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I've just noticed my boyfriend seems to be getting back in touch with one of his exes. Not a big deal. The thing is, is that this particular girl has a history with him that I don't necessarily feel comfortable with when I think of them talking again. He was in a 2+ year relationship with another girl when he went out of town for a few months, slept with this girl, came home, broke up with his girlfriend and shuttled this particular female immediately into his home. The relationship was short-lived and didn't end well but the thought of them getting back in touch makes me uneasy. The better part of me figures that I shouldn't have a problem with it since it was a few years back, but due to how she came into his life I'd feel better if he stopped contacting her. Am I acting unreasonably? If not, how do I tell him to drop her?

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If your boyfriend is capable of of sleeping with someone he just met and dumping his gf to move the fling in with him, I would say that your concerns should be much more than just this one woman...he could potentially meet someone else and do the same thing. His character seems rather off and I certainly would be suspicious about him getting back in touch with this ex.

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I'm not sure how long they've been in contact, I only noticed the other day. We don't live together so the only forms of communication I've seen have been Facebook messages. It seems that he's initiated contact and has been asking her questions about her personal life as well as some small talk. Again, it's really hard to for me to know if this is the extent of what's been going on. It's all I've seen so far.

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I'm not sure how long they've been in contact, I only noticed the other day. We don't live together so the only forms of communication I've seen have been Facebook messages. It seems that he's initiated contact and has been asking her questions about her personal life as well as some small talk. Again, it's really hard to for me to know if this is the extent of what's been going on. It's all I've seen so far.

 

Given his history, I would have a hard time trusting him at all. He seems pretty shady to me. Are these private messages, or things they are saying on each other's wall?

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They're wall posts. I don't think that he's capable of doing something that ridiculously stupid again. I was his best friend for nearly a year before we started dating and I know how much he regrets what he did but at the same time I have a hard time understanding why you would want to talk to someone again who ended up making you so miserable.

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the hairs on the back of my neck would be standing up. sounds very shady. he should not be communicating with her on FB. this is insane. why does he want her in his life would be my question. for me, if you need to be close to your ex, you don't need to be in my life. it's too short.

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I'm glad it seems that I'm not overreacting to this, I really thought that I would be. It's not like I have a problem with him talking to his exes, I'm on good terms with the ones I've met (including the one he turfed for this girl). I know that confronting him about it should go smoothly in theory as what I'm asking doesn't seem completely unreasonable but I just don't want him to think I'm being paranoid. He's grown up a lot since all this happened but some things should just stay in the past.

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They're wall posts. I don't think that he's capable of doing something that ridiculously stupid again. I was his best friend for nearly a year before we started dating and I know how much he regrets what he did but at the same time I have a hard time understanding why you would want to talk to someone again who ended up making you so miserable.

 

Does he regret what he did because she was so miserable or does he regret what he did because it was not a very honourable thing to do to cheat on your partner, dump her and then move in with the one he cheated with. Something tells me that he doesn't have any regrets about his lapse in moral judgement, because if he did, he wouldn't be opening up communication with this woman.

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