Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[t1lersm0m1]

I dreamed of you again last night. Do you dream of me? Do you think of me when you're awake? I'm sure that's why i dream of you, because I think of you so much during the day. I wish there was a way to shut my mind off. It's only been a month, I'm sure I'm being too hard on myself. This is a natural grieving process, grieving the loss of you in my life. I understand it, but I don't. Hindsight really is 20/20.

 

We remained friends after the first time we broke up, but that really hurt me. It hurt me when you said you had nothing left in this area and you were applying for a job in Montana, it hurt me that you didn't want to be with me, that we were in the "friend" zone. So although I would love to hear from you now, I know I would be hoping for something more deep down, and it would kill me. Deep down I know you're not ready, and I still have work to do on ME.

 

I hate thinking of you. I wish I could stop.

 

I'm convinced it you was you texting to wish me a happy birthday. It's been 22 hours and the person still never replied and said who they were. Why would they not answer me and say "hey, it's so and so", unless it was you.

 

I'm sure you thought of me yesterday even if it wasn't you. I wish I knew what to think and feel.

 

You said it's over. I have to take you at your word and stop getting my hopes up.

[bwhite00]

The thought of losing you used to cause me so much anguish that I really couldn't bear the thought for too long. A month later my worst fears were confirmed and I was left in complete shambles for two months. It's going on three months and I'm still not 100% but I am getting better. We've been through this twice now and in all honesty, we never should've been through it once. You know I am right.

 

But being right doesn't fix things. It takes two people to fix things. And so while you're with your inferior rebound who couldn't respect the boundaries of our relationship while we were together, I'll respect yours.

 

That's the fundamental difference between us I guess. If I make a promise, I keep it; if it's a vow, I'll never break it. You broke every promise you made me and I had to deal with the psychological fall-out of those broken vows. Broken promises have the power to seriously hurt people. I didn't do it to you nor would I ever.

 

Ceasing all communication has helped me tremendously. Sooner or later, I will find someone who will keep their promises. They may not be you but that might be a blessing.

 

I refuse to let this experience color any future relationships in any negative way. Sometimes it's best just to find acceptance, no matter how hard, or how long it takes. No contact is the only way for me to do that. But you still haunt my thoughts and dreams. I'll always love you with every cell in my body. This was a mistake and I am sorry I couldn't be who you needed.

[IAmFCA]

You are the last one that permeated the hermetic seal.

 

I like the seal, its the boundary I have been waiting to draw, waiting for myself to show up within myself to draw it.

 

Daxmn

 

Trick now: To be graceful with you, and not harsh. When I am harsh you recoil and miss the message. So, I stay above the fray.

 

I had the words yesterday, this morning, while sleeping, whenever it was. Where did they go? Tis true, you can have anyone you want, if you define "anyone" in the way that you have, where none are worth keeping. But you can't have me.

 

But to you, maybe its something like... I am looking for commitment, from a man who values himself enough not to get distracted by the multitude of women who want him. Ouch. No, thats not it.

 

Likelihood, I will say nothing at all. I will know the man when I find him.

[PurpleButterfly]

George... I don't know what you feel towards me. Sadness, hatred, or just a mass of emotion. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I don't make friends easily and you were/are my best friend. You and Andrew (out mutual gay best friend) are the bestest friends I have EVER had, you two are the best things to come out of my university experience. So when we became a couple George I was so thankful to have you in my life. I just didn't want to ever get married and I never wanted children, not even with my previous ex. I know I should have told you I met someone else, but how exactly was I suppose to say that I love you but I'm not "in love" with you? How do you tell someone you don't love them anymore, especially when you look back and maybe never did. I love you to death as my friend but I know you are hurting.

 

When I met Joseph, as unexpected as it was, we really connected on a level I've never had before. I thought breaking up with you would give you your freedom to meet someone else, I didn't want to keep you in a relationship I wasn't fully committed too.

 

I feel such a hypocrite because I'm now engaged to Jo. I know you don't know this yet. I know when you find out you're going to ask why him and and not you. The truth is I was so surprised at myself for accepting his proposal. But when he asked, I didn't feel that pang of 'no way, not ever' like I did with you and my previous ex.

 

I hate that I lost you. You are my bestest friend. I'm sorry I couldn't return those feelings. I just want you to know I hate myself, I hate myself every single day and I feel guilty in my new relationship because I'm happy. I just never wanted to lose you, not ever. I'm crushed. I feel like apart of me has died.

 

Goodbye George. Thank you for everything. I will always be thankful to have had you as my friend.

[Qac]

oops.. Lots of stories here.

[sniperz]

Oh... 50+ days counting after the break I issued. Many things got exposed , spread. My flaws or so as yours, girl. Time to say it. Karma strikes! I know the sin of beauty is in you. You have a black dot on your cheek's left side. You SHOULD not have even cut away natural things. Now your going to give problems of insecurity and confidence to your other second level, downgraded people for the rest of your life.

 

Cutting off black dots when it doesn't even affect your health is totally an insult to the true you. Mark my words. I am hate/love but soon it's going to set me free. Being over 365 days or more with you is a blessing to me but you have bestowed lots of problem as a woman. To be honest, you lost everything. You could have swallowed all your ego and pride after the breakup. No. You did not.

 

Your problem of insecurity and confidence brought my super confidence and security down to the minimum. It's all because of what your thinking , perceive makes this relationship a goner. I may have wrongs. And that only results in word violence. But I have changed, be careful. Knowing women are sensitive creatures. Now what you do, girl? Cling on some wastage guys out there? Some friends? Oh. Giving less fortunate the things maybe quite deserving.

 

It's there that I blocked entirely of your existence , your social media and everything from the mail side. It's your loss and my pathetic waste of years being with you. Who asked you? What's wrong with you? Damn. Speaking of it, you lack faith in the names of Christianity. I have been attending churches around which give me some gospel and blessings. So I can look forward to what I want and help the society.

 

That is but all. You wanted to change your handphone number? Do so! I wouldn't even a crap about it. Expect me to call you again? Nah. Change it for your less fortunate future boyfriends or husband? Do so. If you even know my account at ENA or LS, you'll be ashamed I have been nice earlier on. You took it down the drain!

 

R.I.P to the second ex of my relationship.

[hopelessincan]

just when I think I'm getting over you, I fall. What a meltdown tonight. Oh boy. I'm so hurt I haven't heard a peep from you. I'm shocked, disappointed and amazed. Have a great thanksgiving k? what are you going to tell your son? I know he's asking if you guys are coming for dinner. Did you finally man up and tell him that he wont ever see me again? I hope so. For his sake and mine. I miss him so much. I miss you too but you don't deserve to know that. I didn't even buy a turkey this year.

 

So much for the 8 week rule, Monday makes 9 weeks with nothing. almost 5 months post breakup. . you don't deserve the longing I have for you. At least my pride has finally taken hold. I refuse to contact you no matter how much I want to.

 

oh and met a fantastic guy a few weeks back. he's hot as hell, got his stuff together, thinks im amazing, he's always texting me, spending time with me. He treats me so well. Oh yeah, we're playing a sport together over the winter....at his insistence....He's a little messed up as am I, but let me tell you something....He knows how to treat a woman. Unfortunately. I think he and I are going to become the best of friends...but he's opened my eyes.............For a man like that to be so attracted to me, and want so badly to keep me in his life....its given me hope. I think I met him for a reason...to show me that I deserve the best and should never settle for less

its funny though,,, i'd still probably pick you....

[micro]

You decided us to finish for good.

It seems that you didn't love me as much as you were saying.

I was ready to do everything to make you the happiest woman on world.

We could have family.

 

Your pride was more important to you than real life values.

 

Hope that you have made right decision.

 

Although I still love you, from today I will stop trying to get you back. Not point doing it anymore.

 

I wish you all the best.

[Melting]

Just wish you missed me like I miss you.

 

Wish we could work it all out

[IAmFCA]

I don't believe you.

 

what I think of your intentions would offend you.

 

know thyself.

 

I am worth so much more. And you know it.

[t1lersm0m1]

I honestly don't have that much to say to you today. I wish I didn't contact you a week ago, because I'd be much further into NC and healing.

 

I hope you're well, and for your sake, I hope you're working on healing and growing. I hope the boys are well too.

 

I love you, but the pain feels less today.

[IAmFCA]

Um,

 

Maybe its like this. I do believe you.

 

But so what? What does that get me?

 

Time for me to remain bemused.

[t1lersm0m1]

I so badly want to email you and explain my fear of abandonment. It explains my behavior completely. But it's also given me a new focus, something to work on, and the hope that once I've worked on that, I will never again act the way I did with you and B. The craziness that I felt. It all makes sense now. Driving there unannounced, begging, pleading.

 

I was at work when you broke up with me. I couldn't go back to focusing on work, I blew up your email and your cell phone. You ignored me. So I drove there. And I showed up two days later. And I kept contacting you. I understand it all now.

[IAmFCA]

Ex from before. You know you are a predator, right? Oddly, I now see some of your moves with me as trying to protect me from you.

 

WTH is wrong with you. Sometimes I want to just break you into emotional pieces on the carpet. Let you wriggle there, struggling to find yourself.

 

Really, quite remarkable. Never knowingly met anyone like you. Hope I never do again. Your brilliance is matched by your sickness.

 

Glad we have no contact. Can't shake this feeling of you watching me though. Probably you are, somehow.

[iamstrong]

Ian: I am left wondering if you saw me and my chum last night at the pub. I only caught you out of the corner of my eye: I was sick to think you are shagging another new chippie. Does she know she is on a long list of conquests? I doubt it. What I found as relief was this fact: Holding my friends hand for even a few minutes is significantly more intimate than a shag in bed with you. He cares for me and my heart: You care about your trousers. He might not be as handsome as you but he has a much more beautiful heart than you ever will which makes him much more attractive than you ever can hope for.

[IAmFCA]

oh so you call me while I am on my way to lunch, and you cant get over the fact that I dont know where I am going to eat? Well, you know, how much detail do you want, exactly? Let's see, how about, I am going to first meet at my date's house, then we will walk and choose somewhere together? Is that the explanation you were looking for?

 

Sometimes you know you are bloody annoying. Leave it well enough alone already.

[Melting]

Woke up thinking of you a lot this morning.

 

It hurts.

 

I just don't know what to think of it all.

 

One minute we are buying a house and the next minute it is all over

[Kimcwell]

Found myself missing your girls today. The kids had so much fun together at the cabin. We were a family then. It still baffles me how you could throw everything away.

[Melting]

Too much time on my hands today has resulted in me thinking too much of you

[periwinkle00]

Well, I guess you hadn't seen my message. I brought it up through facebook, by the end of the week and you seemed to like it.

 

I called you today. It was the first time in over 8 weeks. Your phone was off. I messaged you on facebook that I had called. You said you just smoked a bunch of weed and you weren't in the right space to talk. I can understand that..it's interesting that you can still make facebook posts about world affairs, but you can't talk on the phone.

 

I guess when we talk, it is of an emotional nature, and when you make your posts, it's of an intellectual nature.

 

Still, I feel hurt that you don't feel the urge to call me. Your high would have worn off after a couple hours, and i get it, it's Saturday, but this has happened when we were together. Didn't matter what day.

 

I know your personality pretty well by now. I have studied it, still I can't possibly see things from your point of view.

 

You must think you are better than me. You don't need to have me in your life.

 

I have seen signs that the relationship was over, and it is, but I hope for a new kind of relationship.

 

Seems 8 weeks was not long enough.

 

It hurts when it's been so long since we've spoken, and you're not ready to call me back right away. I don't know. Maybe I am too overbearing. I put all the blame on myself, which isn't right, but there must be some sort of thing that repels you from me..yet draws you in.

[micro]

I was missing you today.

I think i saw you in your car.

 

Sunday is always the toughest day to survive without you, because i remember how we were spending time on Sundays...

[iamstrong]

Every day I am free of your spell is a good day for me. You are a bit of friend now that you have figured out that I will not shag you or purchase your spit-game: wonder how long that will last. You LIED again about the chippies you are tossing about with. You may fancy yourself a gamer: but in real time you are a sad little bloke who cannot connect in a real way. I am rid of you now.

 

I'm off to the pub with my chum to watch American football and to ignore you should you stalk me there.

[t1lersm0m1]

My head knows that I am better off without you. I feel like my heart will be quick to catch up. Your lack of self-esteem was exhausting. I told you our last weekend together I can't walk on eggshells when talking to you. I would say things and you would get this hurt look on your face, but never told me how you felt. You finally said something Labor Day weekend to put yourself down and I yelled "Enough of the personal pity party already!" I wonder if that's the straw that broke the camels back?

 

I feel like if you were over M, and had your confidence, we could have been amazing together. But that's just me wanting to change people.

 

I love you, but a little less than I did. This is getting easier. B was willing to give me a second chance in June, and we were only together 2 months. If you think I acted crazy with you, you should see how I acted with him. 100x worse than I acted with you.

 

But you aren't B. I need to stop telling myself that because he was willing to give me a second chance, surely you will. I have a feeling once I'm over you, I won't want a second chance. Your flaws will scream at me to move on.

 

I tell myself that I'll text you when it would have been a year since we met, but who knows. Maybe I'll never hear from you again.

[Melting]

The mornings are just so hard, they start my day on a horrible note.

 

My heart yearns and misses you, but I know that you do not deserve me

[Nixxi]

I logged into the game today and saw you there. You were flirting with other women and I wanted to yell out "stop I can see this!" But I didn't. I just watched while you sucked up all this attention you once received from me. Are these girls going to make you happy like I did?

 

I know I was pushy at times, and I know I should have just relaxed when questioning our relationship, but god knows I love you so much. My jealousy is starting to eat me alive.. Why are you so quick to rid yourself of me? Am I that easily replaced? Am I the only one feeling this empty gap in my chest that I only think you can fill? Why can't you see threw all the BS and come back to me? Let us be happy again? Is it because I started confiding in others you weren't keen of? If so, don't you understand that inside and out I'm dying, and needed someone to talk to when all hope is being lost.

 

I dream of you you know.. A lot of the times it's happy and I wake up just to realize it was only a dream. Which in reality they are not happy dreams at all but nightmares.

 

You must think I'm crazy, who in their right minds can fall this head over heels for someone so far? Do you ever want to meet me? Actually hold me, smell me, cuddle, hold hands, and make love?

 

I found out your mum isn't doing very well at all today. God I'm so sorry baby, I know you love her deeply. I'm sorry you thought I took your focus away from her, god I didn't mean to. Deep down I believe you know this and I also believe you know that I wasn't being selfish, I just missed our intimacy and had been acting out. Understand that online relationships are a new for me too, I can't have you standing next to me, i wish you were though. I promise I'll give you the proper understanding you need.. Won't you just talk to me?

 

I hope you will be there when I wake, I have surgery soon. Normally I would be talking to you, and you would be relaxing me. Encouraging me to do well, reminding me what I have to fight for. You're gone now. Why do I feel so alone without you?

 

I have started posting our story in forums, not too many people have advice to give. This one is so I won't write you these feelings, perhaps I've needed this site for a long time, I probably wouldn't have pushed and we'd still be together. I hope one day you will realize that we are meant for one another, true opposites but oh so much alike. I love you david.