Should I Ask Her Where We Stand?

[soporcogitavi]

Ive been dating a girl for 3 weeks now. Things are pretty intense between us. We slept together after the 3rd date. We've seen each other about 9-10 times. Including 3 days in a row. Our last date was yesterday, I took her for a picnic at a Park, packed a lunch, bottle of wine. We laid there for almost 4 hours. Then she cooked dinner for me, and I ended up staying the night.

 

Yesterday she made some interesting comments. While we we're out there was a couple jogging by and she said "look at that couple, they're in much better shape the us" and then I made a cooment on a couple I saw and remarked how its funny that they were dressed the same, and she made a joke saying we should dress the same.

 

Also she invited me for dinner last week with her best friend, we went out for Dinner for her Birthday.

 

Yesterday after our picnic, she asked me If I wanted to go to her place for dinner, she said we should go to the grocery store and buy some food, and she would cook dinner. We got back to her place. Stayed in her bed for 3hrs (fill in the blank). Then she made dinner, told me I could sleep at her place and she cuddled with me all night.

 

Needless to say its been a pretty intense 3 weeks, and things are going fast but I am into her and im wondering where we stand, and we often talk about doing things together in the future like going to see a band thats coming to our town in August. Does she assume we're a couple or should I ask her. I have actually stopped dating other people since our 3rd date.

 

I guess im wondering if I should bring up "the talk? Im going away to Europe for 3 weeks in a couple of weeks, and I'd like to know where we stand. What she wants. She has all the qualities that I expect from a partner and there's definitely physical chemistry.

 

Please let me know your thoughts

 

Thanks!!

 

If anyone has any questions, just ask.

 

 

 

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Ok so im thinking of speaking with her tonight, she wants me to come over so we can start watching a television series together that she just started renting. I told her "if I start watching a series that means Ill want to watch the whole thing" she said "well we'll watch all of them together"

 

For some reason, im a little nervous to ask her. In my last relationship I asked about 1month in after our first time we had sex. But since things have moved so quickly and we had sex after out 3rd date, im a little nervous. She seems really interested, but yet we both have our profiles on the online dating site up.

 

How can i bring it up without putting too much pressure or scaring her off?

 

If I wasnt going away next week for 3 weeks I would be more inclined to let things run their course or wait, but considering the intensity of the relationship and the fact ill be gone, I think something should be mentioned.

 

Usually im pretty good with words but this women has me at a loss, lol.

[sidehop]

Im going away to Europe for 2 weeks in a couple of weeks, and I'd like to know where we stand.

 

This is what I would tell/ask. I don't see anything that indicate you two aren't couples.

[Ms Darcy]

Doesn't hurt to talk, but be prepared for anything she says. 3 weeks isn't very long.

[Justnotsure]

Sounds like she wants to be your girlfriend. I bet she'd feel relieved if you clarified things before your trip, so she knows what your boundaries are when you're away.

[soporcogitavi]

Do you guys think I should wait till just before I go away, or should I just go ahead and bring it up next time I see her?

[sidehop]

If you're leaving in two weeks I'd bring it up soon.

[Gabo]

Someone is going to criticize me for saying this, but I think you should let her bring up the commitment talk. It sounds like things are going well and I'd just go with it. Sometimes it just kind of upsets the nature of things when it is the guy who brings up the "are we a couple?" issue. I think there is a strong chance that if you don't very soon, she will. Maybe bring it up right before the trip if she hasn't because then you would really have a reason to. Just my 2 cents. I'm sure other people disagree.

[addictedblue]

Someone is going to criticize me for saying this, but I think you should let her bring up the commitment talk. It sounds like things are going well and I'd just go with it. Sometimes it just kind of upsets the nature of things when it is the guy who brings up the "are we a couple?" issue. I think there is a strong chance that if you don't very soon, she will. Maybe bring it up right before the trip if she hasn't because then you would really have a reason to. Just my 2 cents. I'm sure other people disagree.

 

I don't agree whatsoever. The guy should always bring up that talk. OP, just bring it up.

[waveseer]

Am I the only one astounded by intimate relationships where the people are afraid of talking to each other about anything? This is not intended as a put down, but you have been as close to her as a man can be and she's been as close to you as a woman can be. It's time to let it all hang out!

[Kaiser_Soze]

She is very much into you. Spending her birthday with you, introducing you to her friend, making dinner and inviting you to stay over... Those are all signs of the direction she would like to go. As long as you feel the same way, I would definitely bring it up. I wouldn't approach it with a "where do we stand" attitude, it's not a very romantic way to establish a commitment. Instead I would put your feelings on the line, be a man, tell her how being with her makes you feel. Women find it appealing when a man takes a risk by putting his feelings on the line first. It's kinda romantic and endearing.

[Gabo]

I don't agree whatsoever. The guy should always bring up that talk. OP, just bring it up.

 

Look, every relationship I have had it has been so obvious that we were a couple that we didn't really need a talk. It sounds like this guy is already pretty much there. Last time it came up I had been dating a girl for 5 weeks or so and the afternoon before we had been drinking with her work friends and she said, "So someone from work asked who was the guy I was with? What should I tell him?" I thought that was a good way. I hate big dramatic talks, especially at the beginning of a relationship.

 

In my experience, it has been the girl asking about the status of the relationship right before or after we just crossed home plate. Maybe thats just me.

 

Why should the guy always bring up the talk? I don't know if my reasoning is any better.... its just the dynamic that I am used to.

[soporcogitavi]

Ok so im thinking of speaking with her tonight, she wants me to come over so we can start watching a television series together that she just started renting. I told her "if I start watching a series that means Ill want to watch the whole thing" she said "well we'll watch all of them together"

 

For some reason, im a little nervous to ask her. In my last relationship I asked about 1month in after our first time we had sex. But since things have moved so quickly and we had sex after out 3rd date, im a little nervous. She seems really interested, but yet we both have our profiles on the online dating site up.

 

How can i bring it up without putting too much pressure or scaring her off?

 

If I wasnt going away next week for 3 weeks I would be more inclined to let things run their course or wait, but considering the intensity of the relationship and the fact ill be gone, I think something should be mentioned.

 

Usually im pretty good with words but this women has me at a loss, lol.

[mmmd]

say this verbatim,

 

"dear baby, i wanna bang you full-time. more importantly, i don't want any other man's genitals in/near/around your mouth/vagina/ass/hand/foot/etc. is this agreeable for you? if yes, let us consummate this decision by you fellating me after preparing me a feast."

[soporcogitavi]

say this verbatim,

 

"dear baby, i wanna bang you full-time. more importantly, i don't want any other man's genitals in/near/around your mouth/vagina/ass/hand/foot/etc. is this agreeable for you? if yes, let us consummate this decision by you fellating me after preparing me a feast."

 

lol, very smooth, anyone have a more subtle/sophisticated way. I must admot I did have a good laugh.

[mmmd]

do you really need to have the talk? i don't even understand why.

 

is she going to cheat on you while you're gone just because you didn't? and if she does, would you want to be with her in the first place?

[HeartGoesOn]

After the fact that you've already been intimate, why would it be a problem asking her where you stand? Maybe it's just me, but I feel that you have to feel secure, and comfortable with someone in order to go to that level.

[soporcogitavi]

do you really need to have the talk? i don't even understand why.

 

is she going to cheat on you while you're gone just because you didn't? and if she does, would you want to be with her in the first place?

 

Well I think partially maybe she will be unsure of where we stand before I leave, and i dont want her to think that now that im going away I will just go ahead and have fun, and see her when I get back.

[mmmd]

so just tell her that?

 

"i don't want you to feel unsure of where we stand as i go off to europe, and frankly, i wouldn't mind knowing myself. so where do you see "us?""