Cute letter, or not so cute?

[tattoobunnie]

I sent this letter out...background, known him for over 20 years through my brother, and never once thought of him in any other way, till a bit ago, and we recently hooked up. Then I completely tried to book it out of there. He's awesome...though can't sweat over if it's a no-go. Guess I suppose I'd love some reaction feedback.

 

Thanks.

 

------------------------

 

While I’ve always thought you were amazing, up until a few weeks ago, in my mind, I’ve always placed you in a specific category, along with all of my brothers’ friends, my friends’ persons of interests, and my own friends, as someone I couldn’t even fathom crossing a line with or even picture it. And I never once did before.

 

Then that one night hanging out without my brother, it was like a light switch was turned on. I did sweep the thought under. And now, I’m a bit thrown off on collecting my thoughts on the matter…you are someone who’s known me for a decades, as a child, with others, completely without guise all this time, and vice versa.

 

I want to apologize for acting aloof that morning after getting up, and thereafter. I felt awkward…not by you… it was the thought of risked friendships, conversations that may have no place, ones that could take place, and not being able to wrap my head around the situation. And in holding you in high regards, I wanted to be clear with you on that.

 

While it's a little strange thinking of you in an new way...I think I like you.

 

Would you be open to the idea of getting to know each other in a different element? If you are, cool, and if not, no hard feelings at all. You are first and foremost someone who is really special and will always be special to me for countless reasons, and I care about you.

[abitbroken]

"getting up in the morning.." did you sleep together?

 

I think its an honest letter but I think the "i THINK I like you' was a little mild. I think it was a let down considering the rest of the letter. I would have taken out the "think" part. Also, he already thinks of you in a different way if you've slept together, and I also think actions speak louder. Don't let yourself be aloof - if you want him - make it known through accepting his invitations, etc., and calling him. It would be awkward for a guy if a gal booked out of there all of the sudden. He won't pursue you if you act too coy or evasive. In otherwords, now back up your words with action. if not, its like a "crush" letter that I got in high school where a guy slipped a letter into my locker that was very gushy but when I would run into him, its like I wasn't alive

[tattoobunnie]

Yikes...my brother called me up, and he's pissed! And he refused to talk it out.

 

It's now become dramatic...which I'm not looking for. See, I do think I like him...I don't know if it could turn into something, or if he's even interested. I've never seen him like that all this time. For all I know, our chemistry could amount to watching paint peel.

 

So I asked the guy if he said anything to my brother, which he said, "He's not dumb, and I'm not a good liar, so when he asked me a direct question, I answered. It seemed he already knew, anyway, I'd like to talk to you so there is no confusion, but I'm in a meeting now. Call you in a bit."

 

Which could translate into many things...since I haven't thoroughly spoken to either of them about it. Like my brother said, "stay away!" or he isn't interested, which would make him a douche for putting a moves on his brother's little sister after knowing me since I was 9.

 

I mean, if it's a no go, I'll survive.

[tattoobunnie]

And I didn't really book, I went downstairs, hung with my bro who was also there at the house, chilled a bit with the nanny, then played with his daughter for the next hours...totally evading any alone moment with him.

[abitbroken]

And I didn't really book, I went downstairs, hung with my bro who was also there at the house, chilled a bit with the nanny, then played with his daughter for the next hours...totally evading any alone moment with him.

 

Oh...so you had sex while other people were in the house? Not for nothing, but that seems more like an old fashioned "sneak into an empty room" rather than a romantic evening where one thing led to another. Just be prepared that you could have different expectations and that he might not break the "bro code" - about dating sisters and ex girlfriends

[tattoobunnie]

If it was a planned out romantic evening...there would essentially be no reason to make this post. Either way, my bro is mad, his buddy is upset he's mad, and I'm not talking to my bro for his implications. So either way, no one wins.

[tattoobunnie]

I guess I would think after you get to a certain age, that your loved ones are supportive of you finding a love and a good partner. That you see your sister and your friend as great people that and worthy of at least trying.

 

All the way, I was supportive of my brother who as taboo as it was, dating our sister in laws very very young little sister...never judged him or her...and they are now happily married.

 

I've never had it easy then...guess I shouldn't expect it to become any different.

[tattoobunnie]

So I worked things out with my brother. Now comes the part where I have to be clear with the guy...my brother is encouraging me to call him up, and ask him out. I am unsure if I am losing my momentum cuz of all this drama, or just losing my nerve, cuz I don't feel like putting myself out there all for it to become a bigger mess...

[AndiD]

I don't understand why your brother was mad...just because you'd slept together?

 

Did the guy ever call you back like he said he would?

[tattoobunnie]

He did on Friday. And he said he said based on my brother's reaction, that we should leave it be. In talking with my brother, who is now pretty clear on the go ahead, I am unsure if the guy is using my brother as an excuse, or if he's genuine. And perhaps my previous attitude made sure nothing further would happen. So right now, I need to get clear with the guy...which is it? But I'm not sure if my lack of wanting to make that phone call is fear of rejection, the idea that there's too much at stake to ruffle up feathers, or that I'm downplaying it cuz deep down, it may not be worth the trouble.

 

I long for things to go easier, have it easier...perhaps why I'm in between pity parties and what-not.

[AndiD]

I think if your brother scared the guy off in a moment of anger or reactionary stuff, whatever, then your brother needs to correct that with the guy and tell him directly he's ok with him dating his little sister.

 

The guy could be using your brother as an excuse, or he could be interested and not going for it out of respect for your brother. I could see that one going either way.

[tattoobunnie]

I'm not sure at this point if I would get a straight answer from him. The momentum was ruined by my brother pooing all over it at first, and now trying to be the "I'm not the bad guy!" in the scenario. I mean...what chances do I have in making this turn out positive? I could say thanks for putting all the obstacles around, and now it's my job to rustle through all of it to find out that it so was not worth it.

[LoveSoDeep]

I say tell him that you talked to your brother and he didn't seem upset about it anymore and you're not sure why he's suggesting you leave it. I wouldn't force the issue but just let him know that you weren't under the imression that it would be an issue anymore and then invite him out for a drink or to do sometihng you all enjoy just like any other normal friendly outing. Like "So when you talked to my brother he seemed upset? That's odd he didn't seem upset to me... Well in any case I was going to have a drink tonight out at ____ if you want to join me." Who knows if that would work but that's what I'd do....to salvage the friendship if nothing else.

[Deejmonster]

I think that you will be ok. I have seen worse turn better. If i were to talk to this guy.. I wouldn't do it over the phone. Do it in person. If he agrees to meet with you, then you know that there is some form of interest. And when it comes time to pop the question.. don't beat around it. Just tell him how you feel and tell him that your bro is ok with it too. No matter what, there is going to be fear in telling him.. so why not do it the best way someone can.. and do it in person.

[greywolf]

Honestly, I think that if he really wanted to work something out with you, then he wouldn't care about how your brother feels about it.

[catfeeder]

Honestly, I think that if he really wanted to work something out with you, then he wouldn't care about how your brother feels about it.

 

This was my first thought, too. If the guy was worth his salt, he'd be the one defending you to your brother, not the other way around.

[tattoobunnie]

He didn't try to cover his own butt...he was honest to my brother, nor was he saying anything bad about me. I mean, it's even weird for me...for over two decades I never looked at him like that...and to try to have it sink in within two weeks...it is taking a while myself. I've never had an interest in both of my brothers' friends, my friends, my friends' friends, so I can relate to it being a strange crossroads to be on.

 

The last conversation they both had with each other a week ago...my brother did not go into it gently or warmly. And to throw away that long of a friendship over a small crush...I would question him as a friend.

 

While my brother did leave a message to him before my brother left on his trip overseas, Monday, it was still somewhat hostile, slightly more "you both started something, now finish it, if you're not interested in my sister, then tell her." (Something like that) And I know I would get an honest answer from him.

 

On Monday, I texted him about seeing if he had time to talk on Tuesday...I've been so busy with last minute things from taking my brother to the airport, consoling a good friend who just called off her wedding, to being stuck in a meeting that went on for 3 hours (2 hours longer than expected), I haven't had time to talk to him...now it's Thursday, and I plan to call him later.

 

Sure it didn't start off smooth sailing, and it may never really take off...I'll be fine with that. It does involve dating each other to find out if there is more to it.

[tattoobunnie]

I just spoke to him...and he doesn't want to ruin things between all of us, and has chosen to not pursue a relationship at this time. "Maybe down the road." Oh well. Just gonna keep on truckin'

[jaywalk]

I don't think making "the call" is a good idea. Sounds like you made it clear where you stood, so asking if he spoke with your bro because he's o.k. with it now sounds like your chasing him too hard. to me. just saying. If it were me, I would like to think I would let it lie for awhile and bring it up at a later date. kinda "been thinking of you alot , maybe we could get together and catch up" and then see where it leads.

you strike me as an intelligent person.....whatever you do, I'm sure it'll be what's best for you. take care

[jaywalk]

wow..color me humiliated,didnt notice the thread had 2 pages. was so interested in putting in my 2cents I missed the rest of the story. I stand by my last statement though