TheDoctor Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 Hey most of you know my story. But for those of you that don't I'll just give you a quick insight. I met a girl who wasn't over her ex boyfriend ( if you want to call him that, the truth is he just slept with her and never considered them together AND THEY ONLY DATED FOR 2 WEEKS!) and infact she was obsessed with him. She came into this relationship witout me really knowing shes obsessed with him. The tone of our relationship was that I was her "dream" bf in the aspect of looks, money, love. And she always loved me obsessivley and threatned to kill herself if we ever even broke up. Then after about a year she called a bluff breakup with me because her grandmother passed away and she started to question alot of things and wanted to hang out with guy friends which I was somewhat opposed to because she broke my trust. In desperation and in a lost in confusion moment I said go ahead talk to whomever you'd like I dont care. Eventually, for no reason at all her mother turned agaisnt me over a political difference and finally me and this girl just snapped at eachother and we broke up. I told her I never wanted to talk to her again and that Im sure she has feelings for her ex. She said no she doesnt and she was in shock and I left. She nor I have made any attempt to contact eachother since and the word is she went back to her ex and her ex slept with her and left her again for his own ex gf. In a way that was closure...but in alot of ways it hurts she never came back to just say hi or goodbye or anything. This girl became VERY 2 face to me, my friends, and to everyone around her. She is one of the most disliked people I know from everyone and I can see why. Im at a point now where its been 4 months of NC and no attempt of contact and its really confusing me on how this girl whom WHENEVER we'd breakup would cry hard and threaten to kill herself didnt come back after 4 months. Will she ever comeback? I dunno.... just lost with my angle with this breakup. I was the greatest and most genuine guy to her and she traded me in for that loser. Need some major insight please Link to comment
TheDoctor Posted July 9, 2004 Author Share Posted July 9, 2004 Oh and I forgot to add since our breakup shes blocked me from the internet 2 weeks after our breakup ( no one was iming or calling her for her to block me) shes made some online journal where she praised our breakup and that shes free. Then a few days later talked about whats the purpose of life and how shes going to try to change herself and not dwell on the past or worry about the future, then her last journal entry stated shes bustin a "mariah carrey" shes going crazy I guess. I dont know ....whys she such a loser? Link to comment
Princess777 Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 Greetings. I think it's best to let this one go. I wouldn't bother contacting her.... she sounds a little mentally unstable and immature, from what you're stating. Why are you keeping tabs on her? Do you want her back because you love her for who she really is, inside, or do you want her back because you can't have her? You talk about how undesirable she is, etc..... why would you want to be with someone like that? These are questions you should ask yourself and try to come to some answers before you drive yourself nuts over this girl. It sounds like if you lower the drawbridge and let her back into your life, you'd most likely regret it later and you might be asking us later how to get rid of her....... think long and hard before doing anything. good luck! Link to comment
TheDoctor Posted July 9, 2004 Author Share Posted July 9, 2004 Princess, thanks for the advice. But the funny part is I DONT WANT HER BACK. I wouldnt take her back at gunpoint...but Im just in desperate need of closure from her and just want to like see her come back and say she regrets her decision to let me go. In my heart I believe she does regret it but I just dont know...I was the most caring, loving guy to her and to me its just insane how someone can replace you like that. I think Im a little sad because a crush I just had somewhat blew over. So Im just questioning my status as a single individual. But as I stated earlier I dont want her back. Just want to talk and I know if I go back to her it wont be a mature convo and just a regretting situation but if she comes to me itll be much better because shell be ready to talk Link to comment
Princess777 Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 OK I understand better now...... well, the way I see it, you have two choices then. You can either be miserable and wait around for her to call to make you feel more secure in yourself, or you can chalk it up as a learning experience and know in your own mind that you are just as lovable and wonderful as you always have been, and that some people just don't match up with you. If she doesn't see you for what you are, it is NOT your fault. You do not need verification from this person that you are a good person or that you are lovable. Once we depend on any outside source (outside of ourselves) to make us feel lovable or complete or whole, we are setting ourselves up for failure because inevitably, people will let you down, things change, etc. The only one you can rely on is yourself, in the long term. Your self esteem is just low because you didn't get a clear answer as to why she's acting goofy. Who cares..... she doesn't determine whether or not you live, love, or get up the next day. The sun will still shine without her and the fact that you don't want her back should tell you that you don't really care about her opinion.... so let it go and learn from this. Don't take it personally, believe me, if you do, you'll hurt for a long time. Link to comment
TheDoctor Posted July 9, 2004 Author Share Posted July 9, 2004 I strongly agree princess...thanks alot. The only hard part is she was sooo depressed and sad when wed break up...she couldnt get through 1 day without me. Howd she get through 4 months? Link to comment
mephesto56 Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 How old is she? She sounds to me like she is very immature. I can relate to you in some ways. I have dated a guy for 2 years and he is treating me kind of strangely, he told people he hates me and he blocked me on AIM for no reason, and dumped me but then came back after a week. But for you to get closure, maybe you should email her and call her, and just ask her how she is. She sounds pretty bizarre. Link to comment
TheDoctor Posted July 9, 2004 Author Share Posted July 9, 2004 Memphesto shes 20 yrs old.....I dont wanna go back to talk to her..I know itll just be an ego thing for her insecure self Link to comment
TheDoctor Posted July 9, 2004 Author Share Posted July 9, 2004 I dont get it though guys...I dont want her back so why do I feel such a deep hurtful urge to talk to her? Im so lost this past week. I guess its another down phase Link to comment
Blue Skittles Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 A friend of mine recently suggested closure with my ex too. I guess some people need it and some people don't. What I don't get, was wasn't the closure the break up? I don't know. I think you should just let it go - what if the 'closure' upsets you even more? I will give you some food for thought though - There were two times in my life that I dumped my ex boyfriends (one was a one month relationship, the other was a 3 year relationship) I was the one to break up with them - and I left them in a state where they were upset, and confused, and I meant for it to go smoothly but it didn't. Do you know what? I thought about them all the time, I didn't contact them, because I thought they were too mad at me for breaking up. I was always thinking about what would things be like if I didn't break up with them. I know in my heart for some reason it was the right decision, but I still to this day think about these 2 guys. I guess what I'm saying is, its for the best. and just because she isn't calling you doesn't mean shes not thinking about you. But let it go - be the strong one. And trust me, you don't WANT her to call you again, its just going to hurt even more. Link to comment
TheDoctor Posted July 9, 2004 Author Share Posted July 9, 2004 Thanks blue skittles....I agree yet its so hard. See we broke up and neither of us made an attempt to get back with eachother. Ive never heard of this EVER happening. Ive heard so many well i tried to call her/him and they didnt pick up and so its nc...this is the real deal. Neither of us made any attempt. She went back to her ex and he left her as usual....a part of me just wishes she would talk to me like hey im sorry etc but I know her mom owns her. Your very right...I dunno why today of all days im so hurt and sad...its so strange its been 3 3/4 a month Link to comment
vetgirl Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 I can totally relate to what you wrote about wanting your ex to come back and admit the regret. Whenever I start thinking like that I try and turn it on itself and think about how little I have to regret about the relationship. What ever you do you can't question your status as a single individual. You sound like an ideal guy to me! If you are all the things you say you are than you are truly a commodity and you will be snatched up by another girl very quickly. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I have so many really great single girlfriends who would kill for a guy like you! Link to comment
TheDoctor Posted July 9, 2004 Author Share Posted July 9, 2004 thanks....my confidence isnt low on other women at all...just not meeting the right ones ? You know? But when I had this crush i forgot about my ex 110%! Then it just turned out to be a game and it still is so Im turned off by her....Are there any women out there that dont play games? Link to comment
vetgirl Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 thanks....my confidence isnt low on other women at all...just not meeting the right ones ? You know? But when I had this crush i forgot about my ex 110%! Then it just turned out to be a game and it still is so Im turned off by her....Are there any women out there that dont play games? Yes, but I'm sure they are hard to find. They probably hang out with the guys who aren't committmentphobes or cheaters. Still trying to find one of those myself... Link to comment
TheDoctor Posted July 10, 2004 Author Share Posted July 10, 2004 good luck vet girl....I appreciate all your comments. God bless this board lol. Link to comment
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