NC te get your exback?

[djcom80429770]

couldnt agree more..the actions of the OP are not the way it should be handled but, what can ya do? the new guy you're right is in a competition and doesnt even know it, and the girl sounds like she is holding on to each of them until the OP makes it known what he's doing or she simply gets tired of the games

[getbiii]

ok let me copy and paste what i wrote on another forum.

 

its the latest update

 

so just like the whole rebound theory goes, i went out with her last night. she was begging me all day long. we had a deep talk and also very mature. she told me the truth about everything. what she told me was what i already thought, "the rebound theory" she said he is a nice person but she realized that he isn't someone who she would like to be with the rest of her life, that they were not compatible on any aspect. she said that she was thinking about our relationship and that she realized how nobody understood her like i did, she is a very deep person who loves poetry and talks very deep all the time and we would always get into deep talks, she said when she told this guy that she had no feelings for him that he couldn't even understand thoose simple words. that she spent a lot of time with him like she did with me but that she was with me all day because she wanted to and that all this time she was with this guy, she was with him because he wanted to and she felt obligated to. she said she felt he was invading her personal bubble and what not, she said he changed his dressing style and said he would change for her to love him, with both agreed that you should love someone for who they are and not for who they can be, because even if he did change on the outside he would still be him. and you should also love someone who loves you for who you are. she said this guy is really obsessed with her, it does make sense and it does seem like it, she said that when she told him he imediatly became depressed and left work and went to the hospital, its so strange because he is 5 years older than me and he has only known her for a month! (he probably would of killed himself if he was dumped by her after a longterm relationship like me) she said that even thou she doesn't like him or has feelings for him that he is a nice guy and she feels bad for hurting him and thinks he doesnt diserve that, which i understand very well...

 

she told me a lot more things but i can't remember everything, but i swear that 80% of the things she said sounded just like the posts i have found on the web about rebounds. every sentence she would say would remind me of the articles i have read.

 

 

it wasn't all drama that night, most of the time we were having fun until we went for coffee and sat in my car she said "can i tell you whats going on?"

 

today again she came over and we slept together all morning long (no sex)

ate and had fun, things we used to normally do.

 

yeah i have worked on what drove her away, although it was mostly not in my hands,

she confessed that her friends don't like me and they pressured her into going out with this guy... she said shes not even friends with them anymore.

 

what i did was get stressed out and take it out on her,

[MakestheBest]

what i did was get stressed out and take it out on her,

 

I'm glad things are working out for you, seriously. This site need a happy ending or two...what did you do to take it out on her?

[getbiii]

well i guess just the fact that i was stressed out a lot,

i had a very tight schedule, a short semester at college and a lot training for this seasons mtb races,

so every time i wasn't busting my butt in class or training, i would be with her.

(i know this doesn't sound like a lot but i have a double major so i was taking a hand full of clases)

so i guess she had to deal with me being tired and fustrated.

 

so say i was stressed out because i had finals and didn't get any sleep because of that,

the next day i would be upset or just stressed and she have to deal with that,

i guess it made her feel like i didn't care about her

 

i don't exactly know what i did,

i never yelled at her or said bad things to her.

althou i did get mad at her one day for being late

but im the kind of person that when i get mad i just shut up and not say a word,

when im mad and people try to talk to me i just answer short or ignore it.

 

i guess she just felt unappreciated, then her friends poisoned her mind.

[MakestheBest]

that doesnt sound too horrible

[getbiii]

i guess so

[MakestheBest]

Aww. what i mean is unless you're leaving something out, and you see the prob and you're willing to change, this doesnt seem like a reason to stay broken up.

[getbiii]

so yeah she left her rebound, i was with her this morning she was ok, now she called me from the hospital saying she wasn't going to be able to see me, (she was supposed to come over again) she has been taking anti depresants but that were not prescribed to her, i talked to her mom and she told me that she had been feeling bad and called her, i told her i really care for her and wanted to know if there was anything i could do for her or if i could go see her at the hospital, she said "just wait for now, she might be out soon"

 

 

i don't know what to do =S

i feel real helpless, me and her had a special relation because we are both medically considered depressivem we were like each others therapists and we got off pills because were helped each other, i know her better than anyone else and i know ic ould help her again...

 

what should i do?

[MakestheBest]

do whatever you can to show your support, if her mom doesn't think its a good idea to come over just keep asking when you can. And when she's out, i think you should have something or have done something that shows how much you have been thinking about her and want to be there for her.

 

Its about time to leave the "unavailable" game alone.

[getbiii]

yeah most definetly, i will i am, we have been seeing each other all this week and everything was going fine, just today i saw her and we had fun and she was laughing and what not, she was only complaining about her back she said she was in her "days"

could that be why shes in the hospital? because of the medication and her period?

[MakestheBest]

THAT I couldnt say dude...I know women who's period and or the medication puts them in the hospital but that is very rare. Just ask her mom and or wait and see what it is. I'm glad you've got your girl back tho Now lets just keep our fingers crossed that she's safe. I'm sure she will be.

[getbiii]

i asked again how she was doing her mom told me that i should stop seeing her and talking to her and if i care about her that i should leave her

[getbiii]

is there hope for me? =(

[MakestheBest]

I don't understand why would she say that... You need to talk to her and find out what is going on.

[getbiii]

i think her parents blame me for her depression

[MakestheBest]

if there is anyway to make amends with the parents then do it. But it sounds like you are going to have to wait for her to get better until you talk to her. Is it possible that you're the cause of her depression? If so maybe you should not see her and try to contact her some other way. If you don't believe her parents are correct, then I wouldnt stay away from her as long as you don't have to run her parents over to get with her. Don't cause conflict with the parents of someone you really care for if you don't have to.

 

Im really confused tho. What have you done in the past that has contributed to her depression ( specifically ). And why would she be depressed now because of you when you were both getting along so well. Its def not a good thing that they dont like you for her, but you need to talk to her. She's a big girl.

[getbiii]

well nothng exept breaking up with her, thats the only way i have contributed with it, but she dumped me for some one else, so shes deprressed because she was missing me and wasnt wtih me,(thats my guess) and her parents have more fault than i, they have been giving her medication, anti depressants which we not prescribed to her and that is the biggest no no ever =S

[getbiii]

p.s. she has always had psychological disorders because of her parents, they have treated her like s***, they caused her bulimia, her dad was a macho man who beats women, so many things =S and i get blamed for loving her

[MakestheBest]

OK, then no i wouldnt take her parents judgement at its word at all. I'm sorry this is killing you. Just figure out how to get in touch with her as best you can without upsetting the parental apple cart.

[getbiii]

well she doesnt have a cell anymore, the best i can do is right her emails, i dont think ill be able to go to her house.. because of the parents. hopefully she will look for me, i now know the cause of what happened today, so turns out her rebound saw her car at my house that is when he told me "good luck she is all yours" i guess he texted her too, then they went to talk probably after she left my house, thats why she said she gave him her cell phone back, i guess she already wanted to break up with him and thats why he came to my house to see if she was here because he probably already felt it coming, she told me she didnt want to hurt him, she probably felt bad that he found out, she probably wanted him to get bored of her and dump her, i was texting him very maturely he said that he didnt want anyone to get hurt and he wants her to be ok but we ahve to look for ourselves at the same time, that he doesnt want her to feel obligated to be with one of us for the wrong reasons and that we should meet and talk ...

[MakestheBest]

This still doesnt explain why the parents blame you. Maybe they preferred the rebound? I'm glad this isnt related to you tho. She seems very fragile tho. that means you have to treat her EXTRA special this time around!

[getbiii]

yeah actually they did perfer him...

[MakestheBest]

yeah, then they are just mad that she is moving back towards you.

[getbiii]

im going to do my best theese days to become a better me,

she is going to canada for a week tomorrow.

i say she will at least send me an email or call me

when she does come back... =)

 

 

i love her and i have faith in our love, its not the first time her parents ask me to not see her, it has never kept us apart.

she needs me now more than ever and i need to be strong if i want her back,

because two people with depression couldnt work out

[getbiii]

she called me today, her parents locked her in an asylum, they really don't know whats best for her. she says she only gets a 15 minute recess and her parents visit her so i can't see her, i asked her how long she was going to be there, she said she didn't know... she told me she doesnt want to go back home. im willing to take her away, not only because i love her but because i wanna help her. the phone call ended before we could say goodbye, i promised her she would be better and i told her she could call me when ever and that if she ever needed anything i am here for her, i hope to hear from her soon...

 

this tells me she does love me and isn't mad at me or anything, she chose to call me becaue she wanted =)

 

i just hope this ends soon