she wants more, i give her more.

She wants to kiss, i let her.

I want to make out, she lets me.


Not specifically in that order or fashion of course, but you get the general idea. If a girl feels the need to initiate something with me before i do, great! Otherwise, i might be the one to do the initiating.

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Thank you, I don't feel like I did anything wrong. I mean if that turned him off, well he's not right for me. But he did tell me to make the next move. So I did. And I can understand him not being interested...if it weren't for how he acted on the date. It doesn't match up. I know I wouldn't spend 5 hours with someone I didn't like. ONE time I ended up on a 12 hour date...but it's because he wouldn't take me home! This guy could have left at any point.

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Like Annie I've had those one date wonders too -there was one first meet where he stayed for 3 hours over coffee, then he asked if he could walk me home so I said sure but that I was actually going to stop off at the supermarket- he asked if he could join me and I joked that that was probably too fast for a first date. Of course I analyzed that later as far as whether it was a turn off but he seemed to get the joke. I made it clear that I would like to see him again -I believe he said he would call -and he didn't. I didn't call him. Sorry about your frustration!

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Relax! *gives her a chill pill*


If it will come, it will come. Be patient! All good things come to those who wait!


I'm one to believe that all good things come to those who take action

But I have to agree with everyone else in this case: you made it clear that you wanted to see him again and now the ball is in his court. Are you sure that he even texts though? Have you exchanged text messages before?

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