World cup vs me (the gf)

[gem90]

Right I realise this is probably going to sound really petty, but your opinions please...

As we all know, the world cup is on. My boyfriend absolutely loves football. He told me before it started that he would be watching every single game, and I, said okay, just don't expect me to watch any of them with you.

I guess I didn't quite realise the extent of quite how many games there are a day etc.

So since the world cup has began, he has watched all 3/4 games a day and then come to my house about 10. And don't get me wrong, I really appreciate him coming over after its finished.

Thing is, now its starting to grate on me. We haven't gone out anywhere or done anything since it began. Am I being selfish for wanting to do something when I knew he would be watching the whole of the world cup? Do you think I should just grin and bear it and go over and watch it with him?

Another thing. On July 6th its the world cup semi final, it is also my 20th birthday. I am going out with my parents for a nice meal to celebrate, and of course I invited my boyfriend, but, as im sure you've guessed, wont be coming due to the football being on. Does anyone else think thats a little rude of him? Or should I just have accepted this, as I've known from the start? I realise that its an important game, but its one game, and I feel my birthday is a fairly good reason to miss it?

 

I'm sorry for rambling about football for so long. I didnt mean to bore another person with it! Thoughts and opinions would be greatly appreciated though. Thank you!

[sidehop]

As big as the event is, it does sound very selfish of him especially it's your birthday. Unless there was a family death that he had to attend a funeral or some emergency I don't see how it excuses him.

 

At the same time if he's adamant, do go and enjoy your birthday, with your friends and/or family without him.

[HouseKitten]

My boyfriend is equally interested in the football, though he has to work during the day so he just watches the games he can in the evening, mainly the England games.

 

In regards to spending time with him - I normally compromise by coming over to see my boyfriend anyway when there's a game on, but I'll bring my laptop or a book and sit with him so we can still chat and kiss, but I'm not bored rigid for 90 minutes perhaps you could try that, bring something you want to do with you so you can still see him but not be asking him to not watch the game.

 

As for your birthday though - no one even knows who'll be in the semi-final yet! I'd be hurt if he wouldn't come to a meal - he can always record the game. The team he supports might not even be playing. There's being supportive about him wanting to see every game, and then there's him being a little insensitive. You only want him to miss that one game, for your birthday. I'd tell him you'd really appreciate it if he would come along - depending on the timing, he might not even miss the entire thing.

[sidehop]

I'm sure there's also a way you two can celebrate (as much as his attention will probably be on the game). It's not like the game is on 24/7 that it'll kill him if he didn't watch five minutes of it.

[Citlali]

The games are on quite early. You're really plan something then? Plan around them. This is an event that happens every four years. I am a rabid soccer fan and everyone around me knows I go nowhere until the day's games are done. You knew he'd watch them. I don't see why all of a sudden you are now upset. Why don't you try to be interested a little? Or at least do what another poster said and bring stuff you can do while he watches the games? He doesn't have to give up his games. He comes over afterward. It's not like he is ignoring you entirely even after the games are over. I think it's selfish to get angry about something he enjoys, and which only occurs every 4 years, even though he comes over anyway. It's like you won't be satisfied until he misses his games. That's unnecessary.

 

Also, it's not the same to watch the games after the fact. You hear about the score, it's not as suspenseful, etc. The point is to live the game as it happens. Moreover, it doesn't matter, at least to real soccer fans like your boyfriend, whether a team he supports is in the semi finals or not. The game itself is still important. As for your birthday, the semi final is on at 10:30AM PST. I don't know where you live, but find the corresponding time for your zone accordingly. Why don't you plan your birthday dinner after that? It would still be pretty early.

 

I don't know. I guess as a soccer fanatic it is hard for me to relate to you. I much better understand your boyfriend. Let him live the excitement. It'll be over soon and it won't be back for another 4 years.

[OptomisticGirl]

My boyfriend is a football fanatic as well and I just asked him this question. He said if England was in the semi finals on my birthday, he would watch it. But ONLY if his country was in the semi finals, but just randoms games of other countries.

 

Still, I understand your frustration and where you are coming from. All you can do is go out and enjoy your birthday without him. Maybe he'll feel guilty about it later. You could always ask him about dwindling it down to only watching one football game that day to compromise.

[DN]

He was upfroont with you and told you he would watch every game and you said OK - so you are stuck with that agreement now. He should arrange to see you on your birthday but ater the game.

 

Remember the World Cup is only every four years and it is very important to him - which is why he thought it through and told you ahead of time. And he isn't trying to pressure you to watch with him. I think you should let this go.

[Citlali]

I just realized I assumed they lived in a country where the games are on early. They might live in another country where the games are on in the evening. That would make things different. In that case, there is no option to have dinner later. I would try to compromise. I still think, however, that it seems a little selfish to be bothered by the fact that he watches the games even though he still comes over after.

[Siriana]

Disclaimer: I don't date guys who like football or watch it. I can't stand it. And when I find out a guy is that much into WATCHING sport (it's watching not actually playing...so I think it's dumb and immature and lazy) I don't bother dating him.

 

But since you are dating your bf and this is important for him a few ideas

 

So since the world cup has began, he has watched all 3/4 games a day and then come to my house about 10. And don't get me wrong, I really appreciate him coming over after its finished.

 

IF he's that crazy only during the world cup be patient. It's what - a month every for 4 years - it's not that much of a big deal. IF he is crazy about it even on a lower scale (like national championship and all world cup qualification matches...then yeah RUN). After all he is visiting you after the matches every day which means he is not drunk afterwards.

 

 

I am going out with my parents for a nice meal to celebrate, and of course I invited my boyfriend, but, as im sure you've guessed, wont be coming due to the football being on. Does anyone else think thats a little rude of him? Or should I just have accepted this, as I've known from the start? I realise that its an important game, but its one game, and I feel my birthday is a fairly good reason to miss it?

 

Since this is a semi final game not some game in the begging of the competition maybe you could have planned a nice meal after or before the game in the time that works great for you, him, and your parents. Does the dinner has to be exactly at the same time when the game is on?

 

 

oh btw, once again I brake up with guys who are crazy about football/any kind of sport as a spectator.

[dragon lady]

Oh my goodness, I feel your pain. Sport is starting to become a major issue in my relationship too. I could deal with the football, but now this whole world cup thing is causing so many problems. He's been staying up all night to watch this nonsense.

 

I think it's terrible that your boyfriend is going to watch soccer instead of going to your birthday dinner. That's extremely disrespectful, in my opinion. It shows where his priorities are, and that's not with you.

[dragon lady]

Disclaimer: I don't date guys who like football or watch it. I can't stand it. And when I find out a guy is that much into WATCHING sport (it's watching not actually playing...so I think it's dumb and immature and lazy) I don't bother dating him.

 

 

oh btw, once again I brake up with guys who are crazy about football/any kind of sport as a spectator.

 

Smart woman we have here.

[civilservant]

Smart woman we have here.

 

Or one who is completely wrong... its the most popular sport on the planet for a good reason, and as such she's cutting herself off from a huge percentage of the population, depending on her location.

[OptomisticGirl]

 

I think it's terrible that your boyfriend is going to watch soccer instead of going to your birthday dinner. That's extremely disrespectful, in my opinion. It shows where his priorities are, and that's not with you.

 

I wouldn't exactly say that.

 

My fiance is a football fanatic. I KNEW this going in and it's one of the many reasons I love him. Doesn't mean I'm gonna sit and watch every game with him or completely understand when he chooses to watch a football game over spending couple time but in the back of my mind I know the football game isn't going to last forever. I am.

 

Now I can understand if the OP's boyfriend's country is in the semi-finals. Even I"m smart enough to know that if England got there, nothing short of me being pregnant and in labor would move my fiance from the tv set. But if his country isn't in them then yes, he is being a jerk. Supporting your country is one thing, completely being obsessed and missing your girlfriend's birthday is another.

 

Like I said, talk to him and see if you can rearrange things around the matches or if he is willing to watch only one match and spend the rest of the day with you.

[OptomisticGirl]

Disclaimer: I don't date guys who like football or watch it. I can't stand it. And when I find out a guy is that much into WATCHING sport (it's watching not actually playing...so I think it's dumb and immature and lazy) I don't bother dating him.

 

 

 

oh btw, once again I brake up with guys who are crazy about football/any kind of sport as a spectator.

 

I use to say this as well. My ex's best friend is an American football fanatic and I can't understand how his wife handles it. Maybe it's because I played football and I can actually WATCH it and enjoy it, it doesn't bother me that my fiance is a football fanatic.

 

Def wouldn't have gotten a marriage proposal if I didn't...

[anggrace]

I wouldn't ask my husband to NOT watch the final game for my birthday. Birthdays are every year, this game is once every four. Plus you could always go out and celebrate the next night or after the game, compramise. You know your bf would just be thinking of the game the whole time anyway and feeling upset he wasn't watching. That would be no fun.

 

I say this putting myself in your position... but with my husband. It has a lot to do with what I think he might do for me if the tables were turned. I don't know your bf. Does he make sacrifices for you?

[Hermes]

I agree with DN on this.

 

He was upfroont with you and told you he would watch every game and you said OK - so you are stuck with that agreement now. He should arrange to see you on your birthday but after the game.

 

Another thing is, this World Cup will shortly be over, and does not go on forever.

 

H

[rustyschackelf]

Well as a guy I will say that I am obsessed with the world cup to, I look forward to it every 4 years. I wake up at 730 in the morning to watch the games and try to catch as many games as I can everyday. But. I have never once picked watching a game over spending time with my fiancé, in fact I missed half of the brazil/Portugal game yesterday because she wanted to go out. I think he needs a reality check to remind himself of what needs to come first in his life. And for him to not celebrate ur birthday with u because of it is rediculous. What does he expect, for you to be without him on your birthday every 4 years?

[FathomFear]

I'd let it go. The World Cup happens only once every four years, and he clearly set the expectation that he'd be watching every game.

 

Mind you, I don't think that should stop you from suggesting alteratives. For example, maybe he could record the game that happens during your birthday meal and just resist the temptation of checking scores during that time.

[Siriana]

Or one who is completely wrong... its the most popular sport on the planet for a good reason, and as such she's cutting herself off from a huge percentage of the population, depending on her location.

 

shhhhh.... you would be surprised how many don't care about it. I'm in Europe. Croatia. the thing is I actually never attracted guys who like it.I simply don't attract them and they don't attract me. I am some sort of a fanatic sport spectator repellent. even my male friends don't watch it.

but thats not my point. My point is - if you have a man who likes it live with it or leave. And I think majority of women won't give up on their marriage or good relationship because of football so there's no use in nagging.

[Puckdog27]

I would keep in mind too that this is an event that occurs every 4 years and as you can see by the world's interest is very, very special to us soccer (OK....football, Im a yank) fans. Women in this country often have to deal with 17 weeks of American football every year, 4 or 5 days/nights a week for the huge football fans. Im not saying that his placing football over you is justified, just that its a unique event.

 

So is it worth not compromising a little every 4 years?

[penelope13]

Recording the game and watching it later??? - Really NOT an option for someone who enjoys the sport and the whole atmosphere of the World Cup. It's an even that is celebrated around the world, and a big thing for many, many people.

 

Since he told you upfront, there is nothing much you can complain about. I understand that you birthday is important to you, but as others have suggested: do you have to celebrate it exactly on that day at that time?

[PhilliesFan001]

I would let it go.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

I feel Siriana and DL are harsh as I'm a sports fan, but their point is exactly right in terms of not dating someone who clashes with your personal interests to such a degree. He is obviously very hard core about this, as are many fans of the sport. It is a religion for most fans, odd as it may seem. I really had no clue until I saw how involved my own bf got about it.

 

If it were my birthday, I'd be spending it watching with him lol because I recognize what an event this is.

I think it is understandable that you're annoyed, but you may need to evaluate the connection. In four years, he could be missing your wedding for the games, etc, etc.

 

Something worth contemplating. We can't change people, but we can find someone who shares our values and priorities. Best of luck in this situation.

[SayWhen]

If it's only one game on your birthday, why can't you two plan to do something that works around the schedule of that game?

[gem90]

Just to clear some things up and answers questions etc...

I live in Wales.Therefore my bf is definitely NOT an england supporter haha. He supports Italy, who are already out, and so its not like his team will be playing in the semi finals. The semis are also on at 7:30pm here, and I usually like to go out to eat between 7 and 8. Even if I moved it a bit earlier or a bit later, he would likely be missing some of the game.

I realise that this is a big event that only occurs once every 4 years, but he watches all football, any football, all the time, every year. And I do watch it with him. I think I said I wasnt going to watch any of the world cup because the idea of a whole month of football from 12pm to 10pm just made me bored thinking about it. And he's watched every single game so far, I haven't complained and just left him to it. If it wasn't my birthday it wouldnt have been an issue, theres not that long left and I wouldve just waited til its over. But it IS my birthday and I think birthdays are important and something to be celebrated with those close to you. I guess it just hurts a bit that he doesnt recognise that and would rather watch football.

I've tried changing the time and date, and there just doesnt seem to be a suitable time and date when the footballs not on and when we're both free. I have tried to compromise here but with work and everything else its not that easy.

I think its just a case of waiting til its finished. I can't see him missing any of it.

Thanks for all your thoughts people