Reality Check #2: Push Up Bras

[awdj]

It's more about breast shape than size physically, but woman's chest has never even been close to a deal-breaker either way.

[randomgirl59]

Lightbulb, I truly sympathize with all the men who have had to deal with unpleasant, classless and rude women. It actually annoys me that women like this exist because they make the rest of us look bad. I'm not just saying this either. Its also not so much the bitterness and cynicism that is the problem, granted that does play a big role as well but many people have at least some cynicism to them, especially when they get older. Its the underlying misogyny and rash generalizations about women behind these types of posts that is disgusting. I agree that constant rejection can upset a person and make them angry, as well as change them as a person. But I urge them to see past that. Try not to look at the negatives, but the positives as well. There are SO MANY average men who are in happy, commited relationships. Many of the couples I know consist of a very average looking guy, who doesn't make a lot of money, and who doesn't have a perfectly sculpted body. The women they are with range from average to above average, they dont have issues either. I have to wonder myself why I'm always seeing couples like the ones I know, to couples who are happily married, to couples consisting of a not so great looking guy with a pretty cute girl.

 

The evidence is out there, so try to focus on that. Think to yourself "if it can happen to them, it can happen to me!" "that guy is no better than me, I just haven't found the right girl yet!"

 

It IS possible. But as we all know, some people have better luck than others.

 

Up until maybe 6 years ago, I didn't exactly have a good experience with many of the males in my life. All through junior high and highschool I was called fat, ugly, gross, etc. Most of the kids who called me these names were boys. In highschool, none of the guys I had crushes on reciprocated. It was the same in college. I had 2 very big crushes on guys who both did not feel the same way about me. Additionally, because I have, or at least had, a tendency to crush really hard, it hurt like hell when I figured out they didn't see me the same way and ended up dating other girls in the program. It made my self esteem plummet even lower. I would also like to note that NONE of these guys were bad boys.

 

I've also come accross a few men who just wanted to sleep with me and nothing else. One of them I guess you could consider a bad boy, but I met him once and never saw or spoke to him again. GASP! a woman who stayed away from a bad boy! can you believe it?!?!

 

Now things have gotten slightly better, I still haven't found the right guy. I've heard about how many messages a girl gets on a dating site. I certainly dont get that many. I've been approached in public maybe 5 times my entire life, half of those men were twice my age.

 

I'm also terrified of approaching men myself, and have a hard time letting them know how I feel about them. When I try to, I get nervous and cant be myself, making the situation awkward. I know this isn't an excuse, and I dont think men have to do the approaching either. I'm just saying I suffer from that shyness as well.

 

You think that doesn't take a toll on someone too? I know exactly how you guys feel because I've actually gone through similar experiences. So hearing guys say that all women are golddiggers, all women are vapid morons who only care about looks, or every single woman on the planet wants a bad boy or a man to push her around. It's quite irritating. It also really says something about the men who claim these things. It makes me think they probably never respected women very much in the first place, if they can so quickly demonize and hate the entire female population after having bad luck with..oh...50? even 100..even more out of the how many women in the world?

 

I know that I, and my equally average/below average unlucky female friends are not like what these guys claim, nor do we do any better in the dating world. I also know there are plenty of other women out there like me. I am also not the exception either. This is just a theory, but I suspect that a lot of these "evil" women, are usually not the laidback, introverted or geeky type of young ladies. These girls are never exactly the ones the majority of men, at least young men, chase. These types of women are overlooked. So next time you are quick to condemn an entire gender due to rotten luck, think of them.

 

All of the above is why my posts may come of as hostile to some. Because I'm sick of hearing ignorant comments that come from nowhere but a place of anger and self pity. Recognize that life is tough, but lose the resentment. Its so easy to hate and blame, its harder to come to terms with things and change. See I dont buy into this "lalala everything is great and will be alright in the end" crap either. But its best to have both a healthy amount of optimism as well as some cold hard reality inside you. Balance it out and life will be much easier.

 

I doubt I'm going to change anyone's mind, but at least have some perspective. And know that there are just as many young and older women as miserable and dateless as you guys.

 

TL;DR:

 

There are TONS of normal, average women who are also having terrible luck with dating, myself included. Remember that when you deem the entire female population as evil harpies, and remember that we all dont fill your stupid stereotypes that you base off of your bad luck.

[Mercurial Girl]

Well that in that case, why don't we all stop wearing deodorant? That's an 'assistant'. I think that'll go over smoothly.

 

We should stop shaving too! Being "myself" means having some crazy pit hair. HAWT!

 

I get the vibe that OP would have a problem with anything women do to "enhance" their appearance. If we tied a rope around the waists of our burlap sack clothing we'd be falsely advertising an hourglass figure. Pleassssse!

 

Dude, I think you have woman issues.

[annie24]

I love my pit hair. I hate that I have to get rid of it. I don't shave, I wax. That means I have to let it get to a certain length before waxing it off.

[Cheetarah]

I wouldn't say I enjoy my pit hair(lol), but I DO like my leg hair. To be honest, I have something beyond stubble as we speak, AND I'm wearing a dress. I was going to shave this morning, as I always do when I wear skirts/dresses. But then I thought of this thread. And I decided today I was going to go 'natural'. I briefly considered not wearing dedorant, but I just can't do that. So men of Chicagoland, here are my hairy legs(can I say this is quite liberating?). You don't want false advertising, you got it.

[tigers fly]

Push up bras? Maybe false advertising. But not as much as girdles!

 

As for myself, I'd prefer not to wear any bra at all! They're terribly uncomfortable and expensive (cheap ones are horrible) and the straps slide off and the underwires poke at you, and the padding is too much, but the lacey ones aren't enough, and really, generally no fun at all.

 

I'd be happy to go back to the bra burning days of the 70's! \\

[Cheetarah]

Ok, today was at the very least an interesting experiment. I'm not sure if it was because of the leg hair, or because I probably looked liberated and relaxed, but I got an awful lot of male attention today. My guess is there can't possibly that many leg-hair lovers(they DO exist), it must have been the way I was carrying myself.

 

Tigers, I wish to never wear a bra! As soon as I get home, I get the bra off ASAP. I have a friend that sleeps in her bra...What the...What is she thinking? How incredibly uncomfortable.

[Cognitive_Canine]

False advertising?

 

Once my bra is off, I can't imagine a guy ever complaining "hey, these aren't nearly as big as they looked in that bra?!"

 

haha. It's very humorous to me.

 

My boyfriend has some shirts that make his arms look larger than others. Is that false advertising too?

 

He also has this black pair of slacks that make his butt look so much better than jeans. Cheating?

 

Not to mention his extensive hat collection that completely compliment the shape of his face and really round it out. Foul play?

 

Should he keep the hats on during sex? Should I be angry that he's not being up front with me?

[Nightshade]

I think what the OP is actually referring to is padded bras, which add a cup size, as opposed to push-up bras, which only increase cleavage. Even then, the difference will not be extreme. Let us be realistic: there is no bra on the market that makes an A-cup look like a D-cup no matter the amount of padding. Even Victoria's Secret models, such as Karolina, Candice, and Miranda use silicone inserts and make-up shading in addition to their padded bras for photo shoots to look busty.

 

Personally, I would not consider either push-ups or padded bras "false advertising" because any type of clothing or accessories (i.e. shirts, blouses, pants, skirts, dresses, belts, shoes etc.) can alter one's physical appearance to a minor degree. In order to promote "realistic advertising", one would have to walk around completely naked, which is scary indeed.

[Cognitive_Canine]

^^^

 

Yeah, I was about to say that. I have yet to come accross a bra that added a size onto me. Even my "fancy" bra with ridiculous amounts of padding add maybe half a size. I only wear it when trying to "subtly" please my boyfriend when we are going out for a really nice night.

 

And, *alas* I have yet to achieve cleavage.

[RelaxByWater84]

Some girls wear the push up bra since some girls can't fill out the clothes without them. And when you're flat chested its hard to find clothes that fit.

[Cognitive_Canine]

If I walked around without a bra, I'd probably attract more male attention than if I wear my "fancy" pushup one with padding. haha.

 

 

 

Unfortunately I'd be very uncomfortable. I sleep with bras on.

[t3nder_v1ttl3s]

I wouldn’t care. Breast size isn’t really an issue with me. As long as she has them and they fit her and look right on her considering her body shape and size, height, etc then that’s all that matters. Breasts augment the overall figure so grossly oversized breast can be just as unattractive as not having any breasts at all. They just make the woman look out of proportion.

[anngrant]

Personally, I am a padded/push up bra kind of girl! I really believe it makes me look better in t-shirts, but also dresses and sweaters. More streamlined, if that makes sense. And I like the fact that they are not " see through":)especially those from sweet buy outs