NC te get your exback?

[getbiii]

yeah im thinkig that hopefully by stepping away i will acomplish two things

 

A) work on myself =) free time! better me! fun, etc (good for a new relationship)

 

B) she will notice that even without me in her life her problems will continue thus hopefully she will see that she is not better with out me.

[fr0z3n]

yeah im thinkig that hopefully by stepping away i will acomplish two things

 

A) work on myself =) free time! better me! fun, etc (good for a new relationship)

 

B) she will notice that even without me in her life her problems will continue thus hopefully she will see that she is not better with out me.

 

Yeah you're right but dont get your hopes up too high... we still dont know what will happen in the future as you're in a hard situation right now...

 

Hopefully, you can work on yourself w/c is good and if sometime down the road she'll contact you again, you're in a good shape... and while doing that, you're not giving any pressure on her, and if she really do love you, she will realize that on your absence, you are really not the cause of her depression, but it's the pressure that the people around her is giving to her...

 

rest assured that she wont see this like you are avoiding her, you already gave your full support and you already said that you're there to support her and that you love her... being away will make her realize the things that you have done for her...

 

but if things didn't turned out as planned... and she chose to be with the other guy, at least you've had time to make yourself better and maybe you're ready to move on and let go by that time...

[MakestheBest]

i first waved nicely at her neighbor and he was red and ignored me, then i turned and waved high to my ex =O she totally ignored me!

 

what the hell? are you sure there is not something you're leaving out. Why does her entire camp treat you like el diablo?

 

Your story is getting way out of hand. I don't understand how she could check out of a hospital and be back in his arms unless the fact that she was sick drove hiim to run to her. I dont like how she tries to push your buttons, I dont like how you tried to push hers. You can't base your relationship on manipulation. That is a house of cards. Just when you stack the jack the whole thing comes crumbling down. Too weak.

 

Her doctor, her parents, everyone should be advising her to be alone right now. Thats what professionals do. Every issue stems from yourself. She should be trying to reevaluate herself right now.

 

I'm 100 % sure you are in a codependent relationship. You BOTH are.You are making the mistake of thinking that because the drama all stems from her she is the less healthy of you too. But your codependency is shown in the way you obsessively want to help her and pick up the pieces. The fact that you deal with the painful stuff she dishes out and you dish out a bit of your own.

 

I want you to step back from your ex for awhile. Shoot I want to step back from you ex-she's driving me nutz! So you can evaluate things properly. Just give it a few days. She'll contact you again and feed you some more info that you can make a decision off of. But this is just nutz right now.

 

I know that you're hurting and you think about ways to fix your situation all the time, but you may be able to manipulate her briefly into doing this or that, but no relationship can be maintained with this kind of a foundation.

[getbiii]

awww makesthe best don't get mad =( ! haha

 

i didn't leave a thing out! exept that her dad was with her too, oh and that guy seems in depression too, he had the depressed person look going for him. you know hasn't shaved in forever, sad face, etc. i think its probably what you said, that he ran to her, i mean he does live next door to her remember? or if not i think she may be using him as a emotioanl crutch or a way to try and forget me.

after all i wouldn't like to think she lied to me when she said all those things about him,

i do believe it, after all he does look a lot like an emotional crutch... from what her friend told me the other day all the love in their relationship seems to only be coming from him to her. she said that on my ex's facebook, twitter, myspace. he is the only one posting corny things to her, the i love yous etc.

 

to tell you the truth i felt really awkward when i saw them, not that much because of them but because i was having fun smoking a cigarrete, joking around, everything was so relaxed then it was like in midschool when some authority figure comes around and shuts your fun down. i always tell everything that happens. even more because when they showed up i was talking about how hot a girl that worked in that store was, after my ex left i even went to hit on that girl (or at least what i call hit on)

don't worry i am thinking clearly now, im not trying to manipulate her again honestly.

like i told fr0z3n, i love her and would like to get back with her, but not right now anymore, this is way to much drama for me. i got tired of everything since that day she told me she wanted to forget me, i don't care if she is in depression or not i don't diserve that from anyone. thats why i haven't been answering back anymore to her, not because im trying to manipulate her. thats why i replied "who knows" the other day instead of why or i love you too.

 

last night i was thinking and thats why i sent her that text saying im here for her, because i was thinking and i said F*** it im more mature than this, just because she is dramatic doesn't mean i will be too, im a good person and ill help someone in need and not because i wanna get back with her, but because she needs it. after all thats what anyone who has any kind of feelings for someone would do.

 

lol and im still in denial about that codependancy stuff!

[MakestheBest]

awww makesthe best don't get mad =( ! haha

 

I'm not mad. I'm getting a little frustrated to be honest.. 80 percent FOR you and 20 percent AT you .

 

If you are going to move away from her, be mature and let her know...let her know for me_okay? My ex stopped talking to me ( I broke up with him and because of the way he had been behaving I felt forced to do it thru email ). He never responded. I tried to talk to him a month later. He won;t respond to phone calls or text. And it's killing me. I feel lost. Its kind of cruel and immature ( Mad at HIM btw not you ). Its just the right thing to do.

 

 

lol and im still in denial about that codependancy stuff!

 

yes you are!

[fr0z3n]

like i told fr0z3n, i love her and would like to get back with her, but not right now anymore, this is way to much drama for me. i got tired of everything since that day she told me she wanted to forget me, i don't care if she is in depression or not i don't diserve that from anyone.

 

 

Good thing you're having fun dude (though I think it's ruined after you saw them)... Yes you're right, they are in a mess right now, you don't deserve to be in the mess that they are in right now... let them handle all those stuffs, it's not worth to be a hero this time... I think you've done enough, supported her and told her you're there for her, it's now time to see if she really meant what she said that she loved you and she dont want to be with the other guy and for now, she needs to address her own problems and the only one who can help her is herself...

 

Whaterver you do, you're the bad guy here so staying away for a while is a must... I hope you are on the process of healing right now, if she really want to forget you, maybe you want to continue moving on and leting her go...

[getbiii]

If you are going to move away from her, be mature and let her know...let her know for me_okay? My ex stopped talking to me ( I broke up with him and because of the way he had been behaving I felt forced to do it thru email ). He never responded. I tried to talk to him a month later. He won;t respond to phone calls or text. And it's killing me. I feel lost. Its kind of cruel and immature ( Mad at HIM btw not you ). Its just the right thing to do.QUOTE]

 

well now i feel much better now! i wouldn't like to lose your support makesthebest! haha =)

 

i don't think im moving away from her, more like putting a pause on things, i mean i would still like to have her in my life in a near future! just not now, not how she is right now, and with all this drama.

 

i don't know if i ever told you guys but we went out in highschool and we ended really badly and me telling her i never loved her and after that we got together years later

[MakestheBest]

well now i feel much better now! i wouldn't like to lose your support makesthebest! haha =)

 

Nah...never gonna happen.

 

i don't think im moving away from her, more like putting a pause on things, i mean i would still like to have her in my life in a near future! just not now, not how she is right now, and with all this drama.

 

okay that makes me feel better. Both for your situation and mine. He's going thru drama with his ex that I couldnt deal with "SAY something to her! Then move on."

 

When you do the right and healthy thing always you encourage a relationship with someone who can hang with that...so letting her know whats up is more about you than her. Pls, pls do the right thing! It would make me feel better.

[getbiii]

okay that makes me feel better. Both for your situation and mine. He's going thru drama with his ex that I couldnt deal with "SAY something to her! Then move on."

 

When you do the right and healthy thing always you encourage a relationship with someone who can hang with that...so letting her know whats up is more about you than her. Pls, pls do the right thing! It would make me feel better.

 

im not sure i know what you are saying completely. are you saying i should tell her i still want to be with her but not now?

may i ask what happened in your situation? a brief story

[getbiii]

Whaterver you do, you're the bad guy here so staying away for a while is a must... I hope you are on the process of healing right now, if she really want to forget you, maybe you want to continue moving on and leting her go...

 

i think im about to heal, i mean i don't hurt anymore because im not with her, but she is still on my mind often. i know what you mean and i will stay away even if i don't want to i have no other choice. unless she looks for me, i hope what she said was true, not only for me but that would be really cruel if it isn't even for her current boyfriend, how could she say that about him if it wasn't true?

[MakestheBest]

are you saying i should tell her i still want to be with her but not now?

 

Hell no! I just dont want you to flat out ignore her..Just say "Things are getting too hectic to me, the things you are telling me aren't making much sense. I'm going to go do my own thing for awhile"...THEN you can ignore her cause you've given her fair warning. You can even leave it less open ended. Like you're just going on about your business no hint of coming back but don't just dip.

 

 

I'll PM you my story...I don't want to bore people.

[getbiii]

Hell no! I just dont want you to flat out ignore her..Just say "Things are getting too hectic to me, the things you are telling me aren't making much sense. I'm going to go do my own thing for awhile"...THEN you can ignore her cause you've given her fair warning

 

ooh ok i get what you mean but i mean i haven't really been ignoring her, i mean i waved hi to her when i saw her, i've replied to her when she texts me, the only day i ignored her was yesterday on the IM but it wasn't on purpose, i was watching a movie online and when i closed the movie window she was online and after a while she logged off i was hoping she said hi to me first, i didn't want to say hi to her after she ignored me when i waved hi

[getbiii]

so i had contact with my ex today, out of no where she sent me an email with the title "look at what i found it was part of a conversation we had a long time ago, it was about me once when i got mad at her and made her cry, i got mad because her mom was kicking her out of her house and sold her stuff, i had invited her to live with me and she didn't want to, even my mom told her to go live with me, she didn't want to because i wasn't there i was in mexico for vacations and she said she wanted to wait for me, when i made her cry she was with my friends and thy talked to me and i told them i couldn't believe she was choosing to live on the streets instead of with me, anyways the conversation was jsut me getting mad and kinda showing how mch i cared for her and all i did for her,

she sent me a text saying did you erase me from your msn? i had blocked her buut i didn't reply that, i said i was offline but that i didn't see her online anyway, she said ok then i told her i had recieved her e-mail and saw it, i asked why she sent that, if it was to remind me how much of a bad person i was? she said no, not at all sorry. i texted her back saying i too found some old pictures the other day when i turned on my old cell, she said she had been going thru old texts of when she was in europe and that she realized that she loved me so much, more than anything.

i didn't reply back because i was thinking of what to reply i unblocked her and she said hi, i told her i was going to reply and that i loved her so much to even thou she didn't believe me. i started making small talk. then i realized i was the only one talking so i told her to tell me things, she said she didn't have anything to tell, i asked her if she wanted to talk she said of course, so fine i kept on talking about my day making it sound all interesting with out lying. i told her i was looking for a new hair cut then she told me that she was looking thru some old videos (of when we were together) and that she used to be very hot, she said she has no idea what happened. she said shes all gross now (i know she does know what happened, when she was with me we had very healthy lives, we stoped drinking, we went on healthy diets and did a lot of sports and got into riding bikes) i replied back something then she took for ever to reply back so i said i was leaving that she didnt look like she was interested in talking to me, i told her i was stepping outside to have a smoke. she said she did want too, and that i didn't smoke and said not to lie.

i told her i didn't but my friends did i was with them and would come back, she said ok take care bye. i said "i told you i would come back but fine if you don't want to talk its ok, take care i love you bye." she replied saying bye i love you....

 

 

 

 

so any thoughts or opinions on this? i find it weird that she was going thru her old stuff, about me. could it be she is realizing she was better off with me?

i kinda didn't feel like talking to her thats why i kept saying i would leave, i checked her face book she uploaded two pictures with this guy and posted "im banging" WT*?

why does she tell me that she thinks shes gross now?

(honestly she is getting fatter and letting go of herself)

[fr0z3n]

Maybe she feels gross because of the mess she's in right now... However there are things that I think that is definitely not good for you... With all this good conversations between you going, you still must think about the other guy, c'mon yit's good you two are getting along well but the other guy is still in the picture and he's with your ex... In your scenario, theres a "chance" that she is using you as a shoulder to cry on but if she really don't love the other guy, she should have done something to him right now but why is she still with him? we can't ignore this other guy... I dont have any idea how you should deal with this guy but from what I see, he's still a threat... About their pictures that she uploaded, why did she posted that she's banging? do you think something did happen to them (had sex?)... Whatever is happening, things are not turning to your favor, remember as of now you're like a support system to her while she still has the other guy (to bang with?)... I'm worried, if things continue, you may get hurt in the end, you may feel that you've been used... I'm thinking maybe you should tell straight to her that if she really loved you, she should leave this other guy, no but, she must do it... tell her also that you will exit in her life for a moment while she continue being with this guy, tell her honestly that it's not fair for you that she's telling she loved you and she didnt love this other guy but she still with this guy... Things are getting complicated...

[getbiii]

yup! don't worry i didn't let myself become a shoulder to cry on, its not like we talked about anything emotional it was really a short conversation and i really wanted to leave, she really meant that she feels gross as in she thinks shes ugly, what i dont get is why she was looking at our old stuff.. this is exactly what she said "i do have something to tell you, i was seeing a video of me of before and i used to be way hotter, i dont know what happened to me, now im so gross. i think i wass better off before when i had issues"(the video she is talking about is a sexy video she sent me when we were apart on vacations) i said "well it seems like you still have issues if you think that"

yeah she posted two pictures of her with that guy, one she is infront of the mirror and he is sitting down on the counter in the next one she is still in the mirror but she is hugging him you cant see him because he is facing the other way, (all the pictures she has posted of him since they are together, are like that. her in a mirror and his back facing the picture) the only ones you can see his face have been uploaded by him and she wrote on that album "i have all these pictures" lol =P

anyways i don't know if they are having sex or not i don't care, but like i said he is the only one saying i love you to her, people comented on the pictures, or more like one of his friends, and rebound guy wrote i love you and she never put i love you back, but she did answer to other things and that guys friend were even making fun of him, the friend saying he is gay and has sex with other dudes, he said that he was a screamer, she said he was more like a whinner lol! he even wrote "WT*?"

 

yeah im not concerned about being her shoulder to cry on, after all i didn't really give her any support expet for when i told her i loved her, besides that i was kinnda just talking about my day even bragging about it. im thinking things with a clear mind now and anytime she tries that i back off, i blocked her again. if she wants to talk to me she is going to have to call me or text me.

so what im really confused about is why he was looking at our old stuff....

[fr0z3n]

we don't know why she looked at your old stuffs, maybe she misses those time that you two are together... Maybe she's a bit insecure right now because of the changes in her figure and if she feels like that, then the other guy sucks (if you're a good bf, your gf shouldnt feel insecure right?) and from what she sees, you're doing great by yourself... and if his friend is making fun of him, that just means that he's such a loser... so far so good, you're doing good but sadly, theres nothing we can do about your girl, she needs to face and deal with her problems by herself... she needs to sort things out, choose between you and the other guy, and if she finally chooses to be with you, she has to have the courage to fight for you and make the effort to be with you, thats the only time that you can help her once she made the efforts...

[getbiii]

she needs to sort things out, choose between you and the other guy, and if she finally chooses to be with you, she has to have the courage to fight for you and make the effort to be with you, thats the only time that you can help her once she made the efforts...

 

couldn't be said better, just help keep me on track! lol remind me not to be her shoulder to cry on, thats what that guy is there for. so what do you think about what happened? is that a plus for me or a negative? seems like she can't stay away from me even if she tries, i don't think there has been a day with out her not reaching out to me.

[fr0z3n]

yeah dude, thats why were here for, to help each other... I think what happened is a plus for you, but still you need to be carefull not to let your guard down... Theres no doubt that shes always thinking about you, the more she doesnt hear anything from you and see you, the more she'll miss you, and because of that, you wont be able to do anything that will mess you up... Let the nature take it's course, just be patient... I wish this won't happen, but if the other guy managed to surpass you a bit (can't explain that much, im not an english speaker), you may want to reappear to her life a bit so she will not forget you then disappear again...

 

We're not certain to what will happen, we dont have any idea what might happen down the line, it's better to continue doing stuff for yourself, atleast no matter what happen (she'll come back or stay with the other guy), it wont affect you that much and you can continue your life without any hard feelings... Thigns are a bit complicated for me now, I haven't experienced or encountered this things already, I'll try my best to help... Good luck dude...

[getbiii]

yes sir! thats my plan from now on, i don't think he can surpass me in two months thou! it would really take a hell of a lot to do! and even less if she still thinks about me...

i am going on NC! only if she contacts me which she has been the one to start it but now i will try to keep it all about me and no her 8-)!

short and sweat!

[fr0z3n]

thats good... keep up the good work... good luck... keep us posted if you need some help or someone to talk to...

[getbiii]

so she texted me this morning it was really weird,

this is the conversation.

 

her "hello"

 

me "good morning"

 

her "good morning"

 

me "how are you doing?"

 

her "good and you"

 

me "thats good, me too"

 

 

end of conversation....

[MakestheBest]

Time to get some new tail.

[getbiii]

hell yeah! i feel like a king right now thou! she can't live with out me! and guess what? i checked her personal profiles, just to see why she would be saying hello to me, turns out she was drinking! lol melancholy? naustalgia???

doesn't matter im going to the gym to work my pretty little self off =) summer is coming! got my new pair of trunks (Very exited to wear them lol) they are like 70's style old school swimming trunks, the short kind. lol don't know how to explain them but anyways i gotta tone my body a bit more!

[fr0z3n]

Thats great... Good thing you'll be enjoying your summer, I have a class this whole summer months from 8am-6pm thats why I wont be able to enjoy my summer... Just ignore the conversation... enjoy yourself...

[getbiii]

what class?

may i ask where you are from?

im guessin you live somewhere like austraulia?