How do you revive something that has died inside you?

[bittersweetlad]

I'm in a relationship of now five years. It's been rocky for quite some time but always in a manner that was seemingly "managable". Over the past year and a half there's been physical abuse (during my pregnancy as well), lack of respect, neglect and infedelity. The last huge fight we had I got beat down, literally, and found out about a few sexual indescretions. We are traditionally married but hadn't made it to the traditional white wedding and had it down on paper. He says he's sorry, doesnt know what he was thinking, is gonna change etc. Everything I've heard way too many times before. Right now his actions seem to be pushing me further and further away. I love him, this I know. But I don't really think I still want to be with him. Our families are pushing me to hold on for the babies sake. Quite frankly I dont feel thats reason enough. If I'm to give this a go. How do i get into it? how do I not just give up and let go? Either way i need to do something. Counselling is tricky at the moment given the fact that finances are terrible right now. So what do i do? what do WE do???

[mumto2]

Firstly you need to put a stop this this behaviour by removing yourself from the situation. Is there anywhere you could stay temporarily ie; your parents or a friend? x

[bittersweetlad]

all 600k's away. if i go there i stand a chance of losing my job which is not an option right now

[alli]

Wow, I can't believe your family is encouraging you to stay in an abusive relationship. And how could they possibly think it is in the best interest of that baby to live in a house where their mother gets beat & abused?? It's NOT. Have you told them what he's done to you? You need to, if you haven't. If they don't know yet, I can't possibly imagine they wouldn't want you to leave that situation & stay with them for a while.

 

Some things are more important than money. You think you can't afford to leave, but really, you can't afford to STAY. If you have no support from your family, please go to a woman's shelter. You will work it out from there, but if you stay, nothing will change. It will only get WORSE. And you don't want your baby growing up thinking it's normal for men to hit women. Do what's best for both of you.

[top bloke]

You have to end it and find a way to get away. No woman should tolerate physical abuse. If you want to find your passion in life and as a woman then you need to move on.