Going to sleep after a fight

[Theblueman123]

It's nearly impossible for me to do, since I have to resolve the fight as soon as possible. Do you go to sleep after a fight with your S.O. versus having to resolve things?

[_Asti_]

Depends on the nature of things. If its something that just needs a little time, I have 'slept' on things and come back together the following day to reasses whatever the issue was.

 

In the course of my relationship, the issues we've had are things that take time to work on...we rarely have petty arguments, or trivial fights, or any of that..generally the things that have caused a disagreement either can be resolved with a simple conversation which we're good at..or take some time to let it process and figure things out individually and reassess at another time. And if thats the case, I have no problems sleeping because its what we decided to do. Very rarely do things get dragged on for a long period of time, or we ignore the other person..we just don't leave it. We resolve it the time and work through it and move on.

[Cognitive_Canine]

While you have to resolve the fight before you can sleep, your partner may have to sleep on it before she can calmly talk about it. You have to respect that.

 

I've gone to sleep angry many of times. It kind of stinks. But, I usually wake up in a better mood and can handle the argument better than I would have if I was angry.

[Carnatic]

I don't like to do anything until the fight it resolved.

[HouseKitten]

One of the things I hated about my ex was that if we argued, he was a 'give me time' person where I am a 'sort it out now' person. I get literally sick with anxiety if the argument is bad enough and although he knew that, he'd still back off and insist we discussed it 'later'. Part of me wonders if he was torturing me on some level - I felt so awful, in return for arguing with him.

 

With my current boyfriend, he's a lot more on my side. The last time we had to have a serious conversation, we were both up till 3am talking. It just had to be sorted, so we sorted it. And it makes me a lot less anxious knowing that's how it is.

[In the Dark]

Some people like to leave the argument in the air to make you feel bad as you dwell over it in hopes that you will be the one to apologize.

[Niinjaa]

For me, it depends on the subject of the fight--no matter *who* I'm fighting with. If it's some small, trivial thing I can usually sleep, and then the next day we realize how stupid it is. However, if it's a big deal, I don't like to sleep unless everything's been worked out--whether for good or for bad.

[Jd1983]

My bf and I agreed to never go to sleep angry with each other.

 

I don't think I'll be getting much sleep anyways if things weren't resolved.

[thejigsup]

I never like to resolve things "then and there". I'm a "think it over type". I don't do it to be mean or controlling, I just CAN'T resolve things without a day or two to think it over. Neither way is wrong, but you can learn to just relax and give people their space. It's better for you and better for them.

[DN]

It is better to resolve a fight when you are both calmer and able to see things more in perspective. If that requires one person to have a night for that to happen then it is best to let them.

[Doc Blaze]

me and my gf are alike in manys ways..this is one that we arent..im one that doesnt like to sleep on it...i dont sleep good and i stay up all night dwelling on it..where she wants to come back at a time where she isnt frustrated and upset..we have become a little better at meeting in the middle on this

[thejigsup]

If anyone pushes me for an immediate resolution, I will most likely explode on them. If they come back a day, or two, or three, later, I am willing to talk in a calm, rational, manner and settle things nicely. Timing is everything. I know it must be hard if you are a "settle it now" kind of person, but some of us just can't.

[greywolf]

One of the things I hated about my ex was that if we argued, he was a 'give me time' person where I am a 'sort it out now' person. I get literally sick with anxiety if the argument is bad enough and although he knew that, he'd still back off and insist we discussed it 'later'. Part of me wonders if he was torturing me on some level - I felt so awful, in return for arguing with him.

 

Some people like to leave the argument in the air to make you feel bad as you dwell over it in hopes that you will be the one to apologize.

 

I think for a lot of people, it's not about trying to make your partner feel bad. I'm the type of person that needs to think about how I feel before I can actually talk about it. What usually happens when a fight gets resolved right away is that I figure out later that there were a lot of things that I would have liked to say, but now I can't because I'm not one to rehash the past.

[faithful14]

I don't like going to bed unless an argument has been resolved and my boyfriend is the opposite where he likes to get space before coming back and talking about it. If the argument happens at nighttime, then we usually wait till the next day to talk it out and it does seem to work better. Sometimes as much as you don't want to, you got give each other time to cool off so when you come back, you will be reasonable and you will be calm enough to listen to one another. It's easy in the heat of the moment to lash out on your partner and say mean things to another. So before it escalates, it's better to say goodnight and revisit the argument the next day.

[In the Dark]

I'm very logical with arguments.

So if there is an issue, i don't let irrational judgment cloud my head.

 

Everything is black and white to me unless I am soft on the person, then I will let the argument go in their favor which is where I fail.