Ladies, would you or have you dated an awkward guy?

[dog stevens]

And what are your thoughts on it? I only mean awkward by the way, not necessarily shy.

[misssmithviii]

Uhhh, awkward meaning... ? There are many ways a person can be awkward, in what way are you referring to exactly?

[dog stevens]

Uhhh, awkward meaning... ? There are many ways a person can be awkward, in what way are you referring to exactly?

 

Well, socially awkward I guess. You know, says the wrong stuff at the wrong time, tells unfunny jokes, weird with eye contact, etc

[Capricorn3]

OP: You have MANY many threads on the identical topic and have had hundreds of replies. What exactly are you looking for? You keep getting the same responses, so what more do you want? (Just trying to understand).

[misssmithviii]

Well socially awkward is just a great way to make other people (or new people) feel uncomfortable. There's a certain balance of confidence and original quirkiness that my man had when we first met. Social skills are developed, when I meet someone without those social skills it just is unavoidably weird (IMO) - but once again it does depend on how awkward that person is.

 

While I don't condone ever changing who you are, being easy to talk to and friendly is something good. Either that or just stick with the people who accept your awkwardness - there's tons of people out there!

[dog stevens]

OP: You have MANY many threads on the identical topic and have had hundreds of replies. What exactly are you looking for? You keep getting the same responses, so what more do you want? (Just trying to understand).

 

Well, I've gone for lots and lots of girls and constantly get rejected (and no I don't have high standards). The top complaints I get from most girls are that I'm too awkward and I'm too skinny. I started lifting weights and taking weight gain powder, so the skinniness part can be fixed. But the awkwardness part cannot be fixed no matter what I do. So I'm curious as to how I can get a girlfriend and still be socially awkward OR if there is some way possible for me to eradicate my social awkwardness.

[misssmithviii]

Perhaps you need higher standards? I think you're fixating on having a gf, and at least for me, that's always been an unattractive trait. Not saying to be a d*ck or play hard-to-get or whatever, but if you feel like you need a gf and are spending this much mental energy thinking of ways to get a girl well... that does show.

 

You shouldn't have to conform into any certain way, and having low standards surely isn't helping. Why not lift weights to get yourself in shape rather than to get girls? How about work on your own social awkwardness in order to just be more pleasant to talk to rather than to... well, just get girls?

 

Seems to me if you stay in that mindset, you'll unknowingly be trying too hard.

[dog stevens]

Well, like I said no matter how I try to work on my social awkwardness, it can't be fixed.

[Capricorn3]

Well, like I said no matter how I try to work on my social awkwardness, it can't be fixed.

Go back and read your numerous threads on this topic - there is a LOT of good advice on what you can do to fix this.

[dog stevens]

Go back and read your numerous threads on this topic - there is a LOT of good advice on what you can do to fix this.

 

I did and tried all of that advice, nothing fixed it.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Well, socially awkward I guess. You know, says the wrong stuff at the wrong time, tells unfunny jokes, weird with eye contact, etc

 

I love guys who are eloquent. I've dated weird. Weird can be cute.

 

But, I love a guy with a quick wit. Especially when I'm the only other person who gets the reference/joke.

[Capricorn3]

I did and tried all of that advice, nothing fixed it.

Now I wonder why I don't believe that, lol.

[misssmithviii]

There's nothing too difficult to at least take steps toward. You're probably not taking steps, giving yourself some time because you're so fixated on getting a gf.

Why not be comfortable with yourself?

 

People are saying you've already gotten such good advice - take it. You say it can't be fixed but everything can be - if you stay in the mindset you're in then it'll never get done. It's up to you. Pretty soon you'll realize people can only say so much, after that - you've got to be self-aware enough to get closer to your goal.

 

I doubt your social awkwardness is just awkwardness - I think it's stemming from something else you need to work on within yourself if you expect it to change.

 

If you say it's impossible, you can receive all the best advice in the world and nothing will change. Change takes time, tenacity, determination. You cannot say you're determined and passionate about something yet not continue to strive towards your goal.

[Dako]

Well, like I said no matter how I try to work on my social awkwardness, it can't be fixed.

 

Believe me, I was once so awkward it was bizarre. Imagine having a fashion model holding your head in her lap and you turn her down. I'm serious.

In time I fixed plenty of things. It's not final.

 

It takes time to find yourself.

[Momake]

I did and tried all of that advice, nothing fixed it.

 

Making note that I haven't gone back and read all the the threads pertaining to this topic... what was say 1-3 things you did (as per advice from people on ENA) to try to change your awkwardness?

[misssmithviii]

If you keep saying you can't fix it, there's no way, or whatnot - it just shows you're not willing to keep trying. Those are what I call, "dead sentences". It's like you're asking for help, you're needing insight but no matter what anybody tells you, you immediately retort with "it won't work." It becomes a dead end.

[Capricorn3]

It's like you're asking for help, you're needing insight but no matter what anybody tells you, you immediately retort with "it won't work." It becomes a dead end.

That's exactly how it has been in all the previous threads on this topic. Many people eventually give up as it's totally pointless.

[bulletproof]

Your join date to ENA is Jan. 2009... that is not nearly enough time to even try one piece of advice and expect results. Real change takes a long time and a lot of work. You will not magically become someone else overnight. So you either fix it or hope that someone will overlook it enough to date you. It seems kind of silly to do the latter, especially since fixing this awkwardness will probably help you in other areas of your life beyond relationships. This is your one life; why not make it the best it can be?

[FathomFear]

Can you describe one example of an "awkward" moment you've had recently with a woman? ie, what was the situation, what did you say, etc? I'm curious whether you really are awkward or whether that is how you perceive yourself.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I've known some very socially awkward guys. Some changed, they made the effort and it was noticeable. The changes they made took time, the most improved guy took a few years, but they did change. Patience and perseverance, that should be your mantra.

 

Also, awkwardness isn't just a guy thing, I was pretty awkward and painfully shy, I took the time and made the effort to change. It took time, but I'm much more comfortable in social settings and relate more easily to people. Dating is a big step, but can be done.

[In the Dark]

Depends on past experiences which leave you awkward as a person.

 

Certain scenarios which made it hard for you to create conversation with someone.

 

You can take all the advice and do it but it won't work if what you feels is uncomfortable regardless of approach.

[LightbulbSun]

Some people are just awkward naturally. I know I was born awkward, yet some girls have found my awkwardness cute.

 

OP, honestly I don't know. I don't understand women, I guess all women are different and they all want different things? It sounds like you're running into the same type of girl over and over, maybe try for a different type of girl?

[msDazed_N_Confused]

Whatever it is that makes you awkward, there is going to be a woman out there that likes you for who you are.

I have a colleague that is horribly awkward, down to being obnoxious and irritating. Well he found the love of his life. She doesn't mind, she probably thinks its quirky and cute.

 

There is someone for everyone, right. And you should only change if it is bothering you, not if the goal is to please other people. You just can't please everyone and whatever you are like, there are always people that still won't like you.