Life after all of this.

[cs90453]

To anyone out there now that is feeling like there is no end to what you are feeling I bring hope. I too went through a tough time with my marriage and relationship of 15 years suddenly ending. I felt like I would never find happiness with sharing my life with someone else ever again. It took some time and soul searching but I have now finally let someone back into my life and she is awesome!

 

It did take about 2 years in total but she is very special to me. I just wanted to post something positive to anyone out there that was like me...feeling that this is the end of the road for relationships and finding someone to share your life with. I'm not sure that I did things the right way but I feel that I did do things the right way for me.

 

You're going to have friends and family out there that are concerned for you and want you to get back on the horse. My advice is to do what you feel is right for you. Take days, weeks, months to give yourself the time you need to mend. I waited almost 6 months before I started dating again and this is my first relationship since. I realized that I was damaged and I wanted to know that I could trust again so I casually dated.

 

Another suggestion is to be honest. When you feel you're ready to date again, take things slow and be honest. Jumping into something too fast could blow up in your face and discourage you from trying again. Treat dating the way I feel it should be...a social experience not a hunt for your next long term husband or wife.

 

I would also like to thank the good people on this site. I cannot begin to explain how important you have all been in the mending process. Just knowing that you're not alone helps so much. I do check back from time to time so for anyone out there that would like someone to listen feel free to message me. I would just like to give something back.

[lvsthebeach]

Thanks, cs. I agree that time is what is needed to get over a long term marriage or relationship. Mine was 14 years. It is tough and you feel like there may never be anything or anyone out there again. I am just 3 months post breakup and still in the divorce process. I am not looking for a relationship right now, don't want one! LOL! I am in the finding myself phase. I believe that is also very important. Re-evaluating friendships, my life, etc. Letting old people go and letting new ones in. It is tough. Breaking away from the old friendships is the toughest part. Hard to be friends with couples that we were both friends with. I made a hard decision last week to end one. I felt that it was not healthly for me to stay in touch with them when I know that they are still in touch with him. I did it politely, of course. But it was still hard.

I wish you the best of luck. This site has been so helpful to me as well. It is so nice to read and respond and feel a sense of understanding.