CanadianGirl22 Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 I've just noticed my boyfriend seems to be getting back in touch with one of his exes. Not a big deal. The thing is, is that this particular girl has a history with him that I don't necessarily feel comfortable with when I think of them talking again. He was in a 2+ year relationship with another girl when he went out of town for a few months, slept with this girl, came home, broke up with his girlfriend and shuttled this particular female immediately into his home. The relationship was short-lived and didn't end well but the thought of them getting back in touch makes me uneasy. The better part of me figures that I shouldn't have a problem with it since it was a few years back, but due to how she came into his life I'd feel better if he stopped contacting her. Am I acting unreasonably? If not, how do I tell him to drop her? Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 how and why is she back in his life, and how did you find out? how often do they talk? do you know what they talk about? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 If your boyfriend is capable of of sleeping with someone he just met and dumping his gf to move the fling in with him, I would say that your concerns should be much more than just this one woman...he could potentially meet someone else and do the same thing. His character seems rather off and I certainly would be suspicious about him getting back in touch with this ex. Link to comment
CanadianGirl22 Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 I'm not sure how long they've been in contact, I only noticed the other day. We don't live together so the only forms of communication I've seen have been Facebook messages. It seems that he's initiated contact and has been asking her questions about her personal life as well as some small talk. Again, it's really hard to for me to know if this is the extent of what's been going on. It's all I've seen so far. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 I'm not sure how long they've been in contact, I only noticed the other day. We don't live together so the only forms of communication I've seen have been Facebook messages. It seems that he's initiated contact and has been asking her questions about her personal life as well as some small talk. Again, it's really hard to for me to know if this is the extent of what's been going on. It's all I've seen so far. Given his history, I would have a hard time trusting him at all. He seems pretty shady to me. Are these private messages, or things they are saying on each other's wall? Link to comment
CanadianGirl22 Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 They're wall posts. I don't think that he's capable of doing something that ridiculously stupid again. I was his best friend for nearly a year before we started dating and I know how much he regrets what he did but at the same time I have a hard time understanding why you would want to talk to someone again who ended up making you so miserable. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 He sounds like a repeat offender. Pay close attention to his actions from the past, add up what you now suspect, and make a decision. Link to comment
25thfloor Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 the hairs on the back of my neck would be standing up. sounds very shady. he should not be communicating with her on FB. this is insane. why does he want her in his life would be my question. for me, if you need to be close to your ex, you don't need to be in my life. it's too short. Link to comment
CanadianGirl22 Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 I'm glad it seems that I'm not overreacting to this, I really thought that I would be. It's not like I have a problem with him talking to his exes, I'm on good terms with the ones I've met (including the one he turfed for this girl). I know that confronting him about it should go smoothly in theory as what I'm asking doesn't seem completely unreasonable but I just don't want him to think I'm being paranoid. He's grown up a lot since all this happened but some things should just stay in the past. Link to comment
25thfloor Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 Facebook is ruining a lot of relationships for this very reason. just because it's legal and out there doesn't mean it's acceptable to have relationships with your ex's. they are ex's for a reason. it's disrespectful to the current relationship. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 They're wall posts. I don't think that he's capable of doing something that ridiculously stupid again. I was his best friend for nearly a year before we started dating and I know how much he regrets what he did but at the same time I have a hard time understanding why you would want to talk to someone again who ended up making you so miserable. Does he regret what he did because she was so miserable or does he regret what he did because it was not a very honourable thing to do to cheat on your partner, dump her and then move in with the one he cheated with. Something tells me that he doesn't have any regrets about his lapse in moral judgement, because if he did, he wouldn't be opening up communication with this woman. Link to comment
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