Sherry

[OptomisticGirl]

That really is a sweet way to put it. I"m sure even if you don't actively feel her there, she is there looking out for you.

[sherryberrypie]

There's no way that she wouldn't be, tbh.

 

ps. I love that you have christmas in your avatar! I'm ridiculously excited for christmas this year

 

I wish I was sleeping in, but I have to go buy editing books from my teacher because the used ones from Amazon STILL aren't here, and we have a copyediting test next week. Grrrrr. *worry worry* I've been doing pilates and stuff every morning and seeing a difference in muscle tone. Unfortunately, some halloween party pics show me looking a mile wide. I'm NOT a mile wide, just an unflattering angle, I guess!

 

Yawwnnnn.

 

I really wish I could take next semester off. My heart and my brain aren't in it, but it would be ridiculous for me to take a break when I still haev 2 years to go.

[OptomisticGirl]

Oh I love Christmas, it's my favorite time of year. I go completely nuts with decorating and I always put the tree up at the beginning of November.

[sherryberrypie]

Is your tree up already then? I don't put my decorations up until sometime in Dec. I'm excited to be able to to decorate the outside of our house this year! I already got a couple of sets of white twinkling lights for outside.

 

While we're on the subject of Christmas, I need some gift ideas for a $50 limit. This year, Alex and I said that we will not buy any big things for each other, or get carried away filling stockings.

[OptomisticGirl]

No, since i live with my mom I cant (my tree is 7 ft) but when I lived on my own it was. Mom won't put her's up til Thanksgiving night. I switch between themes each year: one year I'll do a blue and silver theme, next year a green and red, then the next year a purple and gold. I have about 25 boxes of nothing but Christmas stuff in storage. :s

 

Does he wear cologne?

[sherryberrypie]

Wow, that's so much stuff. I have 4 or 5 boxes by now.

 

I feel so lightheaded and spinny today. Not fun.

[sherryberrypie]

Ughhh I wish Alex would spend a week in my shoes! He thinks that I have it so much easier and that I shouldn't be so tired, because I don't have a full course load. I may not have a full course load, but I do have a paper job that constantly needs attention, a house that needs to be taken care of, and a retail job that takes another 15 plus hours per week. Like today for example, I got up, cleaned the house for a good 2-3 hours, went to class for 3 hours, delivered the papers for about an hour and a half, and now I'm about to head to the gym for a fitness class for an hour. I was talking about looking forward to/needing a break from the paper, and he had the nerve to say "Why? You only do it once a week." Oh... so I don't spend time doing interviews, getting contributors to adhere to their deadlines, edit everything that comes into me, AND write my own articles? Of course not. I only spend Sundays doing actual work. I feel like I constantly have something to do, and he doesn't understand why I can't just drop it all at will and relax. There's no time, really!

[sherryberrypie]

In the last week I have gone off antidepressants, gotten a new job (now I have two, yay!) started dieting, and have been fighting off the beginnings of a cold/flu thing. All I'm hearing from my bf is whining about how I'm not paying any attention to him, how I "always" brush him off (I really don't), and I feel like I am literally being suffocated by I love you's and attention. Not the kind of attention I want however. When I'm trying to clean or finish an assignment, I really don't want to be groped. I'd like a hug and a kiss. I have told him over and over that I HATE when he comes home and immediately goes for my butt or my boobs but it never changes. It doesn't make me feel desired. It makes me feel turned off, because it's MY body and it should be respected.

 

I'm sure that a lot of his neediness is because I have been talking a lot about going to school accross the country in a few years (it's a dream) which would lead to a nice lucrative career for me. His dream job is here, and he's already said he's not leaving the city. I've been honest with him and told him that I'm stressed, exhausted, whatever, and that I just NEED to be left alone, but he just doesn't get it! It's like he's suddenly terrified that I'm going to leave. I'm trying to be sympathetic, but it's hard because I am just getting so annoyed. He's had four-plus years to seal the deal with me, and most of you guys all know that has hurt me deeply at times. So I am finally thinking of myself rather than always focusing on everything and everyone else.

 

So, so frustrated.

[sherryberrypie]

Glad I have my journal to rant to. Things came to a head, feelings got hurt, and he showed me that I have really been making him feel hurt. Time to pull my head out of my bum and just be nice.

 

I don't get a single day off this week! Even though the shifts are short, it still adds up Last night I bought a couple of items from work after my shift. I got a beautiful sateen LBD link removed (SUPER flattering on), same with the sequined one on the same page. I may actually buy that one too, because I can wear it for work around the holidays and another co-worker and I were conspiring to wear the same dress for Boxing day (it's like my store's Christmas party) It's here: link removed I must add, it looks much better on, and it's a comfy as a favourite t-shirt. I also got a shawl style top in beige in this super comfy jersey type fabric for work. Customers do ask where you got your clothes! After that I went to an accessories store and found some new necklaces to pretty up my basic tops. I'm glad I finally found something, because I had been looking for awhile now.

 

Had an impromptu bonfire party last night with some friends from school, pretty sure the hot chocolate and baileys is what's swirling around in my stomach right now. Blech. Must have been too much dairy or something. It was fun though. After we let the fire die, we played a very rambunctious game of cranium, and we made our way home at about 2 am. Work today from 11:30-3:30, and then I need to seriously hammer out articles for the next issue of the paper... then it's time for a Guy Fawke's bonfire tonight at another house! I hope there's fireworks again

[sherryberrypie]

Just noticed that the links are generic. Oh well, I'll take and post a pic of myself in it one of these days.

 

Worked, had lunch in foodcourtia with Alex and a girlfriend, now I'm home, doing more emailing to contributors, sorting out the article list for the next issue, and panicking a teensy bit because I've only heard back from one person, so only two articles are confirmed, and I've chosen two more from the University Press database as a backup. I'm hopefully going to be doing some lighter articles this time: a movie review for a local green film that's winning a lot of accreditation, and with a sponsored refugee who is attending the university I go to, care of the World University Service Corps. I love feel good stories I'm basically just stuck waiting for people to get back to me at this point, so I know who is doing what, and if they are going to be doing writing/ will be available for interviews.

[sherryberrypie]

I've pretty much reached my goal for an all-contributor issue. Yay! I'm on call for work today, and hoping that they don't need me. I've spent the morning cleaning and I've got a bunch of things I would like to get done today. I'm frankly a little depressed that I've been working since Thursday and barely made any money because it's all been short shifts.

[OptomisticGirl]

Was wpndering how you had been.

[sherryberrypie]

Oh, been busy. It's amazing how much less time I have, only working 3-4 hour shifts! I think it's because I keep getting "trapped" in the mall, running errands after, etc...

 

Editing a short article. I like this girl as a person, but I am really starting to doubt her writing abilities, I'm sorry to say. I pretty much had to butcher it, and I feel bad about that.

 

Really nothing interesting going on here hahaha.

 

OH, except that I found out that I've been published in multiple papers accross Canada. The real citywide daily papers, I mean. I guess my name is out there more than I thought. For only 2nd year "journalism" that's pretty good!

[sherryberrypie]

I want the old Alex back. This one is so boring, and inattentive, yet needy.

[sherryberrypie]

I am so carbo-loaded right now. I found some rosemary sourdough bread and some cinnamon buns from the bakery program on campus. I wanted to eat the bread for dinner, natch', so we cooked up spaghetti and I made a couple of salads with fig balsamic dressing. Mmmm. Of course, I had to have a cinnamon bun for dessert.

[sherryberrypie]

Moe has been full of beans (especially so) for the last couple of days. Last night he was in and out of our room, and when we finally closed the door, he'd come back and yowl. He sticks his face under the door and yells at the top of his lungs. I'm not going to be mean to do negative reinforcement, because he did sound genuinely upset and lonely. On the other hand, I am not going to bend to his every furry little whim. He woke me up too many times for it to be cute anymore. He's outside now, so here's hoping that he chills out tonight. Yesterday he must have gotten into the catnip seeds because he was acting like a stoned teenager. It was so funny though. I was sitting at the kitchen table (where I work) deep in concentration, typing away. I looked down, only to see this huge eyed cat right beside the chair, staring very intently at me. It made me jump, I'll admit it. The little bugger did it again this morning. I was opening a can of fruit cocktail, and at some point he snuck up to me and stood there, STARING. He probably thinks I'm such a freak for getting startled every time hahahaha. Java always seems so much happier when Moe goes away for awhile. I'm sad that they'll probably never be friends, because they could both use the extra companionship. But, she seems to be happy as she is, lazing away her days and playing a little at night. When Moe goes outside or crashes out somewhere, she always comes out to visit, usually sitting at the table with me while I do work. As soon as Moe comes back out though, she's gone.

 

I'm officially a crazy cat lady.

 

I'm up at 8. Early times for me. I have strong coffee mixed with hot chocolate though, so I'm sure I'll be okay lol.

[sherryberrypie]

Was on campus from 10 am to 5 pm today. Yeesh! One more article to finish tomorrow (past deadline) That I completely forgot about. It's just been a nutzoid couple of weeks for everyone on staff.

 

I am taking tonight all to myself. I have been watching tv and snuggling with various cats since about 5:30. Watching America's Next Top Model right now and am getting annoyed by the token nerdy girl. Grow some self-confidence, woman! QUIT CRYING! Ann is just way too skinny. It actually disturbs me a bit. It doesn't look like she's naturally thin...

 

I told Alex today that I want to have sex every single day (once I'm off the rag) He was pleased. LOL. I do. It's SO easy to let days go by without being properly intimate, and I don't want to slip into that habit anymore. It's amazing how much it affects him and I want him to feel secure in this relationship and in our future.

 

I'm planning some things for the house as far as decorating goes. I asked him if he could make the table I've been scheming up, and he said that he would, so that's a big one. I REALLY want to find a dishwasher, and he said that as long as we can find space for it, I can get one. I am considering doing away with one of the counters, but at this point, I'm not sure where I would put my small appliances and what I would use for the junk drawer. Maybe I could get a small cabinet or something... Sometimes having a small home is a challenge. The more years that pass, the more stuff accumulates and I do downsize sometimes, but I use all of the small appliances in that cupboard on a daily/weekly basis.

 

Then we move on to the bathroom, which I have decided needs to be a pale yellow instead of the pastel green colour of most of the rest of the house (not my choice, but I don't have any better ideas and really don't want to deal with painting 20+ ft high walls. I've always loved yellow. I painted my bedroom pale yellow as a teen, and loved it. Alex wants to leave the bedroom walls blue and white, so I think that'd be a good compromise, rather than me painting the bedroom yellow.

 

Then the living room. There are these built in alcoves meant to house a fireplace/tv. Alex refuses to have a fireplace near the tv because the tv gets so warm anyways, so we're left with this big old alcove above the tv. When we moved in, we stuck a cheap painting in it and just left it. I've decided that I don't want to fill it in, so I am going to put up a shelf or two and use it as a home for some photos in really pretty frames, and other knick-nacks.

 

Then the bedroom again. I am going to sew us a new duvet cover and matching pillow-cases and maybe even some pretty curtains. I bought some burgundy coloured sheers from a thrift store when we first moved in, just to have something over the window, but I'm not loving them.

[OptomisticGirl]

lol, that cat story made me laugh. Sounds like Jasper who you can literally trip over half the time because the furball gets underneath your feet. yeah, I can't lock Jasper out of my bedroom. He will sit and meow at the door and scratch until I let him in. Not sure how he's going to handle it when mommy has special time with daddy...

 

I use to love America's Next Top Model. I just haven't watched it in a while, not since right before they did the short season I believe.

 

Oh I want a place to decorate! My nesting is kicking in. I was not meant to live with other people!

[sherryberrypie]

Oh he's always underfoot. Java has such a pretty meow compared to his yeowls. Good thing she doesn't yeowl at night anymore.

 

My tummy hurts. I'm lactose intolerant and stupidly had half of a latte today. I'm paying for it now.

 

I'm feeling creative, so I'm putting together a list of christmas gift ideas. I think I even have an idea of what to get the MIL's fiance (whom I've only met once before)

[sherryberrypie]

So I finally found out what had Alex so emotional last week. He found out that his brother is being sent overseas to Afghanistan (he's in the army). It's really bothering him, understandably. It's bothering me too, tbh. I hate the war.

[OptomisticGirl]

Dont' we all? I suport our troops though. I"m sorry to hear about his brother.

[sherryberrypie]

I'm glad that people feel they can depend on me and know I'll care. I guess that's one of my gifts in life. Whenever people are callous to me, I wonder what it is that's going on with them, that is making them so unhappy.

[sherryberrypie]

Wow, today was long. Not a Saturday at all! Now I am doing nothing. I found a large tiger portrait for Alex that I want to re-frame and give to him for Christmas. I'm really clueless as to what to get him this year. He wants for nothing, so it seems. Except a snowmobile. We were hanging out with two of my girlfriends one night and he says, my next big purchase is going to be a snowmobile. Right. It doesn't snow out here. So yeah... I thought that was fairly special. Kind of hoping he's kidding and is actually saving to get me an engagement ring, seeing as we've been talking about it for FOUR years.

[sherryberrypie]

Ahhhh my god. I dyed my hair when I was sleepy, and I left it on for probably way longer than the 25 mins. It's supposed to be dark brown. it's mostly black, and VERY black in some places. I KNEW that dye had too much purple tinge in it. I've called upon a hairdresser friend for help. I hope she can do it before we all go out on Tuesday, so I don't feel like the random goth kid lol. It's supposed to snow on Wednesday. I can't believe it!

 

I went to the drugstore (more like a superstore) to get some essentials and spent some time in the perfume/makeup aisle. On payday I am going to buy the Quo eyeshadow quad I fell in love with. I will probably get the same one for sister in law for christmas. It's got this one sparkly purple shade that is so fun. I want to get Alex cologne, but it's sooo expensive. The perfume I love is soo expensive too. (Viva La Juicy, or Amor, Amor.)

 

I know that we won't be getting engaged this year, so I am just trying not to think about it. It helps that my co-worker was with her bf for 6.5 years before they got engaged. I'm not the only one who didn't meet and marry the guy within 2 years or less. The grass is always greener. Some are jealous that we own a home, some are jealous that we have no kids and get to be selfish, while I have my days where I almost miss the apartment, for it's cheap factor, and where I see all these mothers and wish I could be one too. The feeling passes though, as I remember goals I've set for myself. I'm starting to think that children are further in the future for us, and I'm okay with that. I don't want to lose the opportunity to go to grad school (in another city/province). Of course, if I were knocked up right now, that'd obviously be what was meant to me, and I'd be thrilled.

[OptomisticGirl]

It may lighten up in a few days Sherry. Couple years ago I dyed mine dark brown and I already had medium brown hair to begin with and it turned it black. After a few days int he sun and washing it went to the dark brown it was suppose to. While I was doing it it was black as ink and I was so freaked out.

 

You can also try department stores around Christmas, they usually have specials on cologne. My ex worse Lucky #6 and it was expensive but one Christmas I found the cologne, body wash, and after shave for $55 at Jc Pennies.

 

What is wrong with you guys having a long engagment? I know a couple that was engaged for 4 years before marrying (they wanted a big wedding and it took them that long to save up for it).