I was once over all this.

[EOTD]

I have NEVER told anyone this. A few years ago I got depressed, DEATH. It was the only thing I thought of when I tried to sleep at night. It made me sick, every night the same thing happened. I'd start to drift off then out of nowhere I would get out of bed with what I can only describe as histeria. The things that came into my mind. It made me not want to sleep. I did all that was in my power not to sleep, I felt alone.

 

This went on for about 8 months and it was a talk with my step-dad that changed everything.

 

We spoke about God, Life and the things that really matter. That night I slept like a baby.

 

Sadly It has all started up again, It is now the second week I've felt like this and it's really hard for me. I'm in a relationship and my girlfriend does not know that I spend my nights crying and thinking of horrible things. At this point in time she does no need to be burdened with this. I have only had 3 hours sleep in the last 48 hours. I don't know why It has started.

 

I don't want to sleep.........

[Lalaleah]

Have you sought the help of a professional or clergy about this? It sounds like something you shouldn't fight alone. I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

[itsallgrand]

Is it possible to talk to your step dad again? He seemed to be really helpful.

 

I'm sorry you are going through this. I can personally relate.

 

Yes, talking to someone you feel real comfy with, a good heart to heart, can often help. Unburdening it. The worst thing you can do is try to keep it all inside and to yourself.

 

At this point, the sleep exhaustion is creating the snow ball effect. Need to stop the momentum and get some good nights rest.

 

How you feel right now won't be forever, trust that, it'll get better once you get some relief.

[top bloke]

We are alive to live this life. Death is a phase which we enter in the same way we are sucked into life from no where. While we live we cannot know death because we are here to be the best people we can be.We are here to enjoy the blessing of openning our eyes every morning and experiencing a new day

You have a girlfriend in your life. A woman who wants you..what a blessing. My friend we all look for doom and gloom in life then we will live in doom and gloom. Start appreciating and really noticing the beauty of life and you will be more alive than ever.

Life is a journey.Enjoy the journey. The end isnt important..its the journey

[Hugwolf]

I went though a short phase like this too when I was about 19, though it wasn't nearly as bad as what you are experiencing I think. I'm not entirely sure, but I think these thoughts crept in when my life was devoid of other emotions-- basically, when my life was so boring that I had nothing else to keep my mind occupied when I lay in bed. There was no imaginable future to daydream about so all I saw was the end. That is awfully depressing. When some things changed in my life and I had goals to work towards again, this all went away.

 

Sometimes going to sleep listening to music or watching TV helped to keep my mind off it.

 

I'm not sure if this applies to you though. I imagine there could be lots of causes. Like Lalaleah said, you might want to talk to a professional.

[spearntime]

There is no doubt it is a buildup of anxiety which is causing insomnia and possibly depression. Since talking to your step dad made it better, it is obviously something built up and it can be relieved.

 

Talk to a pro. They deal with this all the time. The less you know, the worse it can get since it makes you feel powerless.

 

Take control of it, take your power back...get rid of it. You dont' need this. Do something about it!

 

Good luck with it all...

 

If you are religious, have you tried prayer?

 

Meditation?

[Trystan_23]

I would take to a professional. I'm not a doctor but I have struggled with my bouts of OCD in the past. I can,t say you have it cause I'm not a therapist but how you write about it sounds like it is something you should look into.

 

Questions you should ask yourself.

 

How often do I have these thoughts?

Do I think about me dying of death in general?

Do I try and stop these thoughts but they can not stop?

Do these thoughts prevent me from doing daily activities?

 

anyways talk to a therapist or doctor, they can help you decide whats best for you.

[Sn0man]

Yes, depression; many of us have shared this gloom and doom mentality.

 

You mentioned talking to your stepdad helped last time, so maybe seeing a therapist semi-regularly to 'out' whatever feelings you have bottling up so they don't come back and start the cycle of depression again for you would be a wise idea.

 

If talking isn't going to cut it, see a doctor about some meds. They actually do help.

[Xylitol]

Its not good to make your heart a murderhole, its best you seek help of a psychiater and let everything out that has been bugging you. You know life and being alive is something you need to come to terms with and accept. I know sleep looks a lot like death,but its an important time for recovery of your body link removed grab a cup of coffee and read this.

[EOTD]

I went though a short phase like this too when I was about 19, though it wasn't nearly as bad as what you are experiencing I think. I'm not entirely sure, but I think these thoughts crept in when my life was devoid of other emotions-- basically, when my life was so boring that I had nothing else to keep my mind occupied when I lay in bed. There was no imaginable future to daydream about so all I saw was the end. That is awfully depressing. When some things changed in my life and I had goals to work towards again, this all went away.

 

Sometimes going to sleep listening to music or watching TV helped to keep my mind off it.

 

I'm not sure if this applies to you though. I imagine there could be lots of causes. Like Lalaleah said, you might want to talk to a professional.

 

 

 

You have hit on some good points there.

 

I do listen to the TV/radio and it helps allot, sadly my girlfriend is woken from sleep easily

 

I have spoken to her today about everything, she had a sense of humour about it. it made everything easer. She said that it was like cheating on her, not showing her my true self. That she said that she was happy that we have spoken about it.

 

I've seen some good articles and been told of some books so I'll start reading ASAP. I'm trying to get in contact with my step-dad but because I have moved to the other side of the UK it has become hard for me to do that (I like to talk face to face).

 

Thank you all for you help, Just talking about it makes me feel better.