clarebear2486 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 If you and your significant other broke up ( you broke up with them) and were apart for quite some time ( over a year), but remained in contact nonetheless... and you still were in love with them and vice versa, would you take your time and see what else is out there first ( since you know they're there and probably won't be going anywhere), and take that risk? or... Would you try to rekindle the relationship and attempt to get them back and fix whatever needed fixing? Link to comment
CBG Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 What caused the breakup is a huge variable. Link to comment
clarebear2486 Posted January 22, 2010 Author Share Posted January 22, 2010 Say you and your ex were pretty much great on every level.. there was love, there was trust and there was loyalty and you got along great with their friends and family... you just disagreed from time to time ( nothing huge) and had a few different beliefs... Link to comment
clarebear2486 Posted January 22, 2010 Author Share Posted January 22, 2010 and those beliefs and little disagreements are what caused the breakup.. because they built up over time.... Link to comment
Cheeks18 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 I would prolly give the relationship another shot.....Atleast thats what I would do with my ex....We dont hate each other and our breakup was legit, but it could have been fixed... Link to comment
Tired Tiger Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 and those beliefs and little disagreements are what caused the breakup.. because they built up over time.... Then the primary question is if those issues have been resolved. Link to comment
anon12 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 My ex broke up, came back, and went back to her new boyfriend twice, in 2 months. I told her i was going for good, because i was fed up of being kept in the wing. I still love her , and will always have a very deep connection with her. She said to me, that she loved me, never felt so comfortable with anyone, and was only with the other guy, for the sake of being in a relationship. I said, if you felt this way, you would have no problems trying again, because after fixing all my faults, i deserved another go. ( slightly big headed? ) She said she couldnt explain why , but she couldnt get back with me, I said if she felt that way, then she would want to be with me. She said, i do. but just not yet. She then said give me time, not to be a rebound, but just give me time. I said no, because thats really really putting myself down. If you love someone, then there should be no reason not to try again. Part of me still wants to tell her, ill give you the time. But thats going to keep me stuck in the past, and what if she changes her mind, and doesnt come back. Dont take him being there for granted, because as much as i love this girl, i had to say no to protect myself. If you love him, then be with him, and fix the faults, dont assume hes going to wait while you fool around with someone else. Because if you did love them, you wouldnt do that to someone. Link to comment
Cheeks18 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 I think you need to totally let her go and move on Bro..... "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." Link to comment
Chris Knows Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Not sure if you read my story ... but my two cents. Dated my girlfriend for 4 years. We split in in September. She had a rebound boyfriend right away. I went NC ... she realized she loved me still. I gave her a 2nd chance. Like the earlier poster said before ... let them go. If they come back and fight for you then it's meant to be. Link to comment
KG Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 "If they come back and fight for you then it's meant to be." Very true....I had to come back and fight....then 25 years together. Link to comment
jettison Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 If you and your significant other broke up ( you broke up with them) and were apart for quite some time ( over a year), but remained in contact nonetheless... and you still were in love with them and vice versa, would you take your time and see what else is out there first ( since you know they're there and probably won't be going anywhere), and take that risk? or... Would you try to rekindle the relationship and attempt to get them back and fix whatever needed fixing? One reason getting back together is so tough is because you feel like you have more to lose with someone you already have history with, and especially, some kind of LC friendship. With a new person, you can just make a move, and if it doesn't work out then "oh well". Plus, you know each other so well. Think about all the people you've flirted with in the past. They know you, all your charms, all your silliness. The light-hearted flirting bit just doesn't always take as well. So, if you act like you are interested, but just want to "see where it goes", and then one or the other partner senses waffling or hesitancy, that's all it can take to mess it all up and cause the other person to think "screw this... they don't know what they want." I think it pays to be pretty honest, pretty early in the reconciliation game unless it's literally been years since you've been around each other, and you are genuinely getting to know them again. Link to comment
NowandZen Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Hopefully, I would be enlightened enough to know that I would have to deal with MY issues prior to getting involved in any relationship. I can't fix other people's issues, it's just a question of can I live with them. Link to comment
clarebear2486 Posted January 22, 2010 Author Share Posted January 22, 2010 I think you need to totally let her go and move on Bro..... "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." I completely agree with this... he broke up with me and i did let him go... my only problem is that he keeps coming back... He messages me, he messages my brother and my friends from time to time.. and he has the tendency to reminisce on stuff from our past together, yet he just recently got into another relationship ( currently, I don't talk to him unless he contacts me)... so, case in point being... how do you let someone you care for more than anyone go, when every time you attempt to, they return? What implies "letting go"? Link to comment
clarebear2486 Posted January 22, 2010 Author Share Posted January 22, 2010 I would prolly give the relationship another shot.....Atleast thats what I would do with my ex....We dont hate each other and our breakup was legit, but it could have been fixed... If you don't mind me asking.. (and you don't have to answer if you don't want to).. why didn't you and your ex get back together if the relationship didn't end badly? Link to comment
Cheeks18 Posted January 24, 2010 Share Posted January 24, 2010 If you don't mind me asking.. (and you don't have to answer if you don't want to).. why didn't you and your ex get back together if the relationship didn't end badly? Because we both havent "LET EACH OTHER GO"...... She got into a rebound relationship right away as well so that doesnt help haha..... I still care for her way to much and I know she feels the same....So in my OP we really havent let each other go to see if it comes back....it doesnt happen over night... Do you get what I am saying? Link to comment
clarebear2486 Posted January 24, 2010 Author Share Posted January 24, 2010 yea i get what you're saying completely... and that's exactly what i'm going through right now.. that makes a lot of sense though... you both have to let one another go, to see if you're really meant to be... sheesh love is complicated lol Link to comment
Cheeks18 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 yea i get what you're saying completely... and that's exactly what i'm going through right now.. that makes a lot of sense though... you both have to let one another go, to see if you're really meant to be... sheesh love is complicated lol Yes it is....Haha....Just continue on in life and try and move on.....If you and your partner are like me and hopefully like my ex, you will always have a big piece of your heart for your ex, and maybe one day when the time is right all the pieces will fall into place and you will be together forever. Or not, who knows!! haha...Just be happy!! Link to comment
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