WithLove Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Glad to hear you're feeling better. Anxiety will likely be a constant for a little while, so please make sure you take care of yourself! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 Michael Moore , what a bag of hammers, I could say more but it's not fit for most people's eyes or consumption. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 Today is the first day of testing for the semester. My son has an interview for his test for Co Op. Then he has a math exam on Tuesday. Then that is it and the new semester starts. He is really upset about going to see granddad and wants to stay home. I told him no and told him that it was important. And that no I can't in good conscience leave him at home alone. He had a real hissy fit about wanting to stay because he said he met a new friend at his card competitions and wants to stay to play Vanguard. He said he promised the kid he'd be there. I said R ,your granddad is more important than somebody you just met. Then he burst into tears and said it's not that I don't care mom I just don't want to see granddad like that. I'm afraid mom I don't want to see granddad get angry and I don't want to see him like that. I said I know honey I know it's because you care too much not that you don't care. And then he burst out crying some more and actually came and sat on my knee and curled up like when he was little. ( something that is very hard to do now since he's so much bigger than me) A counselor who treats autistic kids suggested that I role-played what is going to happen at the hospital with him so he knows how to respond different situations. I am thinking of telling the nurses station that he is autistic so if something doesn't go as planned they don't call security or something if he has a meltdown because if they call security he will just lose his mind. He's now at the age where he can be arrested for having a meltdown in public. And if he's distressed that as a greater chance of happening, the meltdown I mean. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 Hopefully this doesn't turn into a situation where he loses his first grandparent. By his age I'd already lost two grandparents. My husband never met one of his grandfathers because he passed away before my husband was even born. And one of his grandmothers passed away when he was 18 months old. And his other two grandparents he only ever saw twice in his life because they lived in the UK. The same year I met my husband was the same year his last grandparent died, his father's mom, Maude. She was 90 when she passed away of Parkinsons . She was born in 1899. Link to comment
WithLove Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Darling, you've got to pick your battles when it comes to meltdowns. If it's a place where they'll call security if he has one, I would let them know ahead of time about the autism. I'm so sorry about the health problems. I hope your son decides to go and see his granddad. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 For sure and he doesn't have a lot of meltdowns really. We probably have a 95% reduction from when he was little. He is under a lot of stress right now with school exams ,his grandpa and trying to make new friends. I also have to tell the nurses in a way that's respectful to him. He doesn't want people knowing his diagnosis he's extremely private. So it's a new stage in life where I have to walk a fine line between protecting him when he can't protect himself and respecting his rights as an emerging adult person. Right now he has legal right over his medical information. At the same time we know that many disabled and or mentally ill people are treated like trash when people don't understand what's happening. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 I am on an Aspie forum and a few people have asked me if I am Aspie even though I tell everyone I'm not. I know 100% that I'm not but I think I have picked up Aspie traits though just in learning to make my son's life a little easier. Almost like sympathy pains I have taken on some of his characteristics to a much smaller degree so that his life is easier. Kind of know what I mean? He always tells me you understand me so easily mom other people don't. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 My husband meets with his career manager tomorrow morning. please say we are staying here please say we are staying here please say we are staying here. Link to comment
luminousone Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Your son with his tender heart... So very sweet. Yes it will be difficult for him, but these things are part of life... Hopefully he can hold it together while in the hospital. Good luck to him on his exams! One if my friends is a teacher and she has been tutoring high school students after school. They were all getting ready for their exams this week. Then onward to a new semester. My son had his exams before the holidays - apparently they are on a trimester system. Not sure what I think about that... Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 Your son with his tender heart... So very sweet. Yes it will be difficult for him, but these things are part of life... Hopefully he can hold it together while in the hospital. Good luck to him on his exams! One if my friends is a teacher and she has been tutoring high school students after school. They were all getting ready for their exams this week. Then onward to a new semester. My son had his exams before the holidays - apparently they are on a trimester system. Not sure what I think about that... Thank you. Yes , he does have a very sweet and gentle heart. It just hides behind his monotone voice and blank expression. But he is incredibly sweet and very very tenderhearted. If his "Ted " ( he calls his granddad by his name because he couldn't say granddad when he was little )does pass away this will be the fourth funeral he's had to attend. He attended his great-grandmother's funeral when he was four, his brother's funeral when he was nine and his great grandfather's funeral when he was 15. And you are right it is a part of life. I understand his discomfort but it's something we all have to face. He's not too sure about how the interview went. but he's really not good at those. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 Oh God I got called in for tomorrow morning. I'm just gonna have to tell him to stop by my work and tell me what happen with the career mangler. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 I don't want to move I don't want to move I don't want to move. God please let us stay on this base. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Sending vibes sending vibes sending vibes Adding if a move occurs it will bring unknown blessings Home vibes home vibes home vibes home vibes... Link to comment
Fudgie Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I am on an Aspie forum and a few people have asked me if I am Aspie even though I tell everyone I'm not. I know 100% that I'm not but I think I have picked up Aspie traits though just in learning to make my son's life a little easier. Almost like sympathy pains I have taken on some of his characteristics to a much smaller degree so that his life is easier. Kind of know what I mean? He always tells me you understand me so easily mom other people don't. I've been asked a few times in real life over the years if I am Aspie or autistic or something and I'm not. I wonder if I have picked up traits from my siblings because I grew up with them. I dunno, do you think it's possible? I think it may explain why I've had difficulty connecting with people on deep levels over the years as friends. I am not sure. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Absolutely ,I think we pick up emotional characteristics of those we love and live with. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Sending vibes sending vibes sending vibes Adding if a move occurs it will bring unknown blessings Home vibes home vibes home vibes home vibes... It's true if we move it would be a whole new adventure. But I really don't want the adventure . I have moved 37 times since I was born and it's become a nasty word for me. My son also hates change. When we move to here he went completely bananas. He tried to jump out of a moving vehicle going 100 km an hour and was smashing himself in the head with a hard plastic toy, you know those big heavy plastic dinosaur toys . Not to mention the fact that our parents are getting older. I would have to move I know it would just be done with a heavy heart. And job wise I would have to start over again. My son would have to go to a different college than the one he wants. My husband's meeting is in 45 minutes... I mean two bases in Ontario wouldn't be so bad. If we go to CFB Petawawa my husband's aunt lives up there I can always work for her. Plus we would be with family. If we go to CFB Borden that's only an hour and a half from back home. But if we go to Winnipeg or Edmonton or Gander we would only be coming back home once a year. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Ok, meeting is now. Vibes!!!!!!! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 I'm just so proud of my boy . Yesterday he came up to me and said hey mom can we at least leave my new friend a note so that he doesn't think I just ditched him. I said that's no problem we can leave him a note. He said ,"great now I feel better about going mom." I said ,"no problem son ,thank you for being cooperative and thanks for understanding. " if given the time to process and consider he always comes up with the right answer. He just needs the time because his processing is just that much slower. And every new situation that is out of his routine I have to go over what will happen many many times. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Ok, meeting is now. Vibes!!!!!!! Oh yeah!! I'm getting very nervous. And I have to be at work in 50 minutes myself. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 I started getting another migraine last night I know I know. My son said mom you've been having them continuously for three weeks what's wrong with you. But usually I use a golf ball for massage on my neck and my back if no one's here. What I do is I lay on the floor and I fit the golf ball under my shoulder blade ,the one that's affected. And that causes enough deep pressure to massage the muscles. This time I fit it into the small niche in the shoulder joint where the nerves run through. The last few times I've done that and the migraine almost immediately goes away. However I need to press it extremely hard into the joint for about 15 minutes. That arm has nerve damage so maybe that's where these migraines are coming from. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Being posted out. Too upset to talk right now. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I'm sorry to hear that . Since your husband has been in the military for a long while now and probably has some seniority, is there any way he can appeal the decision? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Hey Ren. It isn't about seniority it is only about where they need you. You sign on the dotted line knowing they can send you anywhere in the world. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Well ,I'm over my upset now at least for now. They haven't told us where we are going. Is that we are possibly going by summer. We are trying to stay in Ontario but we could end up anywhere. All we can do is make the best of anywhere we end up. Link to comment
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