Approaching females...how to

[ATLstudent]

JUst got home from art gallery. I saw a couple girls there i was really attrached to. And i get almost a desperation feeling about me....its not all that bad...i mean its fun walking around checking them out, feeling out the situation, but i guess it sucks when i feel i cant do anything about it. And just wait for one of them to approach me. I know this will not happen, or it may, but not the ones i chose or always want. These girls that i am attrached to...i just get speechless i freeze up and dont know how to pursue. But i really want to learn this. Maybe my first step is just facing that fear..braving it...but it just gets so built up and so hard to do in those moments for me.....I need some tips or advice.....Keep in my mind i was in an art musuem by myself checking out a new exhibit...most of these girls were with a friend....is it even possible to make a legitimate move in this situation.

I wanna turn this around...i love the fact that i am seeing attractive females and glad my libido is working but it just frustrating when i havent learned how to follow through, or pursue what my mind body is telling me despite the fear or awkardness...

[agent1607307371]

Keep in my mind i was in an art musuem by myself checking out a new exhibit...most of these girls were with a friend....is it even possible to make a legitimate move in this situation.

 

It was an awesome place to make a move as you have a ready made conversation opener.

 

You have to stop building it up though. Seriously, they're just humans, like you.

[nutbrownhare]

Probably easier to befriend people who are on their own ...

[Day_Walker]

I think that you shouldnt make approaching a girl complicated. You dont need any clever lines, the point is just to be yourself and be friendly.

 

I typically wont make a move until I get eye contact from the girl to see if she is interested. After that I approach and just say what comes to mind, for example talk about the exhibit youre going to see, do a quick introduction and move on from there, see if you feel a vibe from her, if you dont then just move on.

[FathomFear]

How would you approach someone you're not attracted to? Your answer to that question is going to be the answer to your question.

[cm17]

I just read this book called superflirt, actually I heard it recommended on here. A lot of it was obvious, however the parts that described body language was really interesting. Eye contact and a smile is a really good indication a girl might be interested. Also keeping your body "open", no crossed arms, or slumped posture helps you draw attention to yourself. The great thing about a gallery is that you can easily comment on the art as a conversation starter. Trying not to worry about rejection will really help, just be friendly. Most women aren't mean to men who approach them, even if they turn out to not be interested they will still be flattered if you are polite!

[ATLstudent]

I think really it has to me being scared to show my nervous or awkwardness...Im scared to be vunerable...the state of mind im in at that moment is hard to mask and i dont want to reveal myself i think....

[greywolf]

OP, aren't you gay?

 

Or I guess you're actually bisexual?

[ATLstudent]

I dont really fit sexuality definitions, but when it comes to being in a public place and finding people really attractive...99 percent female.

[Bluesman89]

My god I can really relate to what your going through OP. I'm exactly the same. The way you described your feelings and fear of appearing awkward is exactly how i would describe my feelings.

 

Check out my thread (further down the page) about my recent encounter with a girl in a pub who I was too nervous to approach. I have recently decided that I'm going to go back to the pub where she works and ask her out.

 

I too can't be 100% certain that this girl showed interest in me (all I'm going off is the frequent eye contact between us), but I'm doing it anyway. I'm pertified about the prospect now, and will be even more so as the day nears but I'm not pulling out of this.

 

I think we need to just force ourselves sometimes, regardless of our feelings.

 

So just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

[LightbulbSun]

I guess you have to ignore that they're attractive, and just treat them like people?

 

I dunno, I have the same problem. Even online, if an attractive girl messages me, I freeze up.

 

I deal better with unattractive people, but then I'm not attracted to them, so I don't want to date them!