NC te get your exback?

[MakestheBest]

I know that this situation isn't healthy but its very movie romantic. Two lovers being held apart by their families. Aww. Just dont end up killing yourselves in the end Romeo. I'm glad to see the love it seems like it is bringing you guys closer? Just be attentive, she needs you. Isn't that a nice feeling to have.

[getbiii]

yeah she called me again this morning,

we didnt talk much but i let her know she could call me whenever,

i hope she calls again.

 

i now knnow she does care about me,

im just afraid her therapist migh tell her to stay away from me,

or her meds might make her love me less =(

 

i hope she calls again, i didnt like the last conversation,

it was all about how she is doing and that place,

i dont wanna talk about that anymore i wanna help her get distracted

 

what should i talk to her about?

[MakestheBest]

well you know her best. talk to her about the things she likes...movies, the things your friends are doing. A funny story. Your life. She seems to like art and music, talk about bands. I think talking about your mutual friends might be the ticket tho. Most women love to talk about people and relationships.

[HouseKitten]

Be aware of what she wants to talk about as well. You might not enjoy talking about her situation and where she is, but it's possible that she feels better by having someone 'normal' to talk to about it. Maybe you should ask her how she feels about it before you go trying to distract her, in case she gets the wrong end of the stick and thinks you're being uncaring by not wanting to hear about her experiences.

[getbiii]

that is true, well she did ask me what i was doing to kind of make small talk,

i will listen to her if she wants to talk about her situtation but today i feel like i started the conversation

[getbiii]

hey i found a list online of things to say to someone who is depressed....

 

 

 

1. "I love you!"

 

2. "I care"

 

3. "You're not alone in this"

 

4. "I'm not going to leave/abandon you"

 

5. "Do you want a hug?"

 

6. "I love you (if you mean it)."

 

7. "It will pass, we can ride it out together."

 

8. "When all this is over, I'll still be here (if you mean it) and so will you."

 

9. "Don't say anything, just hold my hand and listen while I cry."

 

10. "All I want to do know is give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on.."

 

11. "Hey, you're not crazy!"

 

12. "May the strength of the past reflect in your future."

 

13. "God does not play dice with the universe." --A. Einstein

 

14. "A miracle is simply a do-it-yourself project." --S. Leek

 

15. "We are not primarily on earth to see through one another, but to see one another through"

 

16. "If the human brain were simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it." --a codeveloper of Prozac, quoted from "Listening to Prozac"

 

17. "You have so many extraordinary gifts; how can you expect to live an ordinary life?" --from the movie "Little Women" (Marmee to Jo)

 

18. "I understand your pain and I empathize."

 

19. "I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself so you don't need to worry that your pain might hurt me."

 

20. "I listen to you talk about it, and I can't imagine what it's like for you. I just can't imagine how hard it must be."

 

21. "I can't really fully understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion."

 

22. "You are important to me."

 

23. "If you need a friend..... (and mean it)"

 

 

 

 

what do you guys think about this?

of course i wouldnt say them just like that but i would talk with her and whenever i hear her down i would probably say one of those things

[HouseKitten]

She's your girlfriend, I'm sure you don't need a list to think of nice things to say to her.

 

The main theme of all that is just be supportive, be there, and be understanding. It sounds like you're trying to do those things already. Just remember it's about her right now, and whatever you might think of the situation, she's the one who's in it so her opinion is what matters - if she wants to stay there and get better that's her choice, likewise if she decides to go back to her parents once she gets out. Just be there and be understanding of her decisions.

[getbiii]

thats true, its just im trying to have things to say to her for when she calls if she does call gain. im trying to leave my feelings aside and not think about "us" its all about her right now and her being well and me doing the right thing because she is a person in need. im just afraid that when this is all over she might not want to be with me anymore, i've been thinking about it and i hope she stays there at least a couple of days more... i wouldn't like her to come out without being fully healed and less to her house where she has problems and her rebound is her neighbor.

[getbiii]

hey you guys! so i have an update!

my ex is out ! she hasn't called me since yesterday... but out of curiosity i checked her face and myspace and she posted "out" 2 hours ago. of course she is out, they don't have access to computers in there...

but she hasn't called me...

all i can do now is wait =)

i hope she is better and that she doesn't need to be in there

[MakestheBest]

i'm absolutely routing for you guys.

[getbiii]

yeah =) she didn't contact me all yesterday... =) i hope she contacts me sometime this week

[getbiii]

still no contact from her =\ =( what could be going on?

can her meds make her forget me?

[HouseKitten]

No, meds don't make people forget others.

 

But they might be affecting her moods. She might not feel like talking to anyone. Or her parents might be keeping her under watch. It could be a lot of things. Have you tried to contact her at all?

[getbiii]

no, i do want to but i have no way of doing so, she doesn't have a cell anymore... i can't show up at her house because it would cause problems with her parents and by the looks of things they might have taken her laptop away because i haven't seen her log on to anything, they probably do have her under watch since this is all recent...

 

what is the best way to contact her? or should i just wait?

[MakestheBest]

You're going to have to wait, or get a mutual friend to get a message to her.

[getbiii]

she doesn't have many friends =(

damm it... this is getting so hardd =(

its like she dissapeared off the face of the earth!

 

should i at least leave her an e-mail in case she ever loggs on?

[getbiii]

so still nothing ...

[HouseKitten]

Have you thought about going to visit her?

[getbiii]

going to visit her where?

shes out of that place,

i have thought about going to her house but i wouldn't like to cause problems with her parents... since they asked me to stay away.

i don't know whats up with her, i believe they took her computer away, on the count of she hasn't logged on to anything

[MakestheBest]

are you stressed because you're worried about her or are u stressed because you're worried about your relationship? as far as ure relationship with her, i think ure good.

[getbiii]

well i think its both, im worried about her... i wish i could just know that she exsists.

im also worried that if she is seeing a therapist/psychologists they might try and convince her that im not good for her...

but then again it hasn't even been a week with out hearinf from her

[MakestheBest]

yeah, she is prob just drained and since the last time you spoke she was all about you she doesnt think you're worried.

[getbiii]

what do you mean all about me?

do you think i should just wait this out?

[MakestheBest]

"all about you" means based off of what you said she was gung ho about being back with you. I dont see what else you can do but wait this out. i was more worried about your state of mind, I'm hoping that you don't feel so stressed out.

[getbiii]

oh yeah, thank you i am fine, just still in love.

i am only worried about her health...

but im sure if something would have happened to her i would of known by now.