My Views On Sex Make Me Feel Very Un-American...Am I Alone?

[newwave]

Do you feel this for all your past sexual relationships NW are just the losers?

 

No, not all my past sexual experiences, but certainly most. Most were guys I never should have gone out with. Most treated me like dirt and because I wanted a boyfriend I put up with it for awhile. The one guy who treated me well (and never asked for sex) is the one I really want to be with. Sad and ironic but heartbreaking. But at the time I didn't give him a chance because he was "boring" and wanted marriage and children instead of sex.

[SapphireNoir10]

Im confused.

 

Your fiance has had sex. Has children.

 

So by the logic if you have sex before marriage the marriage doesnt mean anything. On his part. It wont mean anything.

 

I think its only 'special' if both parties have waited personally.

 

I like sex. I will only have it in an exclusive relationship. If I'd waited to have it with my ex I would have had a miserable marriage because he didnt like sex.

[truegrit]

This is my PERSONAL view but I would NOT want to be a virgin on my wedding nite......

[bobbydigital83]

I actually am a guy who doesn't nessecarily believe in saving ones self for marriage BUT I am on the conservative side. I am not interested in one-night stands, friends with benifits or anything else like that. I enjoy sex with someone I have a emotional bond with. Sex is not appealing when its just physical and without any emotions. Most of my friends are into that friends with benifits and stuff but I have passed on it and always will! Stay who you are regardless. One time I almost puked when my buddy was walking down the stairs from his one night stand.

 

Hopefully one day, I will find a girl who has the same beliefs.

[Lamour detruit]

I don't think waiting makes it any more special than not waiting, nor is one way better than the other. What matters to me is not when or which number, but the person you do it with. Giving yourself completely does not equal being a virgin. Giving yourself completely equals being in a loving relationship where both parties are ready to give themselves completely without holding back anything. It does not relate to a number. If you find that person you click with, it will be amazing, whether it is your first or 20th time.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yes Rouge but you can't someone else they 'have only had sex' unless you have had it yourself and experience it. That is where my argument comes into play. You can't tell CC or me or anyone else that 'they have only had sex' and 'not made love' when you haven't experienced the difference in the two. That is the point I'm trying to make. Not discrediting you.

 

While agree with your argument that someone can't make a judgement on another person only ever having sex rather than making love, I disagree with your explanation as to why Rouge can't draw that conclusion. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she never experienced the difference between the two. It is because she is not part of your life and therefore doesn't know the relationship you have with your partner. One does not need to have first hand experience in something in order to have knowledge and insight. If that were the case then, for example, only victims of earthquakes would be able to properly help and understand those who have been through earthquakes..and yet many earthquake victims have had a world of help and guidance and empathy from those who have never been through an earthquake. By pulling the "you don't understand because you have never had sex" card, you are showing an equally judgemental attitude that you are criticizing Rouge of having. She can't judge your sexual relationships simply because she does not know how you and your partner (or previous partners) relate to each other. She is not a part of your life and therefore doesn't know all the details..and it is for that reason only that she can't judge the nature of your sexual interactions.

[avman]

Yes, it is lol! I like active debates. I answered the question but I can't control how someone feels about my answer. This is a sensitive topic so I expected that someone would dislike me afterward.

 

Rouge we are not a debating society here. This thread isn't asking for advice. It is asking for an open argument and we are not the forum for that.

 

This thread now closed.