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soo i've been reaading thru posts over and over again,

i just now realize NC is not to get you ex back, its to wait out the rebound and heal, im trying a new method and after only two days its working =O

so im having contact with her but only when she starts it, im saying things to get into her mind even when with her boyfriend, i know her like no one else so it shouldn't be hard, so as some of you have read my posts, i was going to meet her today at 5 at a park to talk about the relationship, i knew she wasn't going to show so i didn't go. turns out she was with her boyfriend, i ask her if she was going to "come" she said are you there? sorry im at blah b lah blah, i said yeah thanks, then i asked her if she did want to talk? then she said yeah, she asked me if we could talk during the night, i said depends... do you love me? i made her tell me she loves me then i said ok then don't worry about today i knew you weren't going to show up anyways so i didn't get my hopes up high plus i was goign to see some clients. she responded clients? =O and i said yeaah, oh i haven't told you? i got the best job in the world but ill tell you about that later, then she said ok well i'll talk to you later, and i said oooh sorry i can't im going to the movies with my cousin i'll call you later, she asked cousin? =O (she knows my cousin he was living out of town) i said i would call her after i got out of the movies, time went by and i never called her, i guess she was waiting for it even while with her boyfriend. she sent me texts saying "you don't love me any more do you?" i didn't reply, then she said some other things to try and get my atention, i gave it to her but in another way, i said oh sorry im at the movies call you when i get home. i never called her and won't... she'll be waiting for the call. then just now i went to dinner =O it just so happened to be i was dressed really nice tonight, and it turns out she was with her boyfriend and the same place. she new i was there since i arrived first and my car was parked in front, she was even sitting in the opposite direction to not face me, so i guess i was on her mind that night, i saw them until i left and smiled at them and said "heeey good night you guys" she stared at me and barely said high in the lowest voice ever and had a surprised look, her boyfriend didn't even turn to look at me he acted like he was eating, she happened to sit by the register and i was paying and played it cool and stared at a t.v over her head, my friend says she looked like she was going to cry, =O 20 min later! i get a text saying "sorry"..... i don't know how to respond and i don't know why shes sorry, im going to reply "theres no reason to be =)bon apetit"

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yup my friend says she turned bright red and that her boyfriend was trying to talk to her and she wouldn't talk. i still don't understand why she would say shes sorry? does she think it hurt me? was she just trying to get a response from me because i didn't text anything? i have the feeling she is going to go to sleep thinking about it.

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I hope this works out how you're hoping it will, but I wouldn't reccommend game-playing to anyone trying to win their ex back. This sort of thing could easily backfire.

 

The essential part I agree with is taking care of yourself, not being clingy or available every single time they want to see you - basically showing you have your own life and aren't a sad wreck without them. But all this deliberate setting an ex up by saying you want to talk then ignoring them, it all feels a bit... low.

 

It will be interesting to see how this pans out for you.

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yeah well thats why im doing it too, she had control over my emotions. now she doesn't.

today at 4 am she sent me a text saying "do you love me?"

at 8 she sent me one saying "please answer"

then she called me and asked if i had recieved her texts, i said i don't know im asleep, i asked her what they said and what was up? she said nothing so i said ok bye"

then she called me and told me she was outside of my house, i told her i was asleep and to give me 5 minutes, then she said no its ok i'll just leave and i said fine if you want to ok bye.

 

i know she was saying that she would leave to get my atention,

im not really playing games, im just trying to show her how cofindent and not dependt of her i am.

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. But all this deliberate setting an ex up by saying you want to talk then ignoring them, it all feels a bit... low.

.

 

hey i know, we both set it up the night before to talk, she was the one that lied and wouldn't show up. i had asked her sincerly if she wanted to know what was going to happen, s he said yeah so i said we should meet and talk, i know that if we did meet, it would have led to no where, she would have said she was confused or didn't know what she wanted."

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update: she sent me a text saying

"are you goinga to tell me? or is that a no?"

i took a while but i replied:

"sorry im, at work"

one hour later, she replied:

"fine you don't have to say anything, i get it. don't talk to me then, we have nothing to talk about. talke care, sorry to bother you at work"

 

im not going to reply,

i thinking that last text was out of desperation and a call for atention.

 

what do you guys think?

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both 19. im turning 20 this summer.

 

UPDATE: new text from her,

 

its a song from a band that made us fall in love with each other when we first met

 

"when you get close to me, my engine starts burning, you give me a fever and i start to consume myself again. give me one last kiss that will last till i die, like a vice that hurts, i wanna look into your eyes..."

 

 

p.s. i didn't reply to the last one and don't know if i should to this one

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The only thing I'd caution here is that this could turn around on you. She could get fed up and decide that your lack of responses indicates a genuine lack of feeling.

 

She's obviously not at that stage yet since she's still texting you, but from that previous text where she talks as if she won't bother getting in touch again, part of her is already turning to anger.

 

Is the aim here to get back with her? It seems like you'll both have some apologising to do if that actually happens, her for when you broke up and now you for how you're messing her around now that you're apart.

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hey yeah i wanna get back with her, any ways so today we talked on im and she ended saying how much she loves me and that she wants to be my happiness again and started saying how she wants to do all the things we used to, so we went out,

like lovers again we had fun we talked we remember old times we kissed we flirted, we made jokes, then she had to leave and on the drive home, she was silent, i asked her if she was mad, she said no, i asked her if she regreted today, she said no.

so i pulled over to ask her what was on her mind, we talked she started cryng and she says she does want to come back to me, that she wants to be with me again but that she doesnt know what to do about the other guy, she says she doesn't want to hurt him. so i feel like im back to zero again, although she did now admit that she wants to be with me, it still doesnt mean anything until she leaves him.

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Well, it's in her court now. There's nothing much you can do since it'd be a horrible idea to try and 'gently persuade' her to leave him asap. If she really means it then she'll leave him and come back to you.

 

Take it with a pinch of salt until she actually does something. You don't want to end up as her bit on the side.

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yeah thats what im trying to do, show her that she doesn't have me fully, kinda hold back from her, and if i see this going no where, then ill put my foot down again and go back to what i was doing to show her that im ok on my own, i hope this sounds right, it sounds better in my brain

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wow i messed up, i shouldn't have seen her =S

i should have let her miss me more, two days have passed and she hasn't called me

today i saw her face book

and she uploaded a photo of her favorite painting

and wrote

"Open hearted as a heart can be

Cause we're all a ruin like broken leaves.

I give you me, in oceans of tears

Up to my knees stitched together like pants and sleeves.

I carry this-carapace worn thin by he and she,

Danced to dust and dusk and strung along the highway,

I found my way

belligerent..following the stars..of your eye ...s.

 

Promise me, that you'll cherish this

This tarnished...offering"

 

 

what the f---- ???

 

 

what does this mean? she is becoming attached to this guy?

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It could mean a lot of things but it sounds more like a painful post-break up poem than an 'I'm so in love!' poem.

 

It sounds like she's confused about her feelings right now. On the one hand, she obviously feels something for you. And she's unhappy. But she must also feel something for this guy or she'd break up with him for you. It could be that the happy feelings she has with him are confusing her about you - does she really want you back, is she just scared of the unfamiliar etc etc.

 

You are right, she can't miss you in this situation. But it doesn't sound like she's moving on very well either. You seemed very confident that this would work in the start and it has gotten you to a certain place. It might just need some rethinking. Making her miserable by deliberately throwing her emotions around like you have been perhaps wasn't the best - if you make her sad and the other guy makes her happy, that's going to confuse her even more.

 

I wouldn't throw in the towel based on something she wrote on facebook though. She could just be having a difficult day.

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yeah i wasn't trying to mess with her feelings i was just hoping by ignoring her i would make her miss me more which she did but then we saw each other and she is happy again and she can go back to that guy,

and if shes sad because she misses me its not like she can go and tell this guy that,

then again i read the rest of the lyrics to that song

and parts of it say, where has my lover gone? and things like that

but she choose thoose words from the song

so i don't know

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lol just now i talked to her on my IM,

when she goes online its only to talk to me,

because no one else uses that IM here.

i kept it short and sweet,

she asked me if i didn't want to talk to her?

right after she said hi,

i wonder what makes her think that?

i told her i need to go because its 1am no obvious reason is need to be explained why i would leave,

she said her too then,

then she told me hold on, let me just tell you one last thing.

don't get mad,

"i love you"

 

i didn't say i love you back

i just put a happy face and said good night

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yeah I'm going to have to agree with housekitten..even if you are ignoring her to make her miss you more, its still a game and one that should not be played..because it seems there is a huge cat and mouse thing being done here, all the while she is still with the other guy, but keeping you in the picture just in case, and there you are thinking youre winning her back by giving small amounts of attention, its lose lose that way..NC is for YOU..not to wait him out or win her back..plus its been mentioned and I highly agree you are playing with fire, she could at any second decide she doesnt like how you are acting and cut you loose, tread lightly

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ll the while she is still with the other guy, but keeping you in the picture just in case,

 

I don't agree with this, I think she feels VERY confused. You are playing games with her and thats what games get. Can I ask, have you paid any attentiont to the thing that broke you guys up in the first place? Are you working on that?

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Ill give you that she is very confused, and she may not even be aware she is stringing this along for an ego boost, or a sure thing, but it sounds like it, telling the OP that things arent that great and asking if he still loves her, all the while still in the relationship she is in..a lot of variables there, but i welcome the opinion

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Ill give you that she is very confused, and she may not even be aware she is stringing this along for an ego boost, or a sure thing, but it sounds like it, telling the OP that things arent that great and asking if he still loves her, all the while still in the relationship she is in..a lot of variables there, but i welcome the opinion

 

To be honest, I would say the person being strung along is more likely to be her boyfriend. It sounds like she's very confused about the OP, probably not helped at all by his actions, and her boyfriend is in a competition he didn't even know he'd entered. I get the feeling she's unsure about how the OP feels, again due to how he's behaving, and so she's unwilling to get rid of the new boyfriend because if it all goes to hell with the OP, she'll need someone to fall back on.

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