Why is it bad for a woman to have sex outside of a relationship?

[Allyo]

So why do most women see it as a bad thing to have sex outside of a relationship?

 

I say most women, and maybe I am wrong, but it seems to me most women feel this way.

 

I know a lot comes into the picture - religion, morals, health reasons, etc. I’m just curious as to what people have to say…

[Moontiger]

Its not my cup of tea. There need to be strong emotions for me to have sex with someone. But, for others I go with the "Whatever floats your boat" mentality. My best-friend (when we first meet) would have sex outside of a relationship but she always handled herself with dignity.

[Callacova]

Pregnancy, plus abundant sex lowers womens performed value (general opinion). If you want to attribute it to instinct, pairing with one guy would make more sense, and that might be why it weirds out other people.

[Capricorn3]

I see no point in being in a relationship if I still want to "live the single life" and have sex with anyone/everyone else.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Well, nowadays its hard to find a woman who never had a fling or casual sex. So I don't think most women find it "bad". I personally think the major reason that many women don't do it or don't admit they did it, is that they are afraid of being judged by males. Our society is still highly male oriented and a female wanting/needing sex is still not officially recognized.

[-Sanguine-]

Funny, I was just thinking about this the other day.

 

For myself, I have found that I do not crave sex unless I am in a loving relationship. Yeah, I think about it sometimes and miss it, but I do not want to have it unless I am with someone I really care about. The thought of having sex with someone I just met or someone who I do not see myself being in a relationship with is VERY unappealing to me. I guess sex and emotions are very much a package deal for me. I wouldn't enjoy having sex with someone if there wasn't strong feelings there.

 

I know a lot of girls (and I am not judging in any way) who just want to have sex for fun - because the act of sex is what they want. But I want an emotional bond with someone. The sex is 1000x times better for me that way. In fact, even just kissing random guys is not enjoyable for me. Maybe I'm weird, haha.

[OptomisticGirl]

Because I, personally, want faithfulness from my partner.

[bulletproof]

I'm a woman and don't necessarily see it as "bad".

 

I personally feel that I have done the sex-without-love thing and it's fine, but not ideal for me. I do know guys who feel the same- that it's ultimately kind of empty. I also feel that low self-esteem seems to play a part in the willingness to give such an intimate part of oneself to another, with no emotional component. Or at least it has for me in the past.

 

Don't get me wrong, I still see the occasional person that I think, Damn, I'd love to be with him for one night. But I know by now that it will feel good while it's happening, and probably pretty lousy after the fact. Kind of like eating too much.

[dramallama]

I don't think it's "bad" but I think the wisest choice is to wait until you are in a committed relationship and have been for a while AND you have both been tested. There are too many negatives if you have sex with just anyone, and it's a bit "ew" IMO.

[rosephase]

Ha I didn't read that well.

 

I have had sex outside of relationships. I really enjoy sex and if I find a partner that feels the same way, that bodies are fun and we respect each other, I don't feel like there is any reason not to.

[90_hour_sleep]

throw in my male two cents.. completely agree...and relate to this post...all of it.

 

having had the 1000x better sex...it's hard to imagine going back.

[MicaGirl]

I feel that, it is totally not fair. For people to judge a woman for having sex outside a relationship. I for instance, have a very high sex drive. It is biological. I started masturbating when I was 12 years old, and no my uncle nor father raped me or any of that stuff. So, I have always been curious, and have always had a high sex drive. In fact, some days, I feel like I just need it.

 

Now, society for sure judges women based on how many guys they have slept with, and whether it was outside of a relationship. But what if for example, some girls dont find the man for them for a long time, say 10 years? does that mean they shouldnt get sexual pleasure and fulfillment. I think they should.

 

Most important thing is, how do you the girl, feel afterwards? If you feel like you regret it, or you feel bad after, it is best not do it, and I think emotions are more important and more vulnurable than sex drive, especially if u are sensitive to begin with already.

 

My advice, to all the girls is listen to ur heart and gut. If you feel bad after it, then perhaps its best not do it. If however, you are okay with it, then for sure, go ahead and do it.

 

For me personally, as much as I do love getting pleasured by a man and having sex. Unfortunately, due to my super sensitive nature and emotions, I have learned that it is best to abstain from intercourse and sexual intimacy with a guy outside a relationship, just because afterwards I do feel bad. I dont know why, but I just do.

 

Society however, I think should encourage woman to be okay with their sexuality, and if they do feel the need, they should do it, because we all have needs and sexual needs are important too. Unfortunately we live in a society that is still very biased and sexist, so I think this will not happen for many years to come, but hey, you can always create ur own little society, or world, with ur ownn values and ideas

 

Thanks everyone!

 

-Y

[dramallama]

Women are naturally meant to be biologically picky, because they have to carry their baby for 9 months, compared to a man who can have almost limitless babies within that time. So that probably explains why it's "ok" for a man to have more partners, and if a woman does the same, she's seen as * * * * ty.

[Oneironaut]

It's not bad for anyone to have sex in any manner that they choose, as long as it's with another consenting adult.

 

I don't believe in the religious edict of, "no sex before marriage", because I would no sooner pledge myself to a man for life without making sure we have sexual chemistry than I would spend $50,000 on a new car without test driving it.

 

Sex is one of the best pleasures in life...as long as it's done in moderation, like most things, only the anal among us could find it, "bad".

[doyathink]

Im past that phase in life. Sex with someone I love is priceless....but I cant see why its unacceptable...who cares really what someone may think about what you like?!

[CorpseGrinder]

I see nothing wrong with it, but it is seen as bad because "society" says it is bad. But the thing about society is that it is full of mindless sheep who are slaves to the media.

[Capricorn3]

Ugh. I think I misread/misunderstood the question. I understood it as "when already in a relationship, why it it bad to have sex outside that relationship". ooops, my mistake.

[doyathink]

I see nothing wrong with it, but it is seen as bad because "society" says it is bad. But the thing about society is that it is full of mindless sheep who are slaves to the media.

 

I agree............

[BriarRose]

I assume you mean "outside a relationship" as in single, not as in infidelity? Anyways, I see nothing wrong with that at all. Personally, I prefer sex within a relationship and when not in a relationship, I prefer to wait, rather than have casual sex, but I see nothing immoral with it.

[generaldiscord]

I think sex outside a relationship is great. I think that women shouldn't be held to different standards than men, and that if a bit of no strings attatched horizontal mambo will take the edge off for you, that's great.

 

BUT, I think women in particular are guilty of trying to find a relationship by doling out sex. That doesn't work and it's psychologically bad for you. I do discourage that behavior.

[marmar1]

its personal choice, people have needs i guess. i did it a few times but i am past that phase! i wouldnt go back to it. glad i tried and gave that a chance but being in love and having sex with that person i think is much better. You become more comfortable and it has meaning.

[BriarRose]

I would never judge someone for this. One shouldn't have to go without sex (if they choose) simply because they have yet to meet the love of their love. It's not like you wave a wand and POOF you are in a committed relationship.