EX has blocked me.

[water_baby]

Hello everybody,

 

This isn't a complicated story. Me and the ex in question have been broken up for around three years. I thought there was no bad blood.

 

I was aware of his presence on facebook because he used to always show up in my "people you might know" section as we have 22 friends in common. I always saw his profile sitting there but never thought much of it.

 

One day my current partner saw him at an event and mentioned it to me. They didn't speak. The next day i logged on and noticed my exes profile wasn't in my "people you might know". I didn't think much of it. Then i noticed every time i logged in it was gone. I did a search and low and behold i have been blocked.

 

I dont have a problem with any of my exes. Including him. I guess i'm surprised.

 

to anybody out there, please can you tell me:

 

1. With years gone past do you still hate your ex

2. Why might my ex block me?

3. It did make me think was i really that bad?

 

 

Thank you

 

P.s, I do not have feelings for him, i am very much moved on. Just because i have a new partner, it doesn't mean i no longer ponder my past. Just wanted to make that clear

[BriarRose]

I find indifference is the worst thing - and clearly, this guy is not indifferent to you. Blocking is a very active move, and unless you have been hounding him, maybe there are still some lingering feelings, I don't know. OR perhaps his new partner blocked you (if he has one)? Who broke up with who?

[water_baby]

He broke up with me. I was upset but i guess i felt okay about the situation maybe a month later as i knew we wasn't right for each- other.

Around 9 month later he text me apologising for the way he was and hoped i was okay. I responded in a very nice manner, told him no worries. That was years ago.

 

When he broke up with me i was still lovely to him as i thought he wasn't a bad guy. But he rejected my friendship after telling me he wants me in his life as a friend so i cut contact and blocked him. I have since had a new facebook account so he was not blocked on the new account. I didn't see the point in blocking him as so much time had past. I didn't have that anger.

 

Its a little crappy to know he is still in that place. He left me. He didn't want to be friends. He was quite rude to me at the end but i understand now that he just wanted out.

 

I have literally never contacted him on facebook the blocking seems harsh to me.

[Tanzi]

It could be any number of reasons. Perhaps a girlfriend doesn't like him having any kind of connection with any of his exes. Perhaps he kept seeing your profile in the "people you may know" section too and decided that it really wasn't necessary to be reminded of his past. Who knows. The point is why are you even letting it take up space in your mind if you are over him? I can understand you may be a little surprised ... my ex-husband recently deleted me from Facebook too and I have no idea why. We have 3 children together so we have no choice but to remain in contact with each other so for our own sakes and that of our children we have managed to rebuild and maintain some kind of "friendly" relationship out of the carnage that was our break-up so, yes, it was a surprise to see that I had been deleted from his Facebook but, nevertheless, its not bothering me and I don't really care to know the reason why. His actions (unless it affects our children) are of little consequence to me. As long as you are happy now I wouldn't let it worry you.

[lavenderdove]

They change the methods of doing permissions on FB all the time to tighten them up... maybe he just changed his own permissions to a higher level so you can't see everyone or only those of a certain status. Or maybe he just cleaned house to remove all those people as friends that he really doesn't have much contact with. There is lots of 'noise' on FB if you have a lot of 'friends' there and everyone is constantly posting.

 

Maybe he's just simplying his life by cleaning up his FB account to 'true' friends (i.e., those actively in his life now). I've seen many people do this, going from hundreds of 'friends' down to 10 or 20 if they decide they don't want to broadcast their lives to the universe or don't want lots of updates clogging their box from people they don't have much to do with.

[water_baby]

@a-little-blue - I'm not really letting it. I'm just reacting to my situation. I'm complex and i'm a thinker so i thought i would just pop on this forum to kind of hash it out. Its silly really but i liked the fact that i didn't hate any of my exes and they didn't hate me. It was only lately that i made amends with my first long time love of 6 years. It was a nice feeling. I had total closure. Its not devastating me. You are right though, i'm glad it doesn't hurt anymore. It just wiped that smug look off my face.

 

@lavenderdovem -I was haven't been on his friends list for years. I have so few friends on my account he used to show in my 'people you might know' when i noticed him gone i actively searched him and i have definitely been blocked.

 

- i think what is stuck in my head is the idea of him seeing my ex and within 12 hours i'm blocked. The very reminder of me prompted him to go home search me and then blocks me. The fact that i conjured up such bad feelings that he felt the need to block me after all these years of no contact. I guess i'll never know

[TidalWave]

so many years, and I wonder how you're still not over him.

[lavenderdove]

i have what i think is a very good policy of not wasting a lot of time and mental energy on anyone who is not an active (and happy) part of my life.

 

regardless of why he did this, it is his own life and he has his own reasons, and he's not in your life at all at this point other than via a voyeuristic vehicle like FB. Really, FB is all narcissistic blather mostly, so why do you need to know anything about him at this point since he is not part of your life...

 

i'd just say, 'oh well' and spend your efforts thinking about someone really relevant to your current life rather than wasting time on FB nonsense.

[Outshined]

1. With years gone past do you still hate your ex

No.. . ...of course some I liked better than others.........some I didn't like the way they acted in our relationships

2. Why might my ex block me?

Respect for the wishes of a significant other..........

3. It did make me think was i really that bad?

I would let that go immediately.......I think you shouldn't read TOO much into it.

[water_baby]

so many years, and I wonder how you're still not over him.

 

@Tidalwave - I don't think you read my post at all. I never said i still have feeling for him. You are wrong and completely off the mark.

 

@Outshined Thank you, I guess i should be happy that i have no hard feelings. I really like what you wrote in your first answer. That is a nice outlook on past relationships.

 

Thank you everybody for your responses.

[ForumGuy]

1. With years gone past do you still hate your ex

2. Why might my ex block me?

3. It did make me think was i really that bad?

1) Never hated any of them, didn't want anything to do with some hate

 

2)Your ex probably blocked you because he misses you and knows your with someone else -OR- something was said at the event that you are not aware of

 

3)Don't think you were bad....He's the one who bailed on you...it was his choice.

[water_baby]

........... something was said at the event that you are not aware of

 

Thank you ForumGuy, I did think this too. I grilled my partner about this and he swore they barely made eye contact.

 

Thank you for your response

[MakeItCount]

You sure he blocked you and not suspended account? Because I'm about to suspend mine too, for me it's the final step in truly healing lol

[abitbroken]

@Tidalwave - I don't think you read my post at all. I never said i still have feeling for him. You are wrong and completely off the mark.

 

.

'

 

I disagree because if you didn't have feelings, you wouldn't care about this Facebook nonsense. And you a sound slightly defensive ("you are wrong and completely off the mark.) "feelings" don't mean you want to get back together with someone or want their hot body. It can be something else that causes a reaction in you.

[Longview01]

Why do you care?

 

Seriously stop worrying over what some guy you dated 3 years ago is getting upto and thinking and live your own life

 

Damn I hate Facebok so so much

[paradiselost]

He is resentful and bitter that you moved on and are happy with your new guy and seeing him made him realise this especially if he is single and looking.

 

Even though he left you some ex's still want you to beg and crave them and the fact that you are indifferent and even happier is a knock to his self esteem so he would be resentful.

 

He blocked out of hurt and to hurt.

 

He is an immature dumper