Won't live with me until we're married???

[abitbroken]

It is a lot to ask of someone to move to another state and uproot their life. I have read of a few women who have the response of "going back to mother's house" when they get pregnant instead of staying with near where their boyfriend is. If you are even thinking about marriage, there has to be a "we" and an "us." If you both had sat down and come to the conclusion that TN would be best for both of you, then so be it. It is intimidating however for a boyfriend or a girlfriend to hear that the other one's parents have bought a house, etc. I was in that situation where my ex's mother wanted to buy a condo when we were having problems with our house. I refused to go through with that because it would be her house and she could always say I was out, or just drop by and act like she owns the place (and does). It is one thing of a woman gets pregnant and the father of the child abandons her or they mutually decide after a one night stand that they don't want to raise the baby together and she decides to go through with the pregnancy. But if they see themselves together and neither of them is a minor than deciding something together is imperative.

 

That's just my two cents.

[sherryberrypie]

IMO, this relationship couldn't be further from "ready for marriage"

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I agree. I will also say that many new couples start off with a "starter home" which is much smaller than a 4 bedroom home..and then as time goes on they work their way up to a larger home. The very large home, nanny, bills being paid, stuff being bought and basically things being handed on a silver platter would most certainly make someone uncomfortable if they come from a lifestyle where you work hard for your success. It is not simply a question of "emasculation"...it is a matter of a person's values and principles. Sometimes the best way to help people is to do it subtly and not all these major grand gestures at once so that it becomes overwhelming and it makes the person feel like a charity case. I can see where he is coming from.

[Applewhite]

Another reason for him opting to live out could be because he doesn't want to give up the getting drunk/smoking/bar hopping lifestyle.

[Saffron_]

Another reason for him opting to live out could be because he doesn't want to give up the getting drunk/smoking/bar hopping lifestyle.

 

Could be I s'pose. But would a guy who didn't wanna stop doing these things really push for marriage?